Whispers in the Dark
by Lady Silq Ice
Summary: Horrible title. Starts at ME2, Garrus/femshep. Follows basic storyline with modifications for intended angst and romance. Will Shepard finally admit her feelings for her wayward turian comrade? Rated M for adult content late in the story.
1. Death and Rebirth

Author's Note: Sadly I do not own any of the characters or pretty much anything else in this story. Bioware pretty much has rights to all of it. That being said, this is my iteration of Selydra Shepard, my paragade colonist/sole-surviving sentinel. I hope you enjoy and I will update as much as time allows me.

EDIT: I will be going back through and heavily editing a lot of chapters, doing grammatical and minor edits in others. Hopefully the changes make the story smoother and more enjoyable as well as fill in some gaps and flesh out the characters. Each chapter edited will have a new EDIT note at the top. As a side note, I wrote in during my original penning of the story some facts that aren't necessarily true to the mass effect universe and for that I apologize, but they were a little too integral to the story and too late to change, so they will be left. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!

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He stared blankly at the pin pricked void viewable through the tiny window. Numbness, then an acute sensation of nausea overwhelmed him. The turian placed a steadying hand on the bulkhead, the faces crowding around him mirrored his expression of horror and disbelief. They had just witnessed the death of Commander Shepard. Indestructible, tireless Shepard. Savior of the Citadel, first human spectre, hero to all humanity and many other species as well. Joker's voice wailed uncharacteristically over the comm, but his words, repeating the same mantra over and over were unneeded.

The pod turned slowly in its trajectory all eyes still trained on that one spot. There had been no mistaking Shepard's red highlighted N7 space suit as the woman had spun head over heels following the last explosion that tore the Normandy apart, suit leaking precious oxygen into the darkness of space. Though so small and far away, they watched her struggle futilely as she entered the planet's atmosphere, her tiny form quickly engulfed in blazing red. Ever brightening as she plummeted downward. All the courage in the galaxy couldn't save her from the simple force of gravity. Large sections of the Normandy began to burn up in their wild decent after her.

Everyone just stared. There were no words from the occupants nor were there doubts. She could not survive that. The soft sound of Tali weeping broke the spellbound group. Garrus put a supportive arm around the fragile quarian as he continued to stare at the spot where Shepard had disappeared. Dr. Chakwas' hands were folded against her chest, a silent tear streaming down her cheek. Liara's small hands gripped the seat harness, intense sadness and denial etched in her features. Garrus was sure the occupants of the other escape pods were in a similar state of shock as they.

"Oh my god, she spaced... oh my god, Shepard... she spaced, I couldn't stop it... oh my god..." Joker's wailing mantra continued.

Two Years Later

Garrus 'Archangel' Vakarian rested on the floor under a window with his back against the wall, just thinking. Taloned hands fluttered across the sniper rifle that rested in his lap with the ease of a trained expert. His touches were almost loving, deadly fingers casually checking the weapon over for the umpteenth time.

Relaxing his grip he breathed deeply, closed his eyes, counted to three and in one smooth movement snapped them open, rose to a stable position in the window, popped off five well placed shots, his hands moved in a fluid dance across his weapon, replacing the overheated metal for each shot before he spun back to his casual sitting position. On the bridge five mercenaries fell dead. Ejecting his heat sink he considered his situation.

For quite some time Garrus had run a squad of his own and built a name for themselves on Omega, a seedy space port built into the bottom of a hollowed out asteroid. Omega made its own rules and as long as those rules didn't cross the currently ruling asari, Aria T'loak, then you were left to do business as you saw fit. If you had enough money and power it was law unto its own. The trade post was home to three major mercenary players in the Terminus System: the Blue Suns, the Blood Pack and the Eclipse. Garrus, having had enough of the Citadel and C-Sec's red tape and thousand year old rule book, decided to carve his own niche taking down wrong doer's on Omega... which pretty much meant everyone. Messing with shipments, harassing and killing their agents and ruining their deals became a favorite past time of his team of eleven squad members. One day things went horribly wrong resulting in the turian and one other being the last living members of his team, landing him in his current predicament.

'Archangel' became such a thorn in their side, to include killing the Eclipse leader's brother, that the three mercenary groups overcame immeasurable hatred for one another, banding together against him. Old quarrels were set aside and a tentative peace settled in the home camps of each mercenary faction. Utilizing their collective strengths, in essence pitting one another against him, they finally maneuvered him out of hiding. This resulted in the position he was in now.

Pinned down in a house overlooking a long bridge, doors sealed and the lower tunnels collapsed in. The only route in was the lovely bottle neck he had created using the bridge. He knew in the back of his mind that this was probably his last stand. That given enough time the team he knew was blasting their way through the collapsed tunnels would eventually overrun his position. He had efficiently taken out their gunship with one shot, a fact he was very proud of, mind you. But he knew they'd get it back in working order eventually as well. Which would get him first, the tunnels or the gunship... or both, he didn't know.

Garrus sighed in exasperation and fingered his weapon absently. Two years and he still couldn't forget her. Breathing deeply he spun, popped off another six mercenaries dumb enough to try the bridge again before resuming his former position. Ejecting the heat sink chamber more forcefully than he'd intended, he watched with partially unseeing eyes as it bounced, sizzling away to join the pile of discarded heat sinks he'd acquired. His hands methodically replaced it before coming to rest in his lap again.

Shepard had always... intrigued him. Had Alenko not been the main source of her attention he might have even fancied a deeper attachment to the spectre. Shaking his helmeted head he stared at the wall grimly. No, he was sure she never would have even considered him. A guy could dream though, right? POP. POP. POP. Three more bodies added to his collection on the bridge.

She was a brilliant military mind, an incredible shot, had more guts than any other soldier he'd met, turian or not... more balls too. Brutally ruthless and merciful heart in one being. The consequences of every action and possible outcome weighed on her heavily, and she filled out her uniform _really_ nicely... for a human that is. Which was saying a lot. As he glowered at the wall across from him with more concentration than necessary, he reviewed the considerable amount she had taught him. The woman was tireless; she always seemed to have time for all her squad members. She would often seek each one out individually to talk, even about small stuff like their families or to ask what was bothering them if they seemed down.

The spectre always seemed to have the perfect advice for every situation. Quite often he had overheard her helping another squad member with their personal issues, her never ending font of knowledge and experience baffling him. She was the strength and glue behind the whole team. Without her they had all been lost.

He still remembered the first time she had shown up down in the armory bay. Hell, he remembered the first time he'd laid eyes on her, marching up the stairs in the wake of Executor Pallin, instantly giving him the impression this was a woman who got the job done. Her manner of doing so… differed from his own, but it was a way he'd grown greatly to respect before she'd died. He smiled ruefully as he remembered staying up late one night, he'd been a member of her crew only a few days, but their last outing had banged up the Mako pretty bad. One of the hydraulic stabilizers had shorted out and he was having difficulties getting it working again. Soft footfalls had him pausing in curiosity, it was well past the beginning of the normal sleep cycle, most of the ship had gone quiet. Who could possibly be coming down to the armor this late? He'd tensed, his hand inched to his sidearm, knowing he was a turian on a human alliance warship. He'd seen the expressions the Gunnery Chief had shot him from her workbench across the way. Seeing Shepard slide under the Mako, extra tools in hand, her jump suit sleeves rolled up, a small smile on her soft human face had shocked him to say the least.

He shared his thoughts with her reluctantly at first, but soon found himself looking forward to the times she would appear, ready to help fix something mechanical as well as his sometimes skewed morals. He liked her, more than he wanted to admit to, but it was there.

What he couldn't believe though was how quickly they all dropped her after her death as well as how little they had put into investigating what had happened to the Normandy. Every surviving crew member knew it was not the geth like the new council claimed. Every one of them just wanted all her proclamations ended. No preparation for the Reapers, they wouldn't even acknowledge their existence, claiming the attack on the Citadel was 'an isolated incident.' He shook his head at their stupidity. It was like they were scrambling to undo all the good she'd done. He could only fight it for so long before he disappeared to Omega, an attempt on his part to bring some good back. To honor her memory somehow.

The infuriating part was happening recently though. He thought he had accepted it, coped with her death and moved on, but lately he couldn't seem to get her out of his head. His wayward thoughts made him miss her, re-opening that hole in his life she'd left behind. It had been two years since he'd had someone to confide in and thinking of her only made the situation worse.

Snapping his rifle up, he wiped his thoughts aside, leaving nothing in his mind but his weapon and his targets. POP. POP. He was getting bored.

POP. POP... no it couldn't be. Focusing through his scope he zoomed in on his new target as she gracefully vaulted over the barrier, immediately rolling behind cover, taking up a stance behind the new wave of mercenaries to come over the wall. Her form was precise as she nailed each mercenary in the back of the head with her high powered pistol, storming from barrier to barrier, now taking and returning fire from both ends of the bridge as she crossed. Shouts of "she's with Archangel" drifted on outraged voices to him bringing a turian style smile to his features. Effortless, graceful, biotic powers flashing occasionally, squad followed close behind, giving support. There was no doubt. But how? Laying down opposing fire, he covered her as she traversed the bridge, but was unable to resist the urge, switching to concussion rounds and popped her in the shoulder once right by the N7 insignia, before he switched back to his lethal rounds and real targets.

Falling into a relaxed stance he dispatched the rest of the mercenary resistance dumb enough to show their presence while the object of his thoughts made her way up to him.

"Archangel?" her voice was like music to his ears and an amused smile spread across his features as only a turian can smile, hidden by his helmet and visor. She didn't know it was him! Finishing off his targets he casually stood, making sure he was still behind cover and leaned against a nearby sofa, propping his foot on the furniture ahead of him, his arm draped across his knee. As he slowly reached up and removed his helmet he watched the play of emotion across Shepard's lovely face. Usual caution and a touch of aggression reserved for those she wished to intimidate was replaced by open mouthed amazement then a huge grin.

"Shepard."

"Garrus! What the hell are you doing here?" with practiced ease she holstered her heavy pistol at the small of her back, before striding over and grabbing him up in a huge hug. As she stepped back the changes she'd undergone hit him hard. She seemed stronger, _a lot_ stronger and had a network of odd incision type scars across her cheeks and forehead. The thing that bothered him the most though was the small Cerberus symbol on her companion's uniforms as well as stamped on some of their weapons. To his relief none of Shepard's gear bore the symbol, but still... Shepard and Cerberus?

"You popped me pretty good on my way up here," she said, rolling her shoulder, mock accusation in her voice.

"You were taking your sweet time, I had to get you moving," he chuckled. "Besides, concussion rounds, no harm done," Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"Uh huh," she smiled.

"If I'd wanted to do more than take your shields down, I'd have done it…" his gut tightened as she raised her eyebrow with a smile, crossing her arms across her chest.

"That sounded like a challenge to me," she quipped, a small smile gracing her scarred features. He chuckled.

"How about we get me out of here alive and I'll test your shield strength all day," she grinned and nodded.

With a smile he briefly explained his situation with the mercenaries. Shepard leaned against the back of a sofa, arms crossed over her armored chest, a small smile playing across her lips. When he finished she shook her head with an impish grin.

"Archangel, huh?" Garrus shrugged a little embarrassedly.

"A name given to me by those I've helped, it kinda stuck," he shrugged again sheepishly before taking cover and double checking his mercenary friend's progress through his scope. He handed his rifle to Shepard, letting her take stock of the wave of mechs clamoring over the barricade. The sudden boom of his rifle discharging caused him to look down at the smaller woman sharply, his stomach flip flopped as she handed him his rifle, a pleased grin on her features before informing him they were one less.

"Indeed," was all he could manage before the team fell into action, eliminating the oncoming targets, easily dropping them all before they made it to the base.

"They've got something up their sleeve, other than their failed infiltration team, I just know it," a sudden explosion beneath them seemed to rock the very foundations of the building.

"What in hells name was that?" Miranda asked as Garrus frowned checking his omni-tool.

"Damnit! I knew they'd make it through those tunnels eventually, but I'd been hoping it wouldn't be so soon. Well, I knew they had to use their collective brains at some point. Shepard, I'm best suited to holding the bridge and taking any out that try to cross, feel like ruining a few mercenaries days?" he was rewarded with a feral grin as she pulled her M-6 Carnifex Hand Cannon and snapped on a heat sink. His chest tightened slightly at her antics, reminding him how keenly he had missed her.

How many countless times before had she pulled his ass out of the fire? No, two years after her own death it was as though he'd willed her into existence at his greatest time of need. Like his own personal badass guardian angel. Quickly she ordered the man Jacob to stick with Garrus and took the female, Miranda, obviously a powerful biotic with her. As they disappeared down the back stairs he turned his attention back to the bridge, picking off the new force of mercenaries who decided to tempt fate through the scope of his rifle.

Selydra Shepard motioned for Miranda to follow and took the stairs down three at a time, she dashed to the door behind them, and ensuring cover was available as she went. Her mind was swimming with the knowledge that one of her most trusted compatriots was actually 'Archangel,' abruptly she shoved her elation aside for after the mission. Currently she had a turian to protect. Crossing through the room beyond, she caught sight of a blast shield door that was open in the next room. Garrus sounded in over the comm.

"Shepard, there are three blast doors, closing those would cut off any mercenary attempt to enter the base for quite some time," Shepard nodded.

"Got it," storming her way across the room, she took cover at the last second as a Blood Pack krogan and a few vorcha rounded the corner and began laying down fire. Biotic blasts flew by her, crippling and overloading their shields as Shepard popped out from cover and picked them off one by one, making her way slowly to the door. Slamming the button with her fist she was rewarded with a 10 second countdown until the door closed. More krogan and vorcha swarmed down the hallway in an attempt to reach the closing portal, the spectre tripped them up with fire until the door slammed shut with a hiss.

Changing direction they made their way to the second and third doors, each one more difficult to clear the rabble away from, but they managed without injury and many casualties on their enemy's part. Just as the last door hissed shut with a bang she heard Garrus' voice sound statically over the comm.

"Shepard, it looks like they're preparing for another bridge assault, you'd better get up here," the formerly deceased spectre was already in motion, sprinting her way back through the hallways and stairs in time to take cover in the lobby. The eclipse had decided to unleash their previously hacked heavy mech, who at the current moment was tearing into any organic tissue that moved around it. The leader of the Eclipse had also slunk his way across the bridge and into their makeshift base. Miranda locked the salarian down with her biotics and the two whittled away his shields and barriers, keeping the bitter man confused and off balance until he eventually fell.

"Shepard, you'd better get up here... damnit! I thought I took that damn thing out of commission!" the whine of a gunship engine, heavy gunfire, a grunt from Garrus and the roaring of her own blood pounding in her ears consumed her as she sprinted for all she was worth back through the hallways, the biotic trailing behind, attempting to keep up. She burst into the room overlooking the bridge, a spray of heavy machinegun fire caused her to dive for cover, the ammunition ripped the furniture apart as she flattened herself against the floor, sofa fluff and wood chips fell like rain around her. Frantic blue eyes finally caught sight of Garrus and her heart sank.

"GARRUS!" crawling her way over to his limp body, the commander examined the turian. From the looks of it he'd taken fire and a partial explosion, the blue blood smear on the floor signaling his attempt to drag himself behind cover. Anger welled up within her, ripples of dark energy coursing through her nervous system as she ensured he was secure behind the metal end table. No, no! She would not lose him so soon after getting him back. With an angry grunt she unleashed hell on the gunship and the mercenaries offloading into the room.

Stowing her heavy pistol and choosing her armor piercing sidearm, the spectre barraged the weaker spots on the gunship, trading off shooting and blasting it with warp when her heat sink overloaded, breaking down the armor on the engines and picking off the occasional mercenary when she felt Miranda and Jacob needed a hand.

Swarms of Blue Suns mercenaries leapt from the gunship through the shattered windows giving the Cerberus duo plenty to do while Shepard pummeled the gunship with her pistol, snapping on a new heat sink when hers ejected.

With a rage filled though triumphant growl at seeing the armor plating on the gunship damaged, she put her pistol away and began assembling her M-920 Cain, fastening each piece onto the heavy weapon and finally popping a heat sink onto it before chambering a heavy round. She only had three shots. At this point the spectre was practically on top of her unconscious charge, having taken up a halfway-straddling his ribcage defensive stance in an effort to protect him against any falling debris or gunfire.

As she snapped the weapon together, her movement must have jarred the turian and he returned to consciousness for a few moments. The confused agent opened his eyes to a very shapely set of legs spanning his ribcage, the shorter woman just barely capable of clearing his width. His eyes traveled up the length of those legs, past her curvy hips where his eyes continued upward, rolling into the back of his head and he passed out again.

Cain finally ready, she flipped the digital sight open and took aim, the weapon hummed a few moments as it powered up before there was a soft whistle, a thunk, then a huge explosion that rocked the side of the gunship. Listing badly, the airborne vehicle attempted to turn and retreat, but the human woman was faster. Reloading she aimed, warmed up and fired, the shot took the gunship right through the open door as it turned, effectively killing the leader of the Blue Suns as well as reducing the gunship to a descending mass of flaming debris.

Tossing her weapon back on her shoulder harness the concerned human's hands fluttered over Garrus as she kneeled by his side. The turian's bright blue eyes snapped open, his breathing way too gargled to be healthy, his taloned hand tightened on the barrel of his sniper rifle.

"Garrus! Joker!" she yelled into the com, "have the Normandy brought around and be ready for us! We need to get him to Chakwas immediately!"

The next day found Shepard and Jacob in the debriefing room, the commander looked zoned out as he gave her his report. The sound of the door hissing open interrupted Jacob's debrief and Shepard smiled when she saw who it was.

"Speak of the devil, we were just talking about you," Garrus strode into the room amicably.

"No one will give me a mirror, how bad is it?" he asked, gingerly touching the reconstructed part of his face.

"Hell, Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap some face paint on it and no one will know the difference," Garrus let out a bark of laughter then a groan, putting his hand back up to his face.

"Oh, don't make me laugh, my face is barely holding together as it is," she smiled, glad to have her old turian friend back. "Some women like men with scars… granted most of those women are krogan…" he glanced at her pointedly and waited while Jacob took the hint, saluting her and excusing himself. Once the door slid shut he regarded her carefully.

"Frankly I'm more worried about you. Cerberus, Shepard, really? I don't have to remind you…" she nodded as he trailed off, a sigh escaped her as she crossed her arms, turning to lean back on the briefing table. She stared blankly at the wall a moment.

"That's why I'm glad you're here, Garrus," she looked over at him, heartfelt relief in her eyes. "I need someone I can trust at my back if I'm headed into the hell they say I am," she gazed at him.

"You realize this has me headed into hell with you…" she grinned and he chuckled. He couldn't help himself, his eyes lingered a moment too long on the scars on her face and she sighed again.

"I died, Garrus. Cerberus rebuilt me," she shifted uncomfortably, not meeting his eyes. "They've spent the last two years doing just that apparently," she glanced in his direction, still not meeting his eyes.

"Well apparently they're not very good… your scars…" she chuckled humorlessly.

"Dr. Chakwas says those will heal with time. They had no choice but to wake me ahead of schedule. The facility had been compromised and was under attack when I awoke," he nodded.

"Regardless, I'm fit for duty whenever you need me, I'll be down in the forward battery seeing what I can do with the Normandy's armaments," she nodded at him and he turned to leave.

"Garrus," he looked back at her from the door, "I'm glad you're here."

He nodded and disappeared, leaving her to her thoughts.


	2. Thoughts on Kaidan and Security

Author's Note: I apologize for the length of the chapters, hopefully they will get longer as I go on. Don't mind my writing style, I tend to write in short oneshot style stints, therefore I've attempted to write them in twos at a time. The chapters will be named as such if I can help it and remember to do so. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review!

(Chapter Edited)

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If it was possible her frown seemed to deepen as Shepard sat staring glumly at the wall of her quarters. Reaching out a hand, her slender fingers trailed lightly along the burn and gouge marks on the N7 helmet mounted on her desk. The one she'd been wearing when she died. The one she'd been wearing the last time she'd seen Kaidan. At least before today.

Echoes of that day floated back to her on memories. Dragging Joker almost bodily from the cockpit and assisting him to the pod, the flames and eruptions of their loyal ship harried them each labored step. She'd always been a softie for the handicapped pilot. His gruff demeanor and soft heart belied his steely hand at the helm.

There were few people she could be herself around. Humanity's demands were so steep and she felt that weight everywhere she went. But not with Joker. With his asshole attitude and flippant ways. In a way she saw the freedom in him that she craved. The freedom she could only find in the sights of her pistol, the flash of her biotics… the sweat of battle.

Then there was the explosion that rocked the Normandy, the searing light of the particle beam finally tearing her to pieces, sending Shepard somersaulting backwards into the void of space. Kaidan. Her second in command had tried to insist on staying behind with her. Good thing he finally listened to orders.

The rest… she preferred not to remember. Despite the futility of it all, she recalled discovering her suit leak; the panic at the realization there was nothing she could do. Her floundering struggles, the increasing light and heat as her tiny form drew closer to the planet below. How long it took her to black out…and the pain…above it all, the one thing she wished she could blot out entirely… her traitorous feeling of relief.

Coming back was hardly a favor, though Miranda went through great pains to make her think it was. Her first waking thoughts has been of her crew. Then the guilt set in. So much worse than survivor guilt. Could there be such a thing as resurrection guilt? She had died. Gone down with her ship. The twenty-two dead in the destruction of the Normandy was now twenty-one. She felt so undeserving of this second chance. Then to come to her senses only to discover it was Cerberus who brought her back. Oh the knife-twisting, painful irony. When she closed her eyes it was hard not to see every one of those fifty faces of her unit, their cold dead eyes staring at her accusingly. _How could you?_

She had failed. As was evidenced by her excruciatingly painful death. But she was alive again. And she wouldn't fuck it up this time.

Rising to her feet with a sigh she sat down at her desk, determined to go through the last of the dossiers and review the latest armor upgrades Mordin had discovered, but her eyes kept gravitating to the picture sitting off to the side. Despite what she'd told Joker, things had not gone smoothly on Horizon. Kaidan had hugged her, had seemingly missed her... but then in the same breath had practically accused her of being a traitor and hadn't let her explain herself fully. The most she'd been able to voice was that Cerberus was working for her, not the other way around, and she was trying to save human colonies. There was no convincing him. Her former lover had already made up his mind. Anger and grief consumed him. Clouded his thoughts and judgment. There was no listening, there was no reason, only hurt.

For her it had been only, what? Two months? For him it had been two years of mourning and recovery. But instead of trusting the woman he supposedly had loved, he accused her of treachery and refused to hear her out. His accusations crossed the line of rationale when he threw in her face that she was letting Cerberus do what they wanted because they had resurrected her. She knew she had lost him completely in that moment, even as a friend. This wasn't the Kaidan she had spent the night with before Ilos. He had changed, but so had she.

Laying the picture face down gently her eyes slid shut, she remembered it like it was yesterday. How could he be so uncaring? How could he be so blind! It was obviously not Cerberus behind the human disappearances! Akuze. Kohaku. The rachni research facilities, now she was hearing about an attack on the floatilla? How could he think she'd condone ANY of it? The Reapers are too important for her to let her feelings get in the way.

Clearly, trusting her with his life during on the Citadel wasn't enough. Following her blindly into oncoming fire, relying solely on her militaristic strategy, quick mind and reflexes was trust of one kind and didn't carry over to decision making. For god's sake they were there in the wake of the Collectors! Chasing them down and killing them! Not helping them!

Shoving the picture in anger she stood and braced her hand against the wall between her fish tanks, opening her eyes to watch them peacefully float in the manufactured current, completely unaware of her or her struggle. Erratic breathing slowed, racing pulse calmed. This was not the way she reacted, she was Shepard. Shepard survived. It was what she did. By sheer will power and ridiculous luck she survived. It's what made her who she is It's why people trusted her. No matter what, she'd get them through. Her failures were at a count of seventy-three, if you didn't count squad mates during her N7 missions prior to the Normandy. No more failures.

What was this childish behavior? Kaidan's reaction was not unexpected really. Shepard had always known he was more in love with her ideally than actually. The thought that bothered her most was the one nagging the back of her mind, questioning if she actually ever loved him either. But enough.

Realizing she'd let herself slip uncharacteristically, she turned and approached her desk. The frame had bounced off the wall creating a small dent where the corner of the picture had struck it, still face down on the surface. Reaching to retrieve it, her hand stopped just shy of touching it. Hesitating, fingers hovering just above the frame she stared at it thoughtfully. No, she would leave it where it was, a reminder not to let her emotions get the best of her the way Kaidan's obviously had.

Resuming her seat at her desk, the spectre got to work, ignoring the picture in favor of making sure her team was ready for whatever lie ahead. It had been termed a 'suicide' mission. If there was anything Shepard was good at, it was changing the odds.

=/=

Garrus swung down from the Normandy's cannon terminal he'd been re-programming, landing lightly on his taloned feet before punching in a few numbers at the main kiosk in the forward battery. His adjustments to the cannons had gone in flawlessly. A few more tests to satisfy his overly protective nature and he'd be able to give Shepard the 'good to go.' Grabbing a few tools from his kit, he glanced at the screens he'd set up in the corner. The forward battery had become his place of residence, so to speak, he'd even set up bunk in a cleaned out utility closet just two steps away. Shepard had laughed and told him he could have a room if he wanted but he refused. The restless man wanted to be close to his work, that and the sounds gave him comfort at night, though he'd never admit that part to her.

The turian didn't quite trust EDI or Cerberus yet, so he'd quickly squashed all the surveillance bugs he'd discovered and then set up his own network of surveillance cameras, all protected with heavy encryption and a failsafe that would short them all out in the case of a hacking attempt. They fed into the set of screens he had set up in the corner, flipping soundlessly between each camera every few seconds. He knew when someone was approaching the battery long before the door opened and if he paid constant attention to the cameras knew pretty much where every member of the crew was, with the exception of the crew quarters, the bathrooms, and Shepard's quarters. Not that he hadn't thought about trying to sneak in there and set one up, but he figured the pain and suffering that would result if she found it would be worth playing it safe. This _was _the woman who killed Saren and stopped Sovereign after all.

His real reason for wanting to stay in the battery was because he slept very little. If it wasn't nightmares then it was thoughts of revenge for his team plaguing his conscience and allowing no rest. Stalking the halls at all hours of the morning like it was at the current moment was sure to rouse someone and incur their sleepy wrath. Staying in the forward battery where he could do what he wanted and be as loud as he pleased suited him just fine.

Movement on his security cameras caught his attention and he leapt back down to the main floor to take a closer look. It had been fast, as if someone was running by and immediately set him on alert. Quickly determining the person's direction he punched up the next camera they would appear on and was rewarded after a moment of watching. It was Shepard. And she was running. What was she doing up this early and running around the ship? He squinted his eyes at the hologram as he punched up the next camera view and waited. This view was a longer one and at a much better angle. She was wearing an N7 t-shirt, under armor pants and supportive shoes, her pace denoting no rush to get anywhere, her expression one of blank concentration.

Ah, she was exercising. The commander had gotten up early enough that the ship was mostly deserted and was running herself through her paces. No wonder the woman was in top shape. Her speed was much quicker than most humans he knew would be comfortable with, her skin barely showing a sheen of sweat at all, though he was sure she'd been running for a little while. Sitting back, he watched entranced, pulling up each corresponding camera as Shepard took every set of stairs, her path meandering all over the ship, avoiding all the elevators, mostly sticking to the service routes.

Finally she stopped, hands on her trim waist obviously breathing hard though there was no sound, walking in small circles by the elevator, letting her body wind down naturally. Wisps of dark hair had fallen loose around her pale face and neck, some sticking to the moisture on her skin, others gently waving with her movement. He watched her body language, fascinated as she waved a 'hello and good morning' to a sleepy Yeoman Kelly as she approached her duty station. The Yeoman immediately straightened, giving the commander a snappy salute before continuing to her destination. Shepard was by no means a large person, but her posture and self-carriage exuded authority and self-confidence. Garrus had never been attracted to humans, most of their differences were too keen to allow him to even bother thinking about it, although he had been known to appreciate the female form, no matter its race. Asari were similar to humans in shape and he'd been known to find them attractive, so it was not so different.

Turians don't sweat in the same sense humans do so the first thoughts of such a thing were somewhat repulsive to him, though seeing Shepard now, her skin glistening lightly, it didn't seem such a bad human trait. The commander appeared to be a clean woman, so he knew she wouldn't be like those humans who would sweat and stink and stew in their own filth. Turians had their own tendencies and had to make sure they remained clean as well, he supposed it was no different.

After stretching a little she took the elevator and disappeared from his view, so he relinquished control and let the security cams continue their normal cycles. Staring blankly at the flashing terminal he considered his actions. Why did he just watch her, like some creepy stalker for the past half hour or so? Was he insane? Shepard would never regard him as anything other than her friend and ally. The traitorous thoughts kept surfacing despite his efforts.

Alenko had relinquished his hold on her. The biotic had made that much clear on Horizon. The turian agent had truly felt for Shepard, the callous bastard hadn't even waited to discuss the situation in private and had maligned her right in front of her squad. Garrus didn't like Cerberus, but he knew enough to trust Shepard and her judgment. Alenko obviously didn't deserve her if he couldn't even do that. Anger surged in his chest, remembering Alenko's admission he'd known she was alive. Yet he'd not sought her out even though he'd _just_accused her of the very same thing? Instead of finding her and letting her explain herself he'd laid an Alliance trap for her, the bastard. Then he didn't even believe the proof before his eyes!

With a grunt Garrus swung himself up onto the upper platform above the cannon to continue his work. Thoughts of a trim waist swaying through his head.


	3. Acquisition of Jack & Talks with Miranda

Author's Note: I'm not going to be able to keep updating every day, but I will try to get a chapter out each week at least. I have to fit it in between school and work. Please review! No one's reviewed yet, and I promise the chapters will get better, just getting back in the groove of writing. A a side note, I can't seem to get extra spacing to stay between paragraphs, I save it and they go away, does anyone know how to fix that? Enjoy!

(Chapter Edited)

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"Damnit!" bullets went whizzing past, much too close for comfort and she chanced a look around the corner. "Garrus! See if you can sneak through over to their right and flank them, I can't get a good shot off at this angle," she barked over the comm, glancing over in the direction she knew he was in.

"Already moving Commander," came his smooth voice. Miranda was doing an excellent job drawing their fire with her lethal biotic powers, but Shepard knew she couldn't keep it up indefinitely. These guards however, seemed to be in unlimited supply. Their acquisition of Jack, purported to be the most powerful biotic in existence did not go exactly as planned. The captain of the prisoner ship The Purgatory decided that Shepard was more valuable as an inhabitant than a customer and ambushed her and her squad. Fortunately she'd stuck to her instincts and hadn't let the guards confiscate her weapons upon boarding.

Watching and waiting, dark biotic energy swirled around her hand in anticipation, the right opportunity presented itself in the form of a guard's head poking around the corner to scout out their position. Rounding the corner of the support beam she'd been hidden behind the spectre slammed the guard with the power of reave, two bullets caught the guard to her left in the head when he tried to take advantage of her vulnerable state before she spun back behind the beam. The screams of agony that drifted to her from the guard she'd assaulted with her biotics bolstered her reserve. They had to reach Jack before the guards recaptured her.

Calculated fire from the right began to rain down on the guard's defensive position giving the commander the opportunity she was seeking. Diving from cover to cover while the enemy was distracted in their search for Garrus she maneuvered into a better position, above and to the side of their cover. Blue biotics flashed in contrast to the red of her pistol fire, guards dropped left and right, returning their interest to the spectre, instead of pressing her now discovered agent.

"One less to worry about!" Selydra smiled at Garrus' voice over the comm as a guard toppled to the ground, half his head gone. Miranda pressed them from the left as the team of three moved forward, crushing the resistance. Lumbering its way around a corner, a heavy mech nearly took down the surprised Commander's shields with machine gun fire, the alarm blaring in her ear.

"It's never fucking easy, is it?" she growled into her comm, the turian quirking a smile as he sidled his way past some crates, keeping low so as not to reveal his position until he was set up. Bullets pinged all around her as she crouched, pressed against the bulkhead, waiting patiently while it expended its rounds. Dark energy swirled around her hand as the gunfire stopped. The spectre took advantage of the lull in fire while it warmed up its rocket launcher to hammer it with a warp. The rocket slammed her cover a heartbeat after she'd retreated, the force of impact knocked her forward slightly, debris showered all around her.

Leaning her head back against her cover, she waited, the soft sound of sniper rifle fire against its shields reached her ears as well as the occasional warp from the out of sight biotic.

"They always focus on me… why am I always the damn priority," she grumbled, rewarded with the sound of Garrus chuckling into his comm quietly. The next break in fire Shepard deployed another warp; the machine gun fire easily destroyed her shields in the scant moments she was exposed. The Commander stood in the fire as long as she could, her own blood spattered the wall before she whirled back into cover, and her suit automatically swam her minor gunshot wounds in med-gel.

"Shepard," Garrus berated over the comm, "you know I hate it when you do that…" she smiled humorlessly.

"Well if you weren't so damn efficient…" shields be damned, she stepped out and took a few more shots, ducking back as a hail of machine gun fire assaulted her position. "And they didn't focus on me so damn much," she growled, eliciting a smile from him, "then I wouldn't have to have holes punched in me just so I get to kill something," she scowled. It always felt like eternity as her shields recharged. Garrus grinned wider, thoroughly enjoying sniping as well as the sound of her slightly breathless voice over the comm.

The pain didn't bother her, she stared at the wall as she readied her pistol, slight red hemmed her vision as the blood pounded in her ears, the stimulus kicked in and dulled the pain, and the gel quickly healed her wounds. Her patience however, was wearing thin.

With a static hiss the armor of the mech finally shattered, it's automated voice declaring a warning that 'automated defenses were offline.' Gleefully Shepard stepped around the corner again, omni-tool flashing as she overloaded the circuits, smirking as the monstrosity toppled over and exploded, showering her in sparks and electrical parts.

Pushing through the facility, they rounded another corner and ran straight into a lot more guards and Warden Kuril, poised up above them on a platform, an impenetrable kinetic barrier protecting him from any assault. As she threw herself behind cover Shepard's keen eyes picked up the source of the barrier's power, three generator towers, conveniently left outside the barrier and vulnerable.

"So, Garrus," he saw her duck and cover in his peripheral, sneaking a shot out, her omni tool a luminous orange as she blasted what appeared to be a generator with overload. He picked up on her queue immediately and made his way closer to the tower nearest him. "Indulge me if you will," he cocked his head at her tone, automatically taking the head off the nearest guard to cross his scope. "I was the _only_ survivor of a thresher maw attack on Akuze, well, until we found Toombs, right?"

"Yes, Shepard," another merc head exploded, a whole group doubled over in pain ahead of him, the telltale streams of purple biotic reave energy wove its way through them.

"On foot we defeated the thorian, a thousand year old creature, right?"

"Mhmm…"

"On Virmire we waded through a brainless army of husks, krogan, salarians and god knew what else, battled Saren and made him retreat, right?"

"Yes…"

"You, me and Tali fought and defeated a reaper modified Saren on the Citadel, after fighting through countless waves of geth _and_ two geth dropships…"

"As amusing as it is to revisit your resume, I know all this… your point?" the last generator finally shorted out, leaving Kurill vulnerable.

"Of course you know all this. Everyone does. So why in GOD'S NAME did this IDIOT think he could capture me without me blowing up his WHOLE DAMN SHIP?" Shepard was irritated. Garrus was amused.

Garrus watched, chuckling like a fool between pot shots at the Warden's shields as Shepard assembled her Cain, the pieces snapped together easily, the young woman's face an intent glower he found almost comical, listening to her muttered grumblings over the comm. Internally he laughed. This warden thought he was king of his own empire, but the Commander only found him to be a nuisance not worthy of her time and effort. Finally constructed, she stood up, not even caring if he took a shot at her, warmed up the weapon and fired, Miranda cursed out loud as the platform exploded, flaming pieces rained down around them, the warden clearly obliterated.

Garrus shook his head with a smile at the cocky grin she gave as she replaced her Cain. She always did things with more force than probably was necessary, but it was part of the charm he saw in her. He fell into step beside her as they rushed onward and he allowed himself a chuckle.

"You're infinitely more colorful in your strategies, however you'd lack all style if I weren't around," he quipped, giving the woman a sidelong glance as she grinned.

"That's why you're here, Garrus! Wouldn't have it any other way!" Selydra smiled and locked a heat sink onto her pistol, her eyes rested fondly on the turian for a moment before returning to their headlong rush.

Standing against overwhelming odds and pulling off the impossible just seemed to be another day at the office for the formerly deceased spectre. Grace and calm calculation made every mission a new experience for the turian. The human always seemed to have a million different and new perspectives on their current battlefield, her mind always a step ahead having gone through the possible consequences and outcomes of each one.

They moved quickly, dispatching the rest of the resistance with relatively little trouble. Eventually they stumbled upon Jack who seemed to be raging over something. Glancing out the window Shepard realized it was the ship with the big ole Cerberus symbol slapped on the side. Picking off the guard Jack hadn't noticed in her fit she caught the biotic's attention. Quickly holstering her gun to show she wasn't a threat she tried to calm the overly upset convict.

After a deal was met, Shepard agreeing to let Jack have access to any file that involved the tattooed woman, the latter agreed to accompany them on their mission. The pay was good enough, so why not? Plus it meant her freedom for now.

=/=

The Illusive Man's hologram comm receded from around her and a glowering spectre turned to the exit of the debriefing room only to come face to face with Miranda, casually leaning against the wall next to the door. The genetically engineered biotic regarded her quietly for a moment, the commander stared back.

"Shepard, I have a question if I may," Miranda started, her gaze averted for a moment before returning to the only other occupant of the room. The object of her attention shrugged and leaned back against the table.

"I've read your files. I know what happened to you, probably as well as _you _do minus actually being there," Shepard's stare remained carefully blank. "You understand it wasn't the Illusive Man behind what happened on Akuze or even the myriad of other examples you encountered of Cerberus's immorality. So why is it that you speak to him with mistrust, as if he were directly responsible?" Shepard stared at the 'perfect' biotic, partially to determine her motivations for asking as well as to figure out why she cared, the commander considered her answer carefully.

"If I walked around with my gun's safety off and made a habit of shaking it at people or bumping it with my leg, then claimed that because I wasn't holding it with the intent to shoot people that the resulting action wasn't my fault, I would still be arrested for assault or possibly for manslaughter. My lack of control over the weapon resulted in people's injuries or death. I knew the safety was off and I knew I was mishandling the weapon. It's that same lack of care for what he's created; he will be held responsible, though he's dodged it thus far. Just because he wasn't directly in charge of the project doesn't change the fact that if he can't control the monster he's produced and continues to fund, then he shouldn't be funding it or continuing it at all." Miranda opened her mouth to object.

"This includes bringing me back. The reapers are the top priority threat in the galaxy right now. When they're gone? All threat to life in the galaxy is extinguished? Who do you think will be the top priority threat then?" Shepard pushed off the briefing table and exited the room.

"Think about it," the doors slid shut behind her leaving the manufactured biotic alone to her thoughts.


	4. Acquisition of Tali & Echoes and Dreams

Author's Note: Thank you for the kind review! Please review everyone! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!

(Chapter Edited)

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"Stay out of the sun!" came a frustrated hiss over his comm. Grimacing, Shepard hauled herself behind cover, the light from the nearby sun overloaded her shields, the warning sensor beeped in her ear.

"Ugh, this sun is destroying our shields," came Garrus' aggravated response. This was going to make things difficult. They were here to pick up Tali'Zorah vas Neema but none of their intel had mentioned the geth currently assaulting their position or the burning sun. Selydra growled in irritation again as bullets whizzed overhead.

"Between the sun on our left and the geth ahead there's no good way to spread out and flank them. There just isn't much cover," slinking her way through the few shadows there were, she ducked into the alleyway on the right, leaving Garrus and Miranda pinned down in the middle. The blazing sun and incoming fire made it impossible for the renegade turian and the biotic to move.

"Shepard, unless we find another route we're going nowhere," Miranda said into the comm in frustration as she glanced around, trying to ascertain the Commander's position.

"I know," Shepard said quietly back, meanwhile already having maneuvered into a more advantageous position. The spectre began to rain down fire on the geth from the side of their own cover, using tech and biotics to overload their systems and took down their shields with warp and her M-9a Tempest sub-machine gun.

Garrus took full advantage of their shift in attention, holstering his assault rifle he pulled his sniper rifle, sighting down the closest geth and putting a bullet in what could be construed as its head. He couldn't see her, but the flashes of purple and blue as she lit their enemies up with her biotics told him her position. He couldn't deny his protective nature concerning her, nor could he deny the feelings he felt churning in his gut every time his gaze fell on her. If anything were to happen to her, well the consequences wouldn't be good for whatever touched her. The blood splatters on the wall from when she'd stubbornly stood in the GARDIAN mech's fire back on the Purgatory had made his own blue blood run cold. She'd stood and walked away as if nothing had happened, but that didn't change the way he felt. In the back of his mind he knew it wasn't a healthy military strategy. It created a weak link in their team's defenses if he concentrated more energy on protecting one specific person than the team overall, but he couldn't help it. Shifting his rifle as he stood, the air finally silent, he fell into step behind the object of his thoughts, watching her move cautiously through the ruins.

Shepard kept their banter to a minimum until they had more intel on their situation. They had no idea how many geth there were nor if using the comm would give away their position. She also did not want to potentially endanger any holed up Quarians with their radio chatter.

He found himself biting back amusing comments as they fought, definitely more accustomed to their usual light-hearted banter and quips during firefights.

Clearing their opposition and proceeding through the compound, they discovered traces of recent quarian occupation, crates and equipment, mostly destroyed lay strewn about, but no quarian bodies or living members apparent among the wreckage.

Flitting from shaded cover to the next, they moved through the ruins like shadows, the darkness granted them a reprieve from the scorching light. Shepard watched the geth dropship fly overhead and thinned her lips, glad she'd enforced comm silence. Any advantage over these damn synthetics was gladly taken.

Two more geth squads lay dead in their wake when Shepard approached a squawking comm on the ground, the dead Quarians all around betrayed the manner in which they fell.

Acquiring the comm and identifying herself, Shepard cooperated with the marine on the other end, following his instructions further into the ruins, they eliminated any geth resistance along the way. Apparently there was only the one drop ship of geth and the sun was preventing further off world communications. Until the geth left orbit they wouldn't be calling for help. This presented good and bad news depending on how well fortified that drop ship was.

With barely concealed suspicion, Garrus watched Miranda from his peripheral. The young woman obviously did not like being used as the commander's bait. The entire mission the two squad members to the sentinel had posed as distractions while the she around to the side and removed the geth's advantageous cover, leaving their enemy open to attack from two sides, either forcing them into the line of fire or into the damaging light of the sun. Shepard had quickly determined that as bad as the sun was for their own shields it was just as damaging to the synthetic beings, her keen observation skills picked up on their electrical failure in the brutal sunlight. This was a major advantage as long as they weren't the ones caught in the sun. Concealing a sneer at her inability to see the larger picture the way his commander did, he double checked his rifle and prepared to watch Shepard's back.

Charges set they blasted their way through the fallen rubble, Shepard and her team waded through to the hiding position of Kal'Reegar, the marine in charge of protecting Tali. Diplomacy won over and Shepard convinced the injured quarian to stay concealed and cover their backs in case of reinforcements. Shepard didn't like the options presented before her, but she could see no better alternative. Unusual situations called for unique tactics.

The geth platoon didn't bother the squad of three terribly much, but the Geth Colossus was laying down too much heavy fire in addition to huddling out of visual and repairing itself. Using Garrus and Miranda once again as distractions down the middle, Shepard took the high, sun baked road to an advantageous position above the Colossus. She kneeled by the corner of the railing, eyeing appraisingly the long, open stretch of baked balcony before her. She stayed low, sprinting a short distance until she could take cover behind some crates, her shield alarms blared, taken down twice as fast due to incoming fire. Cursing repeatedly under her breath she used her small square of shade to repair her shields as she whittled down her opposition. Too bad geth were virtually immune to the mentally crippling effects reave had on the organic nervous system.

The geth below were easy for the two squad members to dispatch before resuming their role as bait while the commander positioned herself. Garrus kept a close eye on her from his peripheral, making sure not to make it obvious where he was looking while harrying the Colossus. Shepard was dangerously exposed to heavy fire and sunlight, her armor was going to sustain heavy damage from overexposure, he could already tell.

Shepard thinned her lips in a concentrated line. The geth Colossus was under too much protective cover to assault from the ground, requiring her to move to a small shaded corner of the upper walkway, well above the synthetic tank. Unfortunately, once in position, the heavy unit realized the danger of her new position. Garrus watched, his heart in his throat as Shepard ducked just in time to avoid a huge missile, the projectile instead slamming into her cover, knocking the spectre forward a slight bit, showering her with debris, an irritated look on her pale features.

"Hey," Garrus paused as his rifle discharged, tearing a hole through a geth, "remember on Feros, when we made it into the Exogeni Base?"

"Mhm…" she was obviously concentrating.

"Remember when you opened the security panel on that storage room and came face to face with a huddled geth colossus?" Shepard snorted.

"Yea."

"I don't think I've laughed so hard as I did watching you yelp and lob that augmented grenade at it, knocking us all flat with the blast," Shepard snorted louder. "Then I look up to find you face down, covering your head with your hands only to ask, 'is it dead?'" Shepard outright barked with laughter.

"You'll do well to keep that story to yourself," she threatened, chuckling.

"I only wish I'd had a camera ready!"

"And I'm glad you didn't! The destruction of the good reputation the only human spectre has would be assured if that ever got out," Garrus laughed.

Garrus and Miranda did what they could from their limited visibility on the ground, letting the Commander take the heat now while they unloaded on the huge, armored unit. Utilizing the armor piercing qualities of her heavy pistol and tech overload, Shepard and the Colossus traded pot shots until the spectre's patience won out; interrupting the repairs of the geth heavy unit, she whittled away at its armor until it shorted out, the thick, baked air going silent.

Miranda stood from her hiding spot with an annoyed glare that the commander ignored in favor of grabbing up any medical supplies around and making her way quickly to where Tali was holed up. Garrus fell into step behind the Cerberus agent, studying her back in barely suppressed displeasure.

Shepard came along side Kal'Reegar, but didn't offer a hand to help him, knowing the proud marine would rather only ask for help if he absolutely needed it.

"That was impressive, maam," he complimented her, but she waved him off.

"Anything is worth making sure Tali is safe," she said somberly and he nodded in agreement.

"Although, I have to say it's not difficult to imagine you lobbing a grenade at a colossus and diving for cover," she face palmed and he chuckled, "you seem the type very capable of impromptu and spur of the moment tactics. A rare quality on the battlefield these days," he grunted slightly and she held a hand to his shoulder to steady him before they continued to find Tali.

Shepard smiled a little at the tender way Tali spoke to the battle hardened quarian marine, the idea flitting through her head that they'd make a great couple. Tali transferred the important information from her omni-tool to Kal'Reegar's and gave him specific instructions on where to take the information and to make sure it got to certain individuals. She also made him promise to take it easy until he healed causing the Commander to grin at her over his shoulder, the young quarian sputtered a little, Shepard positive she was blushing furiously behind her face mask.

Careful instructions for landing the shuttle were given and received and within a few minutes the team was preparing to leave the irksome planet behind them. A soft touch caught her arm and the commander turned to find Tali at her elbow, the turian not far behind her. Slowing her pace, letting Miranda get ahead of them and out of earshot, Tali glanced at the retreating woman then at her friend.

"I'm so glad you came, Shepard. I'm not sure I'd have made it out of there if not for you," Shepard shrugged with a smile and Tali shook her head. "No seriously, thank you." Looking over her shoulder she cocked her head at the taller man. "And you, you weren't with Shepard last time I saw her, where have you been?" Garrus scratched the back of his head with a chuckle.

"Nice to see you too, Tali," the quarian sighed exasperatedly and Shepard grinned. "I've been on Omega messing around with mercenaries. Shepard found me just recently and I re-joined the team. Damn glad I have too… she found me in a similar situation to yours," Shepard smiled.

"And damn glad to have you both back, especially with Cerberus on the loose. We'll see how tightly I have to hold their leash," the young quarian sputtered slightly as the spectre laughed heartily, swinging herself easily into the shuttle, followed closely by Garrus and a bemused Tali.

=/=

Something was … felt… wrong. Looking up from the galaxy map the commander surveyed the bridge, her eyes scouring the deck for anything amiss before resting on Navigator Pressley. Wait… Pressley? What was going on? Pressley looked at the spectre as she straightened, putting a hand to her forehead.

"Everything alright, Commander?" he questioned, letting the data-pad he was holding rest on the console. Pressley was dead. This Normandy didn't exist anymore… at least not in the intact form it was in now.

"No, I'm fine, Pressley. I have something to attend to below deck, you have the bridge," stepping down she strode to the stairs ignoring the guard saluting her as she sidled past the door. With a trembling hand she activated the elevator control.

_Was it all a dream? Have I still not defeated Saren? Is Ash…_ Shaking her head she stepped onto the newly arrived elevator and punched the console, enduring the agonizing wait as the elevator crawled in its descent.

A hiss and hydraulic whine heralded her arrival on the armory deck. Strangely, the whole deck was deserted, save for the work light above Ashley's station. Furtively Shepard leaned around the support beam and stopped, unable to believe her eyes. There was Gunnery Chief Williams, at her station, cleaning rifles as usual.

In an awestruck daze, the commander made her way across the deck, slowly approaching the young woman's work bench.

"I know what you're thinking, Commander," Williams said without looking up, examining a rifle barrel closely, cleaning it carefully before setting it down and leaning on the bench, her head still bowed, hiding her features. "It's not your fault," she said quietly. Shepard was at a loss.

"You can't prepare for every contingency, for every angle. Hell battlefields change at a moment's notice. Not even you can have a plan for _every_ possibility," Ashley looked up, her deep brown eyes soft as she regarded her friend and superior.

"Ash… I…" the gunnery chief held up a hand.

"You don't need to say anything, skipper. I'm a Williams," she smiled and looked up at the wall, a dreamy look crossing her features. "Grandpa's proud of me, they all are," her empathic eyes returned to Shepard. "I died for as worthy a cause there could possibly be," Selydra shook her head.

"I should have tried harder, there had to be some other way…" Ashley shook her own head in return.

"We both know that's not true, Shepard. There was no coming out of there for one of us. I'm glad you picked Alenko. Even if you two don't turn out… there's still the Williams name. I've cleared it! There's no shame for it now. A Williams died protecting the galaxy from the greatest threat it's seen in centuries! Council be damned, I don't care if they can't be bothered to remember… but I know you do… and I know the team does," Selydra stared.

"Shepard… I got what I wanted. I'm with God now," ever the religious, "and it's time for you to let go of that guilt…" the world faded away abruptly leaving Shepard dazed and off balance.

Everything came into sharp focus around her, the facility on Virmire was virtually destroyed, debris and chunks of building were scattered all over. Uncertainly she began poking through the remnants of the buildings her mind still reflecting on William's words. Sifting through the rubble, a sudden urge made Shepard turn to a specific pile, her movements becoming frantic as she removed the debris, her breathing becoming ragged.

After lifting a particularly heavy beam she dropped to her knees. There was Williams, covered in blood and virtually crushed, her armor in shattered pieces around her.

"Ash…" Shepard choked out, delicately scooping up the broken soldier, holding her close to her chest….

Shepard shot straight up, her breathing ragged, sweat matting her brow. Running a disturbed hand across her forehead she looked around in a panic. Her captain's quarters… on the Normandy SR2, with her new team… it had been a dream.

Breathing beginning to slow to normal, Shepard bent her legs and rested her elbows on them, looking at her hands, remembering the blood on them from Ashley in her dream.

"Ash's body was incinerated on Virmire… there _was _nothing to recover… and you know that…" she scolded herself. Tenderly she reached over and picked up a singed holo-pad from her night stand, re-reading for the hundredth time Pressley's last entry. Her whole chest constricted, the guilt threatened to swallow her whole. They all died and she gets to live with it. Thanks for the kick in the teeth, Cerberus.

In a frustrated huff she kicked the covers to the bottom of the bed and rose to prepare for her workout. Who gave a damn that it was 3am and she'd only slept two hours. With sleep like that, she didn't need it.


	5. Sidonis and Revenge

Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews and the favorites! They helped me get this chapter out faster. In response to a review, I do have to apologize, though I think it might be too late to go back and fix it, I'm not sure how much of the story it will effect. I didn't realize Bioware had put turian's "sweating" into the game, I obviously missed Sidonis' remark about it though I'm on my fourth playthrough .. I had been going on a view of turian anatomy based off what I knew of reptilian biology, in living creatures the crocodilian species. Therefore, you know what assumptions do... I assumed they didn't sweat. Then again, it's my understanding from what I've read other places that turians give birth to live young, so they're obviously a mammilian mix and therefore, all bets are off XD. I'll try to be more careful with my research, but definitely, keep pointing stuff out as you see it!

In response to another review, I will try to stick to scenes not from the game, but like in this following chapter, I do end up repeating some but with a different spin. I apologize for how much "game dialog" there is in this chapter. In following chapters, I will endeavor to avoid it.

Little bit longer chapter for you all this time.

Enjoy!

(Chapter Edited)

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Striding across the CIC deck of the Normandy, Shepard was reviewing reports on her holo-pad before heading down to engineering to check on her newest quarian addition when her administrative assistant, Kelly stopped her.

"Commander, a moment please?" the Yeoman was a constant source of extremely valuable information and irritation for Shepard. The most irritating part for her was how young and naive she seemed. Her appearance did much to encourage this, but her attitude was so annoyingly… loving. Somehow she was sure she would have found the good even in Saren and made Shepard feel guilty for killing him. Yes, Shepard knew there was good in him, which was why he took his own life before Sovereign took control of his implants, but Kelly had a way of making you feel bad about your opinion.

"As you know it's my job to keep an eye on the mental state of every crew member and I thought you should know…" Shepard gave her an expression that clearly stated she needed to get to the point. "Oh, um, what I mean to say is Garrus has been acting rather agitated lately and he seems like he wants to speak with you about something, but has been hesitant to do so with how busy you've been…" without letting the girl finish the commander gave her a curt nod and a mumbled thanks before continuing on her way, leaving the perplexed woman behind.

Truth be told she _had_ noticed Garrus' change in behavior but hadn't had a moment to speak with her friend alone. Reflecting back and suppressing a sigh it seemed to her that in the search for Saren she'd had more free time while aboard the original Normandy. Then again, they believed the Normandy to be the best piece of technology in space, boy were they wrong.

The growling in her empty stomach was staunchly ignored as she passed the mess hall on the way to the forward battery, her purposeful strides covering the distance quickly. Activating the door she stowed her holo-pad and research materials under her arm and tucked her stray hairs back behind her ear, the door sliding open to admit her. The light from the main platform revealed no sign of the turian. Swiveling her head around a bit, she failed to determine his whereabouts, though the spectre was sure he was here somewhere.

"Back here, Shepard," Garrus' voice sounded a distance away and muffled, slightly elevated from her current position. Dropping her armful on the nearby container, she easily levered herself up to the catwalk and made her way in the direction his voice emanated from. Finally she spotted his boot covered talon feet sticking out from under a console and squatted down to peer in the narrow space.

"What's up, Shepard?" his voice was slightly muffled with a strange echo tonality to it as the sound waves bounced off the metallic paneling. Kneeling down, she studied the part of him that was visible, his tinkering and the occasional electrical buzz carrying to her keen hearing.

"I could ask you the same thing," she responded, rewarded with his hands stilling on his equipment.

"And what do you mean by that?" she could hear the slight trepidation in his voice, though she was sure he tried hard to hide it. Wordlessly she placed the tool she knew he was requesting in his outstretched hand, watching it disappear into the shadows of his hidey hole as he resumed working, staring for a moment unabashedly, taking the rare opportunity to really study his physiology while he wasn't capable of catching her. In a strictly… scientific way, she reassured herself, appreciatively considering the very masculine expanse of his chest.

"Come on, Garrus. I know you well enough to know when you've been in an overly quiet and pensive mood," his hands stilled again. "Tell me what's up and why you haven't talked to me sooner," she gazed at his armored chest, waiting for a response, wishing now that she could see his eyes.

"You've been busy, Shepard. You have a lot on your plate right now, too much for me to burden you more by adding to it," she interrupted him by slamming her fist against the console above the niche.

"Dammnit, Garrus! You're one of very few people I actually consider a friend. I need you to work with me here, if something's bothering you, it becomes my problem too. Don't make me beat it out of you," Garrus cocked his head, a mischievous gleam borne of delicious daydreams involving her attempting to beat _anything_ out of him reflecting in his grey blue eyes, unbeknownst to her, before becoming serious again. Sliding carefully out of his workplace, he propped himself up in a sitting position and considered the woman before him.

"Garrus, I need you here," she tapped her temple with one slender finger. "I can't have you burdened by something when I need you at my back most," she shook her head, "not when we have as much riding on this as we do. The entire crew needs us at our best," Garrus shook his head in defeat, his mandibles twitching nervously.

"You really know how to make a guy feel guilty for trying to help, don't you, Shepard?" he smiled and she crossed her arms over her chest.

"You weren't helping, you were moping, now spill it," he chuckled. Growing serious, he stared off to the side, considering his words. Shepard waited patiently.

"Remember when I first boarded you wheedled out of me information regarding my time on Omega and my now currently deceased anti-mercenary squad?" Shepard snorted.

"I hardly consider being a true friend and making conversation about your past 'wheedling' but go on," the turian chuckled lightly in response before returning to his somber tone.

"I believe I mentioned the fact that my team was sold out but I didn't reveal a lot about the situation," Garrus stood and moved to the railing, leaning on it and staring out at the interior of the Normandy's main cannon. "It was my fault," he shook his head, "my team was betrayed by one of our own and I never saw it coming." Narrowing his eyes ahead of him, he stared intently at something that wasn't there.

"His name was Sidonis, his machinations resulted in the summary death of the entire squad, he and I are the only living members now, and he must pay for that. One of the mercenaries must have gotten to him," he shook his head again. "He approached me with something he claimed he needed my help with. When I arrived at the designated spot, there was no one there. It was a setup.

"By the time I got back, it was too late. My team had been ambushed. They put up a good fight, all but two were dead and they didn't last long. By the time I knew to look for Sidonis, he was long gone from Omega. His trail grew cold there and I was never able to pick up a lead… until now," he turned his burning gaze to the young woman.

"He has to pay for the crimes he's committed, Shepard," the spectre regarded him carefully, her friend was very apparently consumed with rage and a desire for revenge for his fallen comrades. Shepard stood and moved to his side, leaning on the railing thoughtfully, his piercing eyes following her movement. The young turian desperately tried to keep the nervous knots in his stomach from showing in his features. He knew Shepard's regard for revenge and her penchant for more paragon solutions.

"Is there no possibility that Sidonis is a victim here? That he was set up?" Garrus shook his head with certainty.

"No, my information in that regard is solid. Sidonis set the squad up and moved me out of the way purposefully. He then emptied his accounts and booked passage off Omega. Their hope in eliminating my squad without me present was to weaken my position. Without backup, I'd be easier to take out, or so they thought," Shepard smirked. Lowering her head, the spectre grew serious again as she studied the space before her, weighing her decision carefully.

"Garrus," outwardly he was calm, the deep tension in his chest nearly suffocating the agent as he awaited her response, "obviously this is extremely important. Truth be told, I have no idea how this will turn out," she paused and looked at him, her piercing gaze seemingly searching his soul, her expression more than words telling him she may not agree with his decision, "but I promise we'll find him and resolve the unrest in your mind." The turian nodded at the shorter woman, it was a better answer than he'd been hoping for.

Shepard looked up at him, her hands on the rail, an unreadable expression in her deep blue eyes before turning, leaping gracefully off the catwalk to the floor, blending with the shadows as she disappeared toward the exit to the battery.

Garrus stared into the empty void for an eternity of moments before turning his attention to the tool still in his talons. A fierce expression crossed his features as he gripped it tightly. Sidonis would not get away from him this time…

=/=

Striding from the comm briefing room, Selydra nearly collided with Garrus, giving the turian a sidelong glance as she clipped her sentry visor into place, the blue display flashed a few times as it powered on and adjusted to its user.

"Quick stop on our way into the Citadel," the taller man cocked his head in question, "apparently we have a new recruit to check out and possibly pick up," he nodded in acquiescence and the pair made their way to the airlock, Tali joined her friends as they waited for the Normandy to finish docking procedures, the familiar hissing and hydraulic sounds heralding the de-pressurization of the ship.

Keeping up easily with the Commander's long strides, he couldn't help the customary warmth in his chest watching her move with such grace and confidence, her casual tread efficiently veiling her true motives and intentions. Impatience and apprehension warred within him as he stood post beside a tranquil Tali, completely undisturbed by his inner turmoil. Sidonis was nearby, he knew it. He could feel it. The back of his mind caught the general tide of the conversation Shepard was apparently having with an advertising monitor. Kasumi Goto, an extremely talented thief was evidently joining the squad under the conditions that the commander help her with something of importance. _Wonderful_, he thought, _just something else Shepard needs to complicate her mission. Not that I'm helping any_. The thought did nothing to assuage his nerves, his urges to twitch violently and hurt something becoming overpowering. Turians were not known for being calm, gentle creatures.

When he thought the conversation would never end he heard Shepard tell the woman that they would meet her on board at a later time before turning, looking behind him and above his head, an unreadable expression on her pale features. Glancing in the direction her gaze was fixed, he saw nothing, but couldn't shake the feeling that the thief had possibly been up there.

Finally Shepard motioned for her two partners to follow her and she made her way into the bustling crowds of the Citadel.

A few aggressive inquiries at C-Sec later found them making tracks down to the Zakera Ward. The information they'd been given detailed a contact by the name of 'Fade,' a nuisance to the C-Sec operatives who was adept at making people disappear, right under the noses of the Citadel Security. This person apparently knew C-Sec inside and out.

Upon meeting with and successive threatening of the timid volus that showed up claiming to be Fade, they discovered that it was in fact Harkin, an ex-C-Sec officer who was responsible for the title and the disappearance of Sidonis.

Back in the vehicle, Shepard steered their small unit toward the factory district, following the directions the volus had given. Unnoticed she sent a few worried glances in the turian's direction. He'd acted no more aggressively than normal during the conversation with the fake Fade, but the commander had noticed the subtle difference in his attitude and the seething anger below the surface. This worried her, though she thinned her lips and simply steered the small transport vehicle in the direction of their next source of information.

Landing in a cleared spot outside the factory district, Shepard swung herself out of the vehicle, Garrus and Tali close behind, their heads swiveling to take in threats and possible cover. Selydra Shepard caught sight of their target in the nearby doorway, talking to some Blue Suns guards in hushed tones.

"Harkin!" the formerly deceased spectre pulled her pistol and 'Fade's' head snapped up.

"Shepard?" he gaped for a moment before regaining his senses, "Well don't stand there! Stop them! Stop them!" the trio dove for cover as the Blue Suns mercenaries snapped into action, the cowardly Harkin retreating through the closing doors and into the industrial factory beyond.

"Run all you want, Harkin! We'll find you!" Garrus taunted him as he snapped his sniper rifle into place. Flashing biotic, Tali's talented tech skills and Garrus' well placed shots cleared opposition easily. The trio progressed past the fallen guards and shattered synthetic sentinels, traversing deeper into the facility, warnings from EDI occasionally chiming in regarding various overhead hazards. Moving swiftly and silently, the group slunk from cover to cover, decimating anything that moved in their path, stopping only to apply new heat sinks before pressing on.

Selydra dove behind cover as a new wave of mercenaries and their mechanized counterparts appeared from behind industrial barrels ahead of them. Powering up a reave skill, the commander blasted the Blue Suns hired gun in the center of their formation, effectively spreading the neurological biotic effect to his comrades, Garrus and the spectre gladly picked them off as they spasmed in pain, Tali's drone efficiently disabling their mechs. Commander Shepard stepped lightly over the trail of bodies they were leaving in their wake, approaching what appeared to be a command room door, checking for hostiles before motioning her squad mates in closer.

Opening a blast shield door over the paneled window that overlooked half the factory, Garrus studied the ground ahead of them while Shepard sifted through the materials left in the makeshift type office for relevant information.

"So, Harkin's finally gone completely bad…" the commander's voice commented dryly.

"He was always a pain in the ass, but I'm in no mood for his games," came the overly aggressive reply from the turian. "If he doesn't cooperate I'll beat him within an inch of his life," the intensity tangibly rolling off the agent in waves concerned Shepard.

"You seem to be getting tense, Garrus," she commented, throwing him a slightly worried glance that only his shoulder received.

"Harkin may know why Sidonis wanted to disappear. If so, he knows why we're here and I don't want him tipping Sidonis off," Selydra could only nod in agreement to his assessment of the situation. She couldn't seem to assuage the cold knot of worry that gripped her stomach. She wanted so badly to help him with this burning hatred inside him, but she couldn't seem to get through to him. For now it was enough to watch his back and hopefully stop him from doing something he might regret. As she scanned the factory ahead of them, her sharp blue eyes taking in the terrain and creating a strategy some movement to the left caught her eye and the pair immediately ducked.

"Did you see that?" he asked as he glanced cautiously over the window sill.

"I saw something," the woman replied, convinced it was some kind of mech, but unsure exactly what it was she saw moving up ahead.

Selydra left Garrus to sift through some documents, joining Tali by the door. She pointedly tapped her comm 'off' in the process watching as Tali mirrored her action.

"How is he?" Tali asked concern filled her voice.

"Obsessed," Shepard sighed. "The most we can do is follow him and try to prevent him from doing something he might regret," Tali nodded. Shepard went to reactivate the comm, but a soft hand on her arm stopped her.

"Shepard, be careful. You might not be able to stop him… I don't think Garrus would every do anything to hurt you but…" Shepard sighed.

"Yea, this is a lot more intense than the situation with Dr. Heart," Tali nodded.

"Just… you can't fix everything," Tali regarded her sadly, knowing how much this was worrying Shepard. Garrus had always meant a lot to her. Shepard smiled.

"Don't worry, Tali…" Garrus came striding up, clearly irritated.

"Did you two turn your comms off? I've been trying to talk to you both for a few minutes now…" he eyed the women warily. "What were you two talking about…?" Tali crossed her arms over her chest in indignation.

"If we'd wanted you to hear it we'd have left the comm on!" Shepard snorted. Leave it to Tali. Garrus gave them both an annoyed look. Briefly they discussed a plan of attack, knowing Harkin was cornered and the bastard knew it. They were walking into an ambush and the sooner they found out what it was, the sooner they could adapt to the situation. Grabbing up all the available supplies and possible intelligence in the office area, the team moved out, resuming their silent vigil as they ascended the platforms toward their goal of the observation room Harkin was holed up in.

The commander cast continual assessing glances Garrus' way, observing the turian, his intense eyes always straight ahead of him, scanning for signs of their forthcoming ambush. Maybe Tali was right. Maybe this was something she couldn't fix. But she was damn well going to try. She didn't want to lose him to something like this without fighting. He was practically obsessed with thoughts of revenge. With a twinge of realization, the commander knew she could hardly fault him for it. In his position, had the team been hers and with those close to her dead… she could barely consider the possibility. The murderous rage she would commit to would leave his pale in comparison. For all rights and reason, he was relatively calm considering the situation.

Garrus was a particularly justice driven creature, although his methods tended toward the brutal and violent side. This didn't bother the spectre in the least, in fact it was a quality she carefully cultivated in him during their conversations. No, she didn't want him blowing off the head of whatever moron had decided to piss him off, but that drive, that aggression was a valuable tool. When they'd met up with Dr. Saleon, renamed Dr. Heart she had convinced him to stay his hand, knowing the salarian would force them to kill him anyways, just to teach him that there was more than one way to skin a salarian so to speak. This way left him blameless. Dr. Saleon had brought it on himself.

Turians were by nature overly aggressive, she wanted that aggression channeled into a positive force of destructive power. Having him cage that aggression would only frustrate him and one day result in a murderous break down. Using it as a tool was much more effective. For the most part she had succeeded, though seeing him now, she was definitely worried.

The opposition they met on their way through the factory was pitiful at best, the leader of the Normandy's team's mind cycling through possibilities, realizing these were simply a distraction, something to slow them down for a few moments. But what for?

Momentarily Harkin's voice came over the loud speakers taunting them as the sound of whirring engines sounded overhead.

"Incoming heavy mechs!" Garrus shouted as he took cover behind a few industrial containers, their quarian friend doing the same. The commander vaulted herself to a higher platform, holstering her tempest and pulling out the collector heavy rifle Mordin had reclaimed and researched for her. The buzzing sound of the mech's heavy shields powering up resounded through the high ceiling of the building, her peripheral vision picked up Garrus' movement as he positioned himself on top of a stack of crates, making for himself a nicely covered sniper nest of sorts. Tali took cover below, knowing the mechs would have to approach her position to get a clean shot at her, the deck provided cover from their heavy cannons and she prepared to attempt to overload or hack their control system, her omni tool reflected hazy orange light off her suit mask. The commander gracefully leapt atop a crate stacked behind a few solid looking crates and prepared to assault the two advancing heavily armored mechs.

A clicking and hissing sound rewarded the spectre as she powered up her tech shield, the familiar orange holographic armor blinked into existence around her N7 armor. Flicking on the collector rifle, the human woman took up a supported kneeling stance behind her cover and popped up, she blasted the mech with the steady yellowish stream of energy, and immediately attracting both synthetic's attention. Bullets whizzed by her and slammed into her armor, heavy hissing and buzzing assaulting her ears, her visor updated her status.

The spectre remained in place as long as her shields held, not only keeping their attention off her squad mates so they could hammer their steadily approaching opponents allowing them to work their tech skills, but also damaging their shields with the brutal beam of power. A warning flashed across her vision just moments before her shields dropped completely and a rocket blast slammed into her cover, the woman knocked back unexpectedly, a bullet caught her in the shoulder as she went down, the suit alarm in her ear faded away as her hearing was obliterated by white noise. The updates to her visor blurred as she hit the deck. She noted with strange clarity that her own breathing and heartbeat seemed so loud, almost reverberating through her skull.

Through the ringing in her ears and cotton ball like effect on her hearing Garrus called her name, sounding terribly far away, though she ignored him. She pulled herself to a sitting position with her back against the crates and waited for her med-gel to kick in and her suit to regenerate her lost shields, sound slowly returned to normal, the high frequency ringing in her ears began fading away. The clanking of the mechs grew steadily louder as her suit hummed, replenishing her damaged shields and she knew she would need to change cover soon….very soon.

Two more rocket blasts slammed into the crates she was using as defense, the disheartening sound of cracking and splintering reached her ears. Leaping down and storming to the metal support wall, she was relieved to feel the med-gel kicked in fully and her shoulder regained full range of motion. Diving over the wall she hit the ground hard, rolling against the cold steel. Peering over the wall and assessing the situation, the spectre covered her eyes as rockets slammed into her former cover, shattering the crates and showering her with debris. Using the metal wall as a stabilizer the commander lay into the nearest mech again, rewarded finally with the sound of shields overloading and shutting down.

A triumphant squeal sounded down and to her left as Tali gained control of the shield-less mech, turning the monstrosity on its partner and hammered it with rockets as it continued searching for its primary target. Realizing the danger too late, the mech switched priority and opened fire on its companion damaging its armor badly. Shepard and Garrus took the opportunity to overload their heat sinks into the enemy mech, eventually decimating that one's shields as well.

"Bosh'tet!" Shepard's head snapped up at the sudden outburst from the quarian, realizing her control over the mech had been lost. Shepard couldn't help her smile at the comical image Tali made, throwing her hands up in alarm as the previously hacked mech turned on her, before she dove to the deck behind cover, her hands covering her head as machinegun fire pinged all around where she'd just been. Both heavy machinery resumed their attacks on the trio, the commander and Garrus diving for cover as rockets slammed into the empty spaces they'd momentarily vacated. A combat drone appeared where Tali had been, quickly closing the space and attacking the huge synthetics.

"Go for the optics, Chiktikka! Go for the optics!" Shepard smiled as she resumed assaulting the closest mech with her collector particle beam, the antics of the quarian brightening her outlook.

The rewarding sound of the first mech shorting out filled the air with mechanical clicks, static and buzzing sounds accompanied by the unanimous cry of victory from the trio. With the first one down, it wasn't difficult to skirt around the room, avoiding missile attacks and returning fire, armor failed then mechanical shorted, the heavy walking armament slowed to a halt, an electrical buzz then a short explosion, showering the room with flaming debris.

Taking no chances, the team moved under cover toward their goal, picking their way silently along, watching the observatory window for signs of movement. Harkin had nowhere to go, they knew it, he knew it too.

Ascending to the room, Selydra stepped in the door, Harkin backed away from his console as Shepard trained her sights on him.

"You were close, but not close enou-… ugh!" turning to the opposite exit he ran straight into a very tall, very angry turian. Garrus pistol whipped his face before slamming him back against the console.

"So…'Fade,' couldn't make yourself disappear, huh?"

"Cmon, Garrus… we can work this out. Whadda ya need?" Harkin asked slyly, smiling in a manner that spoke of former camaraderie. Garrus stepped away, giving the man space.

"I'm looking for someone," Harkin rubbed his neck, getting the kinks out from being manhandled and watched the turian warily.

"Well I guess we both have something the other one wants," he replied confidently, working out his shoulders. Garrus turned, getting in the now nervous man's face, slamming him in the stomach with his fist, dropping the former C-Sec agent to all fours. Shepard watched with a smirk, not at all phased by Garrus' aggressive interrogation. Her clear blue eyes flickered to the turian's face, soaking in his predatory appearance.

"That had to hurt, maybe you should just tell us what we want to know," she said smoothly, the cornered man regained his composure and staggered to his feet, his arm cradling his stomach. Inwardly, Shepard's stomach churned, she hoped this grilling didn't slide downhill, as she knew they could with an overly emotional interrogator.

"Maybe… I still haven't heard what you want," he gritted out between clenched teeth.

"You helped a friend of mine disappear," Garrus stated calmly, "I need to find him," his voice took on a darker tone and Harkin looked taken aback.

"I might need…" he panted slightly, "a little more information than that," he rubbed his neck nervously.

"His name is Sidonis. Turian who came from-"

"I know who he is and I'm not telling you squat," Harkin interrupted him, getting in the turian's face.

"Harkin, this doesn't have to be hard," Shepard interjected, bored annoyance clearly reverberating through her voice, smirking slightly as she knew more pain was in store for the ignorant human, her bravado winning out through her thorough enjoyment of watching Garrus work.

"Screw you, I don't give out client information, it's bad for business," he glared at the formerly deceased Shepard, bitterness clearly etched on his features. She shrugged, quirking a small smile as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Screw you? I can deal with that. Not willing to leer at me and call me 'princess' after hearing what I'm capable of, huh?" Garrus glanced at her, his eyes wide and she smiled. "I guess saving the Citadel and coming back from the dead has that effect," Harkin glanced away, clearly angered and embarrassed that she'd brought it up.

"You called Commander Shepard 'Princess?'" Harkin started to respond but in one swift movement Garrus slammed 'Fade' in the gut again, dropping the man to the floor before stepping on his neck and towering over the man.

"You know what else is bad for business other than insulting Shepard? A broken neck," Garrus tone took on a more sinister hue as the human struggled futilely against the greater strength of the turian above him.

"All right! All right!" he protested in a haggard voice, "Get off me!" Garrus relinquished his weight and the man pushed his foot away, slowly dragging himself to a sitting position. Shepard touched Garrus' elbow and the agent glanced over his shoulder at the one woman he respected above anyone else, taking note of the concerned look on her face, a twinge of regret tinting his thoughts. Though she was supportive of his aggression she didn't totally approve of his current methods.

"Terminus really changed you, huh, Garrus?" he asked in a hoarse voice, looking up slightly.

"No, but… Sidonis… opened my eyes," he replied cryptically, "now arrange a meeting," he said forcefully, nodding his head to the communications console. Harkin rose to his feet and glanced at it nervously, spurred into action by another nod from Garrus.

"I'm going," he moved uncertainly to the console and punched up the correct settings, contacted Sidonis and arranged a meeting. While he was distracted Garrus examined his assault rifle, glancing up at Shepard who moved to his elbow, a small smile played at her features.

"He called you 'Princess,' huh?" Garrus gave her a curious expression and she grinned.

"Yea, I was actually looking for you, met Harkin at the club. This was before I was a spectre and all that. He thought I was his 'entertainment' in a military get up for the evening," she rolled her eyes.

"And he still lives?" Garrus gave her an incredulous look to which she chuckled quietly. Never would she cease to be an enigma to him. Her apparent grasp of the fine line between aggressive interrogation and outright brutality was a constant source of confusion for the perturbed turian. She seemed to instinctually know when that line had been crossed. The communication ended and the former 'Fade' relayed the place and time of the meeting.

Shepard crossed her arms and smirked at the shady dealer, amused by the black eye already forming on his pathetic face. Garrus turned back to the spineless man, hiding his inward grin at Shepard's apparent enjoyment of Harkin's appearance.

"So… if our business is done I'm gonna get going…" he said nonchalantly and turned away. Garrus grabbed him and he yelped, pulling him in close so he was right in his face, all thoughts of Shepard and their banter completely forgotten, the pain and guilt on his mind from his team's deaths surfaced with a vengeance, filling his every thought.

"I don't think so," he growled out, "you're a criminal now, Harkin," he sneered at the shorter man his eyes grew impossibly cold.

"So, what? You're just gonna kill me?" he responded nervously. "That's not your style, Garrus," he said, gaining confidence.

"Kill you? No," he shot back, he let the man go and took a step back, "but I don't mind slowing you down," aiming his assault rifle, he prepared to shoot the man in the leg when Shepard's strong hand on his arm stopped him his bullet went high and into the ceiling.

"You don't need to shoot him," the angry look he leveled her with surprised her slightly though she continued, "he won't be able to hide from C-Sec now," he pulled away angrily; she relinquished her hold on his elbow, his blue eyes simmered with barely suppressed fury. Stepping back and away to give the overreacting turian space she waited, unintimidated as he turned to Harkin. Garrus may be much larger than her, every part of his body screamed predator, but she was no prey, especially not his. Even if it came down to it, she was convinced she could take him down, though it would break her heart.

Never in her whole career would she want that to happen. Garrus was a good man deep inside and she knew he would regret his actions today if she let him flow on the raging torrent of his emotions. Her team, Garrus, Tali, even her crew, they meant everything to her. To lose all that, she couldn't imagine; she just had to be there for him in this time of turmoil and rage. To stamp down when he crossed the line and be the solid shoulder to his topsy-turvy world.

"I guess it's your lucky day," Garrus said staring the man down.

"Yea, I hope we can do this again real soon," the human responded sarcastically, a smug smile on his bruised face. The turian jerked forward suddenly, slamming his forehead into the shorter man's head, and dropped him to the ground like a brick, watching a moment as he cried out in pain and gripped his head.

With that the trio turned and strode from the command center intent on keeping their appointment. Garrus glanced at Shepard walking ahead of him.

"I didn't shoot him," he said glibly, Shepard smiled and shook her head.

=/=

The vehicle touched down, Shepard at the wheel, the spectre glanced at the stone silent turian.

"I don't understand how you can let him go like that, he's a criminal," Garrus ground out, his mandibles twitched in agitation.

"Garrus," she said with a firmness he hadn't heard in her voice in a long time, "you're confusing the issue. Harkin didn't kill your team, but you seem hell bent on destroying anyone who's come into contact with Sidonis as if they were directly responsible," Garrus stared straight ahead of himself. He would have blushed furiously in anger if it was possible for a turian to do so, but instead he simply sat there like a statue. He knew she was right, but that only made him angrier.

"Garrus," she said quietly, unsure if her words were getting through, not even his eyes had shifted, absolutely no sign of his inward thoughts showed, "I know you're furious. Hell… if it were my team… if it had happened to all of you…The guilt of being the one to survive. Of letting them all down…" her throat constricted causing her to pause, unable to continue and she turned to look out the window, completely missing the response she'd been craving from the turian, Garrus' eyes finally alighted on her, slight shock and disbelief in their depths before he looked forward again. "I understand what you're going through," she finally managed to say quietly, "but killing Sidonis isn't going to bring your team back. Killing him isn't the answer. He deserves to answer for his crimes. You'd give him death? A reprieve from the fate he deserves?" Shepard looked at him, the turian's eyes simmered with hate.

"Once you meet up with him, I'll line up the shot and take it. Keep him talking until I'm able to do so," he shoved the door open, his resolve unbelievably shaken. How was she able to do this to him? He'd been so sure that killing Sidonis was the right thing. What was _needed_. He had to get away from Shepard before she completely convinced him. Taking a steadying breath he picked a spot and got in the prone, set up his rifle and sighted down Shepard's back as she approached the traitor.

He took long steadying breaths, his trigger finger left the safety of the outer trigger guard and set himself up for his shot when Shepard unexpectedly stepped right in his field of vision, her dark hair completely blocked his view of his target.

"Shepard, move… you're blocking my shot," he said in irritation. There was no way she didn't know she was blocking him. She had more battlefield presence than that. He heard her quietly speak to Sidonis, explaining that Garrus was lined up to shoot him and that he wasn't to move unless he wanted to die, that she was all there was between the turian and certain death.

"DAMNIT SHEPARD!" he growled into the comm. Shepard ignored him in favor of talking to the guilt ridden turian. Shepard could see the lines of exhaustion and pain clearly etched on features so like the friend she so desperately wanted to protect from himself. Over the comm Garrus heard Sidonis claim that he wanted Garrus to kill him, that his life was over anyways. Shepard carefully kept her head between Garrus and Sidonis as he walked to the railing, the infuriating woman knew exactly where to stand. In disbelief Garrus heard him tell Shepard that he couldn't sleep or eat, the faces of those he betrayed haunted his every waking and sleeping moment.

Shepard turned and looked straight into his scope, her beseeching blue eyes stared straight into his soul though he knew she couldn't actually see him. What caused his chest to clench however was the understanding he saw there, in her eyes. She understood what he was going through. The thought of killing him now made him feel like he would be shooting her in a way. She understood his punishment.

"Look at him, Garrus. He's paying for his crime in more ways than you could possibly exact with a single bullet," he knew it was true. Looking at the turian, bent in mental defeat, his shot would only end the torture… torture he knew she shared. His jaw clenched painfully.

"Fine, tell him to get out of my sight before I change my mind," he said, lowering his rifle and standing, his eyes downcast on the floor. Vaguely he heard Shepard relay the message and Sidonis swear he'd make it up to the team, though Garrus didn't care anymore. Once again that damn woman had turned his whole mental health upside down. She'd be the death of him, he was sure of it.

Another uncomfortably silent transport ride took them back to the station where the Normandy was docked. Tali exited the vehicle and Garrus hung behind as Shepard stepped out.

"I know you want to talk about this, but I don't… not yet," he said forcefully.

"I know it didn't go the way you planned, but I think it's for the best," she responded and he turned his back to her, looking out the window over the Citadel arms below.

"I'm not so sure," he replied.

"Give it time," she said empathetically.

"Yea… maybe that'll be enough," he knew he was probably out of line, but he couldn't help himself. "Was it enough for you?" her strained smile was his only reply for a few long pregnant moments. "I want to know that I did the right thing, not just for me, for my men. They deserve to be avenged. But when Sidonis was in my sights, I just couldn't do it," he said his face shadowed, but his grief showed through plainly.

"The lines between good and evil blur when we're looking at people we know," her expression turned soft and caring, his heart melted as the soft glow of the nearby lamps illuminated her understanding face. He gazed at her, his astonishment renewed at her supportive presence. Part of him felt a fool, his own guilt over eleven deaths pale in comparison to the loss she'd endured, yet here she was helping him. Not only did she continue to put one foot in front of the other, but she exuded confidence and stability that made him wonder what was going on underneath. Did she ever doubt herself? Was there a raging, weeping, broken girl under that Commander shell? Or was she as strong as she always seemed? Probably not so dramatic as that… but he knew she hurt. Just like with Sidonis he would catch it unguarded in her eyes, fleeting moments of pain and sorrow reflected in her pure blue eyes.

Memories of a confrontation surfaced, the haggard and broken young man, Toombs had the chance for revenge. He had already killed the other scientists, but Shepard showed up before he could do in the last one. They were responsible for the death of her team and his torture, yet she'd not enacted revenge, not in the manner Toombs wanted. She talked him down, despite the desire he knew was in her to see the scientist dead too.

"Yea, there was still good in him, I could see it," he said confidently, gaining surety of his decision by the moment. "So much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with grey," he shook his head looking down.

"You've got to go with your instincts," she replied, trying to give him the boost he needed, desiring with all her heart to see the aggressive spark back in his eyes.

"My instincts," he replied with a smirk, "are what got me into this mess," he admitted, not at all minding their current closeness. With a smile and an unexpected slap to the stomach of his armor she clapped her other gloved hand on his bicep.

"Don't be too hard on yourself," she said smiling; her impish attitude immediately brightened him up.

"Thanks, Shepard… for everything," she grinned and herded him off toward the Normandy.


	6. Loyalty and Conversations with Tali

Author's Note: I apologize for the recap nature of this chapter and how short it is. Not sure why I wrote it... but I'm posting it regardless. I may edit later. Because of the short nature of this chapter I will be posting another in a day or so. I'm partway finished already so it shouldn't be long. Please remember to review, it helps motivate me. :)

(Chapter Edited)

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Shepard felt like she should be earning air miles for how much they'd tracked back and forth across the Milky Way. One by one her squad members had stepped forward, each with an issue on their mind preventing them from performing their best. This somewhat baffled the commander, she couldn't remember anything bothering her to the extent that she was incapable of performing in a mission to her utmost, but there it was. Garrus had needed help and she'd taken the time to help him, she could do no less for every member on her team. Murphy's Law dictated that every single one had problems simultaneously. The mission was too important to have distractions. One by one they'd sought out and fixed each one.

Miranda's sister needed to be moved out of reach of her father's evil clutches. A sister, Shepard found out to her irritation, that Miranda had kidnapped as a baby, after leading her to believe it was her _twin_. The alternate choice however wasn't an option. At least the young woman was in a normal family and was cared for. Jacob needed to locate his father, originally thought to be deceased, now discovered to be a tyrant on a remote planet, lording his power over his helpless crew. Mordin's assistant had been 'kidnapped' on Tuchanka and was supposedly being forced to concoct a cure for the genophage. This was not the case, the young man was there of his own volition. Mordin revoked his scientific resources and sent the lad on his way, despite his earlier wishes to simply kill the young salarian. Research on a cure for the genophage was now stored in the databanks of the Normandy under heavy encryption.

Grunt underwent the rite of passage and became an Urdnot under the leadership of her old squad member, Wrex who was now clan leader. This had posed a few problems for the spectre. The rite of passage had ended in a battle with a thresher maw. Garrus' head shot up in concern for her when the creature had surfaced, the grim lines of Shepard's features the only sign of her inner turmoil. Thresher maws had been what had killed her team on Akuze. To Garrus' astonishment and immediate pleasure, he discovered when Shepard was battling something internally it made her more outwardly aggressive. Grunt had bellowed in approval as they utterly obliterated the burrowing, enormous worm, his new krantt was the first since Wrex had undergone the rite to kill a thresher maw. The entire team found it amusing and baited Shepard mercilessly when the mating requests had come across for Grunt and one for herself.

The assassin they'd picked up along the way, Thane needed to find his son who was attempting to follow in his father's footsteps. A disease caused by environment was slowly killing Thane and parental feelings necessitated he mend the broken relationship with his wayward offspring. They managed to stop the young Drell from killing his target and convinced him to make reparations with his only living parent. Upon returning to the Normandy, Shepard had sought out the assassin, finding him sequestered as usual in the life support portion of the ship. Briefly she'd shaken her head at the fact that none of her crew could just be normal and take up residence with the rest of the crew. They all had to pick weird random places to sleep… like the darkest portion of engineering where Jack skulked. It had taken some wheedling and pulling teeth, but Shepard finally managed to get Thane to open up about his family, his wife and his son. Continued visits led to him revealing portions of his past, hits he'd done and the revenge he'd exacted.

Tali's mission was by far the lengthiest and most aggravating as well as the most depressing. Tali was accused of treason, found out her father actually was a traitor as well as found him dead. The young quarian had been contacted by the admiralty board in reference to accusations against her. The trial went badly and resulted in Shepard, Garrus and Tali boarding her father's ship in an attempt to find out why the geth had taken it over and what had transpired. The information they uncovered was damning. Tali's father and his team had reanimated pieces Tali had sent over the years, testing weapons and armor against the live geth. The experiments, though done with good intent, went horribly wrong and the entire crew was decimated.

Back on the flotilla, Shepard had stormed back into the assembly, pointed an accusing finger at every Quarian admiral there and threw in their faces the information she'd garnered considering their political motives centered around the second Quarian Geth war that hadn't started yet. Long lists of everything Tali had done for the Migrant Fleet were used to completely unground any accusations they might have had, though Shepard kept the information of Tali's father's experiments a secret and left his good name intact.

There was still so much left to do and it seemed their time was quickly running out.

=/=

Time spent in space travel between systems would have seemed like time wasted for the human spectre… that is if she wasn't spending so much time counseling each member of her crew and team. Yeoman Chambers' job apparently only went as far as informing the commander that problems existed, not in assisting with a solution. _Commander Shepard, first human spectre and psychotherapist_, the woman scoffed in her head, exiting the crew deck for the umpteenth time just this space flight.

A thought slowed her steps as she approached the elevator. Changing course, she took the service routes down another level to engineering. Bounding effortlessly down and exiting the tunnel, Shepard greeted Engineers Donnelly and Daniels, trading a few light hearted comments before inquiring on the location of Tali, Shepard noted she wasn't at the other engineering console.

Leaping lightly up two catwalks, Shepard was rewarded by the sounds of tinkering and Tali's soft humming. The quarian was apparently enjoying her stay on the new Normandy.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," the commander smiled as the humming stopped and Tali looked up.

"Oh! Shepard! Not at all, I was just re-calibrating a few matrices. I think I can squeeze a little more power reduction out of these modules. Nothing too important," the young quarian set down her tools and motioned for Shepard to make herself comfortable on the catwalk.

"I never got to properly thank you for helping me and saving my father's reputation," she charged right in as the human settled herself, one leg bent with her forearm resting on it. "Though he and I weren't terribly close, I still felt I owed it to him to keep his experiments secret," she looked away, her reflective mask hiding her expression of shame and aversion. "I did not agree with what he did… but I understand his motives," Shepard nodded, her heart reaching out to the hurting younger woman.

"I just wish… I had known, or that there had been some way to stop him…" she looked up, longing clearly reverberating through her voice. Shepard shook her head.

"If you had known you would definitely have been branded a traitor. Your father did what he thought was best for you. Although he paid the price of his misguided judgment with his life, nothing would have changed that if you had known," Tali nodded reluctantly.

"Regardless," Shepard leaned back, looking above her at the luminescent drive core, "I'm glad to have you back and cleared of those charges. I dearly missed having you along on my team," she glanced at her friend with a smile.

"I'm so happy to be back. And although that trial is something I never wish to live through again, it was definitely fun watching you shout down the admiralty board. That's something I never thought I'd see in my entire life," she chuckled. "Life on the flotilla returned to boring once I got back from my Pilgrimage. There was oh so much to do, but I missed the constant action, the quiet of Normandy's engines. I do miss the Normandy's old crew especially Engineer Adams…and I don't fully trust this Cerberus bunch… but it's very obvious who's in charge," the tool in her hand clicked as she absently played with it. Shepard nodded.

"Cerberus may have brought me back, but I feel no obligation to them, it was their choice. They had prior knowledge regarding what kind of person I am and my history. I continue to deal with them because we share a common goal. The funds and equipment are nice, but my loyalty lies with those I trust," her blue eyes simmered with determination and Tali nodded.

"So tell me, Tali, what have you been up to for these past two years? Any love interest back home?" the younger woman snorted.

"Oh keelah no," she chuckled. "Being on your crew was a blessing and a curse. Men either were too intimidated by me or were too shy to talk to me. Plus I've been much too busy on the engineering team for the flotilla to even think about things like that," she glanced at Shepard.

"Not even Kal'Reegar? He seemed like quite a nice guy," Shepard looked at her slyly and Tali sputtered a little.

"I …l don't know what you mean, he was a marine in charge of my safety, I never really thought about him that way…" she made another flustered sound before changing the subject, Shepard chuckled slightly and let her drop it.

"The admiralty board decided since I'd been part of such an important mission that I was perfect for some of their tougher assignments," she rolled her head back in exasperation. "Which was how I landed smack dab on a planet with a disintegrating sun and geth running amok," Shepard chuckled.

"A walk in the park after fighting a Sovereign controlled Saren," Tali shook her head with a snicker.

"Indeed, that was scary," she sighed, "at least I got to see the Citadel before most of it was destroyed. It's weird to think that it was Reaper technology and not Prothean after all these years…" the spectre nodded her agreement. The Quarian gave her a sidelong look hidden by her suit mask. "What about you?" Shepard quirked a questioning eyebrow. "I heard about… Horizon…" she hesitated and Shepard stared off into space.

"Nothing much to talk about," Tali shook her head.

"Don't give me that, Shepard. You and I both know that's not true," the human sighed.

"Ok yea, Alenko was there… and no, it didn't go well," she sighed again. "Truth be told… it was over before then," Tali quirked her head, asking the silent question. "Kaidan… and I, yea we loved each other, I guess… but I think I knew all along that we weren't meant to be… I don't know how to explain it," she tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear in frustration then leaned forward, her elbows on her knees.

"Kaidan was… a nice guy and I liked him a lot, hell, I still like him a lot. But we never really clicked the way I was expecting we would. In down time, outside of combat and our missions, things became… strained. As if we didn't know what to say to one another if I wasn't issuing orders. I don't know, it was strange," Tali nodded.

"You know, I never really knew why you two got together. I figured it was the stress of the mission and that you both needed companionship, but it never seemed like the right fit for either of you, especially you," Shepard glanced at her friend.

"You know, Tali… I don't know if there _is_ someone out there for me…" the quarian smiled under her suit mask, she wanted so badly to say _Garrus_ but knowing it wasn't her place. Tali's disappointment had been keen when she saw it was Alenko that Shepard had chosen and not Garrus, though she knew Shepard had known Alenko a lot longer. It was obvious she and the turian had major chemistry and Shepard was always seeking him out to talk to. Hell, she spent more time with him working on the Mako than she did with Kaidan at all.

Deep down though, Tali knew though that to say anything would only result in Shepard possibly pushing Garrus away instead of evolving into a deeper relationship. It needed to happen on its own between the two of them.

"Oh, I'm sure there is, Shepard. Just keep your mind open, he could be closer than you think…" the human looked at her Quarian friend, one eyebrow raised but Tali just laughed. "The galaxy's a big place huh?" Shepard shook her head with a smile.

"Just this one? Or are you including the other tens of thousands out there?" Tali laughed. The two women cleaned up her tools, continuing to chat as they carried the equipment down and stowed it.


	7. Planetary Scans & Bar Conversations

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and been patient. I promised another chapter and here it is.

(Chapter Edited)

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They had been going non-stop for a while now, the whole team was beat. Shepard sat back from the planetary scanner and pinched the bridge of her nose, willing her eyes to stop aching. She could practically feel the piercing blue eyes of the turian on the back of her head before he even spoke.

"Shepard, you need to take a break and rest," he chided her, "the collectors may be coming, but no time soon, the planets will still be there," looming over her he watched her rub her eyes again.

"Yes, doctor," Shepard quipped back somewhat tiredly, annoyance lacing her words.

"I agree wholeheartedly," the commander rolled her eyes as Dr. Chakwas conveniently strolled past at that moment, studying her data pad. "The rest of the crew passed their physical scans just fine, Commander. You however are showing adverse signs of fatigue and need more rest," the spectre gave the doctor's retreating back an uncharacteristically childish glower as she disappeared around the corner. Garrus crossed his arms over his considerable chest.

"I'll get another crew member to take over your scan progress so we don't fall behind schedule, but I insist you at least get a little rest," she hadn't moved yet.

"Garrus this is important, if we don't have the materials to upgrade our gear and the Normandy then we might not make it out of this alive..." the turian stilled her wrists on the controls and forcefully though gently pulled her from the chair. Selydra couldn't help the small flutter her heart did at the sudden contact, his exceedingly warm hands encircled her smaller wrists. Raising her eyes to his face she willed her racing heartbeat to calm, hoping her face remained carefully neutral.

"I understand that, Shepard, but we also won't survive if you're sleep deprived. Go get some rest..." the raised eyebrow she gave him was telling, "please?" The woman sighed and dropped her hands, the turian relinquishing his hold on her reluctantly. She however didn't say anything about actually going and resting. Walking right past the elevator she disappeared around the corner and into the armory section of the ship muttering the whole way about how maybe Pressley was right all along about turians taking over command of the ship.

Turning back to the console he waved over a technician and had them pick up where the commander had left off. She was right, if they didn't have the materials then all the research they were doing would be for nothing, however Shepard didn't have to carry that burden on her shoulders all alone. She had crew for a reason. He had already talked her down from a security shift at the comm during the night hours.

The stubborn woman had been in the process of making sure she was on the shift schedule when he'd intervened. She really didn't need all this extra pressure in addition to leading the squad every time they made a landing to help out whatever poor bastard currently needed their assistance. It was bad enough they were saving the galaxy again, now whenever any colony or planet heard of her arrival they had some reason to acquire the services of the only human spectre. Shaking his head silently at her, he realized her heart was too big for the small frame that held it. She couldn't help herself and it was a point of frustration and endearment for him. Selfishly he wanted all that attention focused on him instead, an irrational feeling of jealousy bubbled up in him when he saw her helping other people.

After a while of overseeing things in the CIC he decided to hunt down the obviously still up and around fearless leader of the Normandy crew. Moving through the armory he discovered only Jacob cleaning the weapons and prepping the upgrades to be attached to their armaments. No Shepard though. Passing through he checked the briefing room and found that to be empty.

The doors to the lab hissed open and at first nothing seemed out of place, Mordin was his usual hyper scientific self, pouring over samples and specimens, collecting data and muttering to himself. A decidedly feminine elbow poking out from behind some equipment caught his attention and he strode over to get a better look. Shaking his head with an amused smile he discovered a very sound asleep Shepard, a few data pads under her now limp hands, her head resting on her folded arm.

"Shepard insisted on helping compile data. Protested, said was not necessary. Persistent, said collectors weren't resting, she shouldn't either. Gave her something minor to sort through. Understood mental state was not up to par. Not long before data put her to sleep..." deep breath, "so to speak." Garrus nodded, removing the data pads gently from her hands and from underneath her so they wouldn't clatter to the ground. Scooping her up slowly so as not to disturb her, he settled the smaller woman in his arms and exited the lab; hitting the elevator as quickly as possible to avoid drawing unwanted attention to the pair. He was sure Shepard wouldn't appreciate being seen hauled around like a sack while she slept, let alone by him.

In the safety of the elevator he took a moment to glance down at his charge. Fascinated he realized he'd never seen her like this. Her face was completely smoothed; no lines of concentration, the odd incision marks from her miraculous foray back into life were almost completely faded, leaving just a peculiar white mark above her lip and over her eye starting at her eyebrow where her scars used to be. Her dark hair still pulled back in her customary bun, though messy right now, framed her face, making her already pale skin even paler in the harsh lights from the elevator.

The doors finally slid open and he carried her easily to the door of her quarters, not bothering to turn on the lights as he brought her over to the bed, he glanced around briefly as he crossed the room, his curiosity peaked since this was his first time in her quarters. He lowered her slowly and gently, her head nestled against his shoulder and laid her out on the bed, cupping the back of her head with a taloned hand and placing it on the pillow, the softness of her hair astounded him and he wished for once she didn't have it tied up so he could feel it better.

Figuring he'd already crossed every line there was without outright assaulting her, he went ahead and removed her boots carefully, setting each down on the floor next to the bed as quietly as he could. Grabbing a spare blanket from the closet he went to spread it over her when the sight before him hit him hard. She was lying on her back, one hand resting on her flat stomach, knees slightly bent to the side, her head turned a little away from him exposing her long, slender, pale neck... and he realized in that moment just how small she was.

The woman was an impenetrable fortress, a tower of strength to all those around her, the driving force behind what kept their feet moving when they were weary and the rallying cry behind their attacks. She was the sole survivor of Akuze, though no one ever even thought about how hard that might be on her. No one ever considered her through it all. Every waking thought of hers was trained on her squad members, their comfort, their survival. She was the first human spectre, how overwhelming must that pressure be? Yet never a word of complaint.

But how small she was! The bed practically dwarfed her. The catalyst for these thoughts must have been the fact that he realized he'd never seen her feet without boots, as odd a thought as that was, clad in just her issue black socks; they didn't seem like the feet that carried her to victory against Saren and Sovereign. Humans feet were so oddly shaped and hers seemed more petite than most. Their race was by nature more diminutive and… softer, though he preferred the word 'squishy' when dealing with irritating humans. Without her armor, her weapons and all her techs, she was just one small woman.

Her persona, her bravado, while awake, despite when she wore just her jumpsuit, boots and whatever utility tools she had on her, made up for the lack of size without her armor. Her perfect posture and squared shoulders were gone now, replaced by the sleeping woman before him.

The turian was startled from his contemplations when she stirred, her brow furrowed slightly, the hand at her side fisted lightly in the blanket beneath her, a small agitated noise escaped her. Spreading the blanket over her, he laid a soft hand on her forehead until she calmed, the lines leaving her face as she returned to tranquil sleep. He didn't question why his touch had soothed her, he was just grateful it did as he slipped almost silently from the room, taking a last look over his shoulder at the figure in the bed before letting the door close behind him. Using the access route instead of the elevator to avoid any resulting scuttlebutt, he contemplated his revelations.

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The overpowering music pulsing against her eardrums was enough to give anyone a headache. Selydra Shepard leaned against the bar, her chin in her palm, a decidedly bored look on her attractive face. An equally bored quarian stood beside her, though the human woman was unsure if Tali was just staring into space or actually watching the dancers on the stage. The two were currently waiting for Garrus who had decided it would be faster for him to go check at the kiosks for upgrades on his own and bade the two wait for him at the lower club of Omega.

The turian bartender nodded his head questioningly and the spectre waved him off. Her last experience with an Omega bartender had almost ended in a second trip to the afterlife …and she wasn't referring to the club. Fortunately charisma won out when confronting the batarian and a turian customer ended his string of human poisonings as well as his life.

Tali cocked her head to the side a little, indicating to the human that she was indeed watching the dancers above them on the stage. The slumped posture and relaxed attitude of her friend proclaimed her complete boredom and Selydra couldn't help but smile.

"Shepard," Tali began albeit a little uncertainly, "do you think it's a job requirement for them to be that flexible, or is it because they're asari? I mean... I don't see any dancers from the other races here..." Selydra chuckled as she considered the dancers contorting themselves for their patron's amusement.

"I'd imagine they don't have other races because asari are the most universally appealing. I don't know a single race that hasn't had members mate with an asari. But to touch on your main point..." she narrowed her intense blue eyes on the nearest dancer, observing her flexing and undulating movements before nodding partially to herself.

"I could do that," Tali looked at her friend stunned.

"You really think you could tie yourself in knots the way they do?" the quarian inquired disbelievingly of her commander and friend. Garrus picked that moment to approach the pair from the doorway behind them. Shrugging she continued to watch the dancer.

"Yea, not only could I imitate the positions she's using, but I could dance like that, easily," the spectre nodded and her female companion chuckled. "What?" the commander asked with a grin, "give me a few drinks and a tight outfit and I could probably make more money than that asari's ever dreamed of making," grinning in triumph at the sound of her friend's laughter she continued on. "Hell, I'm probably more flexible than she is," an odd feeling made the spectre look over her shoulder. Garrus stood dumbfounded behind the pair, his mouth slightly open, staring at the two women, his facial appendages slack for once creating a very comical appearance for the turian.

Tali's head dropped to the bartop, small snorts of laughter escaped the smaller, leaner woman. Selydra leaned against the bar, crossing her arms under her ample, armored bosom and quirked an eyebrow at the turian renegade.

"What?" she asked and resisted the urge to laugh as he visibly shook himself.

"I ... um... didn't mean to interrupt such a ... colorful conversation... should I go back to the kiosks and let you two continue?" Tali was all out laughing now, her breath came in small pants as she held her sides.

"No, by all means, Garrus, male input would make the subject matter that much more intriguing," Shepard grinned. "So what do you think?" she asked jutting a thumb behind her in the direction of the dancer they'd been considering, "do _you_ think you can out contort an asari?" The quarian's laughs had a wheezing quality to them.

"Stop, Shepard... I can't... stop... oh my sides..." her giggles continued and Shepard could swear if turians could blush he'd be bright red.

"Well," he began as he looked up at the asari, a contemplative look crossed his features, mandibles clicking absently, "no, no I'm afraid I'm not that flexible, plus the extra joints that face a different direction would prove a problem," he nodded sagely. "However... I'm sure I'd make a smash hit in spandex," his reward was a bark of laughter from Shepard as the woman dropped her head into her hand, her shoulders shaking, a new bout of giggles from their companion bubbling up. Face appendages twitching in triumph he placed his hands behind his back and watched his two friends, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

Selydra looked up at the turian, her cheeks glowing and her face full of vitality. With sparkling eyes she considered her friend. Truth be told, the two in presence were the only ones she considered to be 'friends.' They were more than comrades and squad mates. They were more than subordinates, though the spectre hardly considered the Normandy to have a real chain of command anymore.

No, the two present with her on Omega were the only two in the galaxy she truly thought of as friends. It was a gratifying feeling, knowing that the people worth fighting for were the very ones staring into the maw of hell at her side.


	8. Recruiting Samara and Scars

Author's Note: I'm sorry it's been so long since an update, I've been swamped at work. Yes, I kinda made some of the stuff in the second part up... about the scars. I had to develop some way that Shepard would still have scars because they are such a huge part of who she is. It seemed wrong for her not to have them, so I know scientifically it may not make sense for her to still have them, but I explained it in a way that I hope is satisfactory to most of my readers. I was very peeved in the character port from ME1 to 2 that Selydra no longer had the option of scars. :( And anyways, mass effect drive cores are made up too... just sayin . lol. Anyways I'll try to do another update soon, enjoy! Don't forget to review!

(Chapter Edited)

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Shepard moved through the crowds of Illium with the grace and finesse of a woman used to utilizing large groups of people to disappear or dodge fights. Illium was an asari trading city well outside of asari space. For this reason not all the rules of trade applied to this liberal and well traveled galactic stop. It was a place to find items not necessarily safe to sell in many other cities without having to deal with seedy ports such as Omega. Quite a bit safer as well, as long as you avoided signing any contracts or pissing anyone off.

Merchant traffic was typically heavy with asari and volus, but many other races went out of their way to do commerce at the conveniently unethical trading post. Shepard however passed right by all the trading stops and hawking merchants. Making inquiries, the commander motioned her team to follow her, ever the silent warrior, catching a taxi that took them to the lower levels. A certain detective was in a delicate situation and the spectre was in need of the woman's services who was causing the afore mentioned difficulties for the officer.

Asari Justicar were warriors of virtue. For the most part it was extremely rare to see one outside of asari space, mostly because they are revered by their own race, but many outside races typically don't have an understanding of how they work and why they operate the way they do. Justicars claim to be galactic white knights. If a wrong is done nearby, they are obligated to right it, no matter the cost. That being said, it came naturally that they are extraordinary warriors as well. Just what Shepard needed.

This one however, a typical asari by the name of Samara, was in the process of righting a wrong and the spectre knew she would need to assist in righting it to gain the woman's services.

After taking down and almost destroying an entire Eclipse sisters group located in the lower wards of Illium, Shepard received a paladin style oath from the Justicar, conversation with the galactic knight resulted in a disturbing revelation. Samara's daughters were afflicted with a rare genetic disorder that caused the death of anyone they mated with. Her oldest daughter, Morinth had become addicted to hunting and killing her prey, each murder making her stronger.

Samara had promised the hunt for her daughter could wait until after their mission, until she discovered Morinth was on Omega. She was too close to pass up the opportunity. Shepard readily agreed. Morinth needed to be stopped.

Shepard skipped up the steps to Aria's dais. Garrus didn't understand why Shepard continued to deal with the asari woman. She clearly had an agenda of her own. Aria stood facing the main floor as Shepard approached, stopping to stand next to her.

"'Knowledge is power,' a favor for a favor," Shepard said to her quietly as the asari's head tilted toward her, intrigued. Shepard pulled a data pad from her pack and handed it to her silently. Waiting as Aria perused the information on it, clearly becoming agitated that the mercenary gangs were plotting against her. She tucked it under her arm and nodded, saying something quietly to Shepard that he couldn't quite hear.

Shepard asked her about the Ardat-Yakshi and Aria told her what she knew, her disdain for the genetic defect clear. With a nod of thanks, Shepard turned to go, but then stopped, turning back slightly. Garrus couldn't hear what she said, but heard her mention that Aria had a daughter and something about Cerberus. Aria stiffened. Garrus tensed, his hand moved slowly toward his sidearm before Shepard said something to her, quietly and fiercely.

"I don't work for them. They work for _me._ And I will be the one to take the Illusive Man down," with that she stepped down from the dais, Aria still stood looking out at her domain.

The decision to use Shepard as bait had not been arrived upon lightly. However, drawing the dangerous criminal out of hiding was concluded to be worth risking an unarmed spectre for. Garrus did not agree.

With his heart in his throat he observed Shepard enter the VIP section of the club in Omega, her shipboard outfit clinging to her in all the right places and with the perfect air of 'I look good and I don't care' attitude. Lying low in the shadows, sniper rifle in hand, he followed her movements like a hawk through the digital scope, his heart pounding in his ears as his commander moved around the room, putting on a strong, confident display.

His own attraction to her skyrocketed when she dealt with the impudent man sneering at the asari dancer and he wasn't surprised it pushed the Ardat-Yakshi over the edge, the exotic appearing woman finally approaching the spectre. He had to question the intense feeling of jealousy that punched him in the stomach at the sight of Selydra sitting in the booth with the woman, flirtatious expressions flitting across her face as they literally seduced one another, the spectre using every ounce of her considerable sex appeal.

His heart dropped from his throat into his feet, lip reading Morinth as she invited the spectre back to her place for a little privacy. The mission was now completely in the hands of an unarmed woman and Samara. He watched Shepard stand, her hips swaying in a pronounced fashion, the asari's eyes eagerly eating up every motion of her lithe body. Shepard was a warrior in every way, an aura of danger and power encircling her like a set of armor. Snapping his digital scope shut he groaned slightly, his armor having become uncomfortably tight. Slinking away into the shadows he posted up outside the apartment in case he was needed, he hoped Shepard's incredible luck would continue to hold out.

The battle ended with the commander returning to the Normandy unharmed, Morinth dead and Samara's mission accomplished.

=/=

Twenty-one... twenty-two... twenty-three... Shepard was dangling several feet off the grated deck of the service tunnel she'd chosen to stop in, her hands firmly grasping an overhead pipe doing pull-ups. The turian naturally had prior knowledge of her location due to his surveillance system; however he'd seen something that he needed to view for himself in person.

Taking the service routes, he traversed the length of the ship, dropping down to the deck she was on fabricating an excuse as he went. Well... he already had an excuse, sort of, but instead of waiting til later when her uniform would hide all evidence, he made his way to her. Rounding the corner he slowed to a stop, taking note of the fact that her eyes didn't shift in his direction at all, though he knew she was aware of his presence. This gave him ample opportunity to watch her and see what had bothered him so much.

The commander had opted to work out in a black tank top today instead of her normal N7 shirt, both her arms fully exposed as well as much of her chest and a little of her back. Large, obvious scars ran up and down her arms as well as a very oddly shaped one that skirted her collarbones to run over her right shoulder and disappear the other way in the direction of her left armpit.

They were not new wounds by any stretch of the imagination, in fact they were odd in appearance, almost resembling discolored skin instead of scars but he couldn't help staring at the damaged tissue marring her otherwise pale, perfect skin. Did those happen on Akuze? If so, there was a lot left out of that report.

Dropping to the floor nimbly, the commander shook out her limbs, finally turning to face the turian, beginning to stretch out her considerably well developed though not overly muscular arms.

"Garrus."

"Shepard." They stared at each other for a moment. "I came to let you know that a stop at the Citadel is going to be needed. They informed me in engineering that a part they require is only found there as well as a few other supplies that have run low. Councilor Anderson also wants a word with you, not over a comm," Shepard nodded, her breath still slightly coming in puffs as she placed her hands on her hips.

"You didn't come all the way down here just to tell me that, did you, Garrus?" she asked quizzically, cocking her head to look at him. Suppressing a smile that he knew still reached his eyes; he should have known she was more intelligent than that.

"I just happened to notice you as you passed me at one point in your routine and felt the urge to see your arms up closer. I never realized you bore so many scars," ever blunt, he resisted the urge to kick himself. To his relief she chuckled.

"Happened to notice, huh? Well then I will happen to pretend I haven't seen any of your cameras around and we'll call it even," he cringed slightly and she laughed. "Yes, I have a lot of scars, but hey, I hear krogan women find them attractive," she goaded him and he scratched the back of his head embarrassedly.

"Ok I guess I deserve that one..." Shepard laughed again, warmth and amusement twinkling in her icy blue eyes.

"Most of them came from Akuze as I'm sure you've already figured. When my platoon was ambushed by those threshers, and there was more than one, our vehicles were very quickly destroyed. During the attack, I managed to scramble out of my unit's mobile shack before the acid destroyed the interior. Then the damn thing was almost dropped on top of me. Since there were no vehicles to run to and no immediate heavy amounts of firepower available, my team had to do what we could on foot. I wasn't able to kill either of those threshers, but I injured them badly enough that they eventually left me alone to retreat and get a stable communication off. They banged me around a good amount before that though.

"They kept diving in when they weren't spitting, trying to get me in their maw, and each time I dodged enough to avoid the teeth, but not enough to avoid getting hit. I'm sure you remember from encountering them various times in the Mako, they're extremely fast. Their heads sport some nasty spines and horns too," almost involuntarily her hand rose to the one across her collarbones, her long, thin though calloused fingers caressing the lighter skin, his eyes involuntarily following the movement, entranced. "I almost didn't survive myself, but I managed somehow," she shrugged, as if it wasn't a huge accomplishment. Turning she grabbed her sweatshirt.

"Some of the others have come from other various times I've been hit. Trust me, there's a lot more scars than what you can see right now," now that just led his thoughts down trails they really shouldn't go... but went anyways. "I'm not the legend everyone likes to think I am. I'm only human and I've made my share of mistakes and probably will continue to. Surviving Akuze was mostly dumb luck. I was in pretty critical condition for quite some time. They weren't sure I was going to survive. Can't say as much for the rest of my team," a frown creased her face, she seemed lost for a moment, reliving some of those moments. Garrus watched her face intently. "But my most crucial goal is to let myself take damage before I let anyone under my charge do so," she shook off the faraway look, the Commander mask falling back into place and he shook his head at the smaller woman, baffled by her selfless attitude.

"It strikes me as odd though," she turned at the sound of his voice and looked at him, "they completely reconstructed you as far as it sounds, how did the scar tissue remain if that's the case?" Shepard stared at the pipes on the wall for a moment, biting the inside of her mouth with her pearly white teeth.

"From what I can determine, they didn't 'regrow' me, there was no new tissue added. They took what was left of me and re-animated it. Re-hydrated dried tissue, jump-started my heart, sped up my natural healing processes using medical techniques, that kinda thing. In which case the scarred DNA is still there and intact... somewhat, just badly burnt up with new layers grown on top. Some scars on humans last an entire lifetime despite our skin constantly shedding and replenishing itself. I believe a scientist described it as 'cellular memory.'

"It's honestly surprising to me that my old scars remain and new ones haven't marred my entire physique. You'd think burning up in the atmosphere would leave some kinda mark," she gave a lopsided grin that was frankly a little creepy to him. "The funny part is I had a tattoo on my left shoulder blade before. It was the insignia of my unit destroyed on Akuze, but it's gone now..." the woman turned, displaying a shoulder very absent of any sign of a tattoo.

The thought hadn't occurred to him that she would remember those moments and possibly be able to relive that kind of pain and suffering. Seriously? What was this woman's mind made of that she was capable of coping with that kind of trauma without folding into a puddle of psycho-babble goop. He was sure he'd be said puddle of goop by now.

"Shepard," she cocked her head as his sudden serious tone of voice, "if you ever need to talk about anything, or just someone to vent to, I'm always in the forward battery or close by. You can feel free to stop by anytime you want or need," Shepard slapped his shoulder amicably.

"Aww, I think you miss our talks, Garrus," she gave him a grin that made his turian heart skip a beat, "either that or you miss my help with the technical stuff," she grinned again and he put up his hands.

"Hey! You decided to help me yourself, I had nothing to do with 'making' you do anything," the commander laughed and he decided he really liked that sound.

"Fine, fair enough, of course I'll drop by to talk to you more often, this ship has just grown in numbers recently it's hard to keep up with everyone," she nodded in the direction of the exit and they walked, talking companionably about the ship and the crew.

Waving a friendly hand as they parted ways at the elevator, Selydra stared hard at the cold metal before her, willing it to give her answers to the whirring questions in her mind. Garrus had sought her out for the specific reason of inquiring about her scars. It had never occurred to her that he hadn't seen them before. Did they bother him? Stepping lightly onto the elevator when the doors hissed open she maintained her neutral exterior until the doors closed behind her.

A frown marred her pale features as the elevator ascended. Did he find them unattractive? The question startled her. The sentinel's mind took a track she usually carefully avoided. The turian renegade couldn't possibly have feelings for her; he had to just be checking up on her out of concern for his friend. She did die on them once already after all. But why would he want to examine the evidence of old wounds long since healed? Looking down at her arm she considered the light colored, barely visible mark with a frown. Why did the thought that he might find them off-putting bother her so much? Shoving these distracting thoughts aside for another more peaceful time to consider them, the human woman got ready to clean up and start the day.


	9. Illium Hacking and Chlorine Fog

AN: My deepest apologies for the tardiness of this chapter. I work for a Gamestop as management and recently the huge franchise game Call of Duty came out and we've been swamped. That including prepping for Christmas and I've barely had two seconds to rub together to call my own. Enjoy the chapter, I will try to get another out as soon as possible. Remember to review, it helps!

(Chapter Edited)

=/=

A return trip to Illium found Shepard at a non-descript terminal in the asari city marketplace. The spectre had acquired information regarding Samara's location from an old friend and teammate, Liara T'soni, while on Illium last, though they'd not really had a moment to catch up or discuss current life issues. Apparently, Liara was an information broker now, on par with the Shadow Broker himself, though currently was hunting the man down. The Shadow Broker's agents left encoded messages in terminals on Illium, using random upload points to make the missives difficult to track. Liara had requested Shepard's help with locating and de-encrypting those messages.

Shepard stood at one such terminal, fingers like lightning on the holographic keys, deciphering and moving code as she desired. Garrus watched transfixed as Selydra's eyes almost vibrated, reading the code as quickly as she was, her impressively fast skills astounding even him. His own considerable tech skills, far outstripping her own, had led him to offer his services to Shepard when Liara had given the suggestion she'd needed help. The spectre had smiled and politely turned him down, the turian made silent bets with himself as to when she'd cave and let him take over hacking the terminals.

Once again she surprised the vigilante. Glancing over his shoulder he noticed Tali browsing a nearby kisk, their extensive array of tech equipment and omni-tools obviously having caught the enraptured quarian's attention. Movement in his peripheral had the taller man turning further, catching sight of Illium security guards making their way in the duo's direction.

"Uh-oh, Shepard… company," he muttered quietly. The concentrating woman simply nodded slightly, her fingers speeding along the controls, unbelievably, faster than they had been before. Garrus recognized she was finishing her last few lines of code that would allow her to upload the message, though the guards were swiftly gaining ground, he knew they'd end up interrupting her.

The protective turian stepped in front of Selydra, shielding her back from the view of the approaching guards, placing his hands behind his back, an amicable expression on his features, his imposing size causing the three men to come to an abrupt halt.

"Can I help you good gentlemen?" Garrus inquired, the guards looking at one another in confusion for a moment before the apparent leader of the group stepped forward.

"What is it you're doing with that console there?" the young man said, puffing out his chest and giving his best attempt at being authoritative, his attempts at looking around the more intimidating man squashed by Garrus stepping neatly in his way, continuing to block his view of Selydra. "It's strictly against Illium laws to tamper with any of the terminals." Garrus cocked his head slightly, taking in the very under-armed group before him, his own heavily armored and armed appearance, particularly his ornate and technical sniper rifle strapped to his shoulder, leaving them feeling severely under dressed.

Clearing his throat and squaring his shoulders the smaller man attempted to regain his authoritative tone.

"Sir I'm going to need to ask you to stand aside and let us speak to that woman tampering with the console," he said, a slight glower crossing his features. Garrus couldn't help but find the man's attempts to be intimidating cute.

"I'm afraid that's a very bad idea," Garrus said, shaking his head, closing his eyes and looking downcast.

"What? Why?" the young man said breaking composure.

"You see, if I do that, I risk angering her, and that's not something either of us wants. She can be really cranky sometimes," he said, leaning forward and dropping his voice slightly as if he were sharing confidential information, the young man leaned forward involuntarily, his glassy eyes wide. Selydra finished her hack and her eyes slid halfway closed in irritation. She swore she could feel a vein stand out on her forehead slightly.

"I don't care!" the man literally squeaked, visibly shaking himself and regaining his stubborn look. "What she's doing is illegal and I need her to cease her actions immediately!" he said, his youthful voice showing through plainly. Garrus bowed his head and held his palms out in defeat.

"As you wish, good sir. I give you the best of luck and offer my condolences…" the guard stared at him in confusion as the taller turian stepped to the side. The young man gulped slightly as he was now face to face with a very irritated woman, arms crossed over her chest, one dark eyebrow raised, her fierce blue eyes glimmering strongly even through her sentinel visor.

"And what _right_ do you claim to have to tell _me_ what to do," the woman ground out, the guard leader took a step back, his cohorts following suit, their eyes transfixed on the phenomenon before them.

"Ma-am, your actions are against Illium law and I'm going to have to ask you to accompany us into our custody," he began and gulped again when the woman's expression, if possible, soured more.

"You mean to tell me you have the jurisdiction to take a spectre into custody?" she practically hissed at him. He jerked slightly.

"S-spectre?" he stammered. Shepard only continued glaring at him. Garrus approached again, standing to the side of the group his face still a mask of amicable pleasure and his hands still clasped behind his back.

"Not only that, but the _only _human spectre and savior of the Citadel, the woman who defeated Saren and the geth," he added in nonchalantly, his tone conversational.

"In case you forgot, or were never taught, let me give you a refresher course…" Shepard glared ice at the trembling man, "spectres are free to come and go as they please, do what they want, when they want, where they want. This includes Illium and all its little terminals. Got it?" the guard leader nodded quickly and beat a hasty retreat, his guard friends trailing quickly behind him.

"How cute, tail between the legs and all," Garrus looked after the young man, a soft smile on his face. Shepard slammed his ribs hard with her fist, his startled grey-blue eyes snapped to look at her, his expression now one of surprise.

"Cranky, huh?" she glowered at him and he chuckled, his hand grasping her fist and holding it a moment, butterflies suddenly taking up residence in her stomach.

"Dear Commander, I wouldn't have it any other way. How terribly boring would life be if you were evenly tempered," he shook his head, a overly dramatically melodramatic look crossing his features, putting his other hand over his heart as if the very thought hurt him.

Shepard wrenched her hand away and punched him again, this time he all out laughed, drawing the wayward quarian's attention, Tali finally meandering over to join the pair.

"What did I miss?" Tali questioned, rubbing the back of her hooded mask.

"Nothing," Garrus chuckled, "A few guards just decided they wanted Shepard to stop what she was doing and come with them into custody," he said casually, examining his glove as if it were more interesting.

Tali sputtered slightly.

"Wh-what?" she said halfway giggling. "I take it that did not go over well," Shepard raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed. "Oh Shepard, you have a way with people," the spectre stared at her friend who just laughed again and followed as Shepard grouchily motioned for the pair to follow her to the next console.

Once again she turned down Garrus' offer of help, preferring to help Liara herself. Once the messages were complied Shepard stared at them on her omni-tool, a disconcerting feeling lodging itself in her stomach. Punching up her comm, already set to their designated channel she paged Liara.

"Do you have the data, Shepard?" Liara's softly intense voice came over the comm unit.

"Something's wrong, Liara. All of the contacts listed in these messages are male. The Observer is female. Who gave you this information," Garrus' head came up upon hearing Shepard's news, staring intently at the woman.

"Nyxeris gave me the information..." Liara began, "Nyxeris … gave me the information…" she said slower and with more conviction. "Nyxeris, can I see you in here a moment?" she called out into the background. "I'll call you back, Shepard," she said and hung up. The spectre shut off her comm in frustration, she and the team were on the other side of Illium, they'd never reach Liara's office in time to help.

Signaling her team she took off at a fast pace, passing through the crowds as quickly as possible in the direction of the asari information broker's office. After what seemed like an eternity, Shepard rounded the corner and stopped in her tracks. Illium security was carrying a body in a bag down the stairs to Liara's office, the broker herself standing at the top of the stairs, arms crossed, an unreadable expression on her blue features. Upon seeing the commander she motioned to her before stepping back into her office.

The two talked at length about Liara, the past, the present, everything that had gone on in the two years during Shepard's revival. After much convincing, Liara finally revealed that it was her who sold Shepard's body to Cerberus. Her hatred of the Shadow Broker stemmed from information she'd stumbled upon revealing his plan to sell Shepard's body to the Collectors. Garrus listened in awe and horror. Of the choices, Liara did what she thought was best, but the difficulty of the decision obviously had taken its toll on the weary asari.

Shepard had leaned forward, her elbows on her knees, seemingly unfazed by the news, convincing Liara that what she had done was the right thing. She was brought back to stop the Collectors and that's exactly what she was going to do. The relief on the asari's face made even Garrus' heart twinge. He had known of Liara's own desires for Shepard. Unlike him, she had once had the guts to ask and was gently rejected by the human woman. Shepard always took care of her regardless and made a special place for her on the team, ensuring she felt welcome, but that sting of rejection was still there.

Standing, Shepard let Liara know that should she need them, she knew where to find the Normandy. Liara nodded and repeated her overwhelming need to find the Shadow Broker and make him pay. For her. For Shepard. For her lost partner.

=/=

This fog was impossible. The beacons were helping, but not if you strayed too far away from them. Garrus and Samara trailed behind the commander, attempting to stay close enough to keep the woman in sight, but not so close as to complicate combat... which was happening far more often than made any of them comfortable. Vorcha, krogan and the indigenous klixens seemed to materialize right next to the squad in the thick chlorine fog generated by the nearby marshlands transforming every encounter into close quarters combat.

Shepard backed behind some cover to avoid the wildly erratic incoming fire from a few nearby krogan. Replacing her heat sink she realized they were slightly up a hill shooting down at her. Skirting the crates she was behind, she hugged the wall, most of the shots were fired straight down the pathway, leaving her to slide her way up the hill without being hit. As the fog cleared on each target she took them out in the head with a single shot before seeking her next target.

Suddenly a small lookout shack loomed into existence above her and she knew she was in trouble, there was no cover save for a small, waist high drop right below the lookout. Dashing for the only cover she saw, they rained fire down on her, a stray shot taking her in the right shoulder.

"Garrus! Samara!" static. Looking around her she realized with a sinking feeling that they weren't following her. She'd been separated from her squad in the fog. "Fuck."

"Commander!" Garrus yelled, partly into his comm and partly into the fog beyond, his helmet giving his voice a slight tech sound. Incoming fire pinged all around them.

"Vakarian, I would advise against yelling in such a manner again," the asari Justicar intoned in her usual peculiar voice. "We are simply giving the enemy a location to shoot at," the biotic slammed the spot she'd seen fire come from with a reave and was rewarded with screams of pain and agony. Garrus made a frustrated sound. His sniper rifle was useless in this fog. Carefully returning fire to the spot it seemed to originate from; he too was rewarded with the sound of success.

"Well we need to find her. Unfortunately neither of us saw which direction she went in during that firefight," the asari nodded.

"Perhaps if we retrace our steps to the place we last saw her and choose a different direction? She is obviously not here," Garrus nodded.

"It seems like the only plausible thing to do," they moved out quickly, heading back the direction they came.

There were only two vorcha left and Shepard was out of med-gel. Her right arm was back in working order, for now, but she knew it was going to cause her problems until she got back to the ship. Her armor was badly burnt from the stupid vorcha's inane ability to use their flame throwers to suicide bomb her, blowing up on their intended target. The last suicide bomber had caught her off guard, before her shields could regenerate and resulted in shrapnel damage to her thigh, tearing the suit and injuring her leg. The spectre had sealed off the damaged part of her armor, but she could feel the chlorine fog on her thigh and knew she was being poisoned by the second. The seal would keep it out of her main bloodstream for a while, but not indefinitely or she risked losing the limb. Relief flooded her as she heard her kinetic barrier finally snap into place around her she prepared her next assault. Disdainfully she examined her tech armor control. Damaged. Kinetic barrier would have to suffice.

Stepping from behind her cover she popped off the descending vorcha, effectively halting his suicide charge; however with her tech armor gone the fourth bullet to strike her kinetic barrier she took straight to her ribcage. Angrily popping the last vorcha in the head she placed a hand over the new wound. The thought flitted through her mind that she had to survive; she had to make sure Garrus was ok before such thoughts were thoroughly squashed. He was not her priority, preparing the whole team for their mission was.

Grabbing a spare, regular cloth from her pack she pulled open the armor and stuffed the cloth over the oozing wound, determined to keep the chlorine out and the blood at least inside her suit. With the suit closed she sealed it, praying to whatever was listening that she finished this mission before she passed out from blood loss and chlorine poisoning.

Wandering their way back they searched for what seemed like forever in the never ending fog before static finally sounded over their comms.

"Psshhhttzzzzz... Samara...pshtzzzz -yone hear me?" Touching his comm he looked around trying to catch sight of her.

"We hear you Shepard, we're on the path of the beacon, can you see it from where you are?" comm silence for a moment.

"Pssttzzz..-es, headed there now..ptzzzsht" From behind them on the path Shepard suddenly emerged, walking with a slight limp and looking like she was run over by something big.

"Shepard, everything ok?" Garrus asked alarmed but she brushed by him, determined not to let either squad member see how badly she was injured, the fog helped to hide most of it.

"I'm fine, let's get moving, I want to get off this infernal rock and away from this damn fog," the tone of her voice demanded he not argue and the two fell into step behind their leader. Selydra kept shifting, ensuring neither Garrus nor Samara saw her injuries, especially Garrus. The spectre had noticed his more protective attitude toward her and wouldn't allow that to interfere. She would press on until the mission was complete. Squashing thoughts before they started, she didn't dare think about or hope that such protective actions were tied to deeper feelings for her.

They decimated the rest of the resistance with a speed and ruthlessness that somewhat startled and put Garrus on edge, though the Justicar seemed not to notice anything. Having gathered the data they needed, Shepard pushed them hard and fast back through the fog to the shuttle landing site.

The whole trip back Garrus stared at his commander's back, partly so as not to get lost, but in other part because he knew something was very wrong. The woman was trying exceedingly hard to hide it, but he still detected a limp in her jogging gait, and the damage to her suit seemed too extensive for her to 'not' have suffered additional injury. Brownish red smeared spots of her suit, evidence that she'd bled some and had tried to hastily hide the evidence. As it was, the pot shots that had connected resulted in both Garrus and Samara's suits needing repair on the ship. If she'd run into any kind of resistance there was no way she'd come out unscathed.

Finally reaching the shuttle, Shepard stood as usual by the open door, letting her squad board first before turning herself to board, but something was terribly wrong. An acute wave of nausea descended on her, blurring her vision. Staggering she put out a hand to steady herself on the shuttle bulkhead. The med-gel effect was wearing off as well as the adrenaline rush. Not only could she not even lift her leg to climb into the shuttle, but it seemed about to collapse from underneath her at any moment. The entire world shifted beneath her feet and black hemmed the edges of her vision.

"Shepard!" Garrus leapt out of the shuttle and caught the woman as she collapsed, quickly boarding the small craft and sealing the airlocks. Selydra attempted to protest, but couldn't seem to get the words out, her whole body feeling like dead weight as the world spun, Garrus' strong arms around her. "Get us to the ship! Now!" he barked, "And make sure Dr. Chakwas is ready for an emergency patient!" the pilot began intoning into the comm as the shuttle's systems purged the air of toxins.

Finally having the chance to look her over, he nearly kicked himself at what he saw. The fog had blurred pretty much every detail, so it was very easy to miss not only just the normal buttons on his rifle, but the hole in the leg of her suit, over her ribcage and her right shoulder. It appeared she'd managed to seal the injury to her leg and shoulder, but upon further examination, the woman had stuffed a cloth into her armor where the hole to her abdomen was.

Once the shuttle pilot gave the 'all clear' and the toxins were purged he removed her helmet and was disturbed by what met his eyes. Shepard was much paler than normal, her face having taken on a sickly hue, sweat lined her brow and her eyes were slits, dark circles already forming under her normally bright eyes. A normal gunshot wound or three probably wouldn't have daunted her that much, however the heavily chlorine and moisture filled atmosphere had caused the open wounds to absorb the poison and let it run rampant in her bloodstream. He didn't have to feel her skin to know she was running a dangerously high temperature.

Pulling open her armor gently his heart dropped at the sight. The cloth she'd shoved into her uniform was completely drenched in her crimson colored blood. Whatever barrier against the toxin it had created before was gone the moment the blood had soaked through to the surface of the cloth, allowing entry via absorption through the moisture. Why hadn't she said anything? He almost laughed at himself. He knew her better than that. Even if he _had_found out ahead of time it wouldn't have stopped her. He just hoped she'd reach Chakwas in time.

"Move, move, move!" he practically ran the whole way to the med bay, Samara and a few others on the team trailing behind. Joker's voice sounded over the speakers.

"What happened? Is Shepard ok?" he ignored all of them. The med bay doors slid open and Chakwas had a bed prepared for her. Placing her down gently Chakwas got to work removing her armor as quickly and gently as she could. Garrus turned and growled almost ferally at the team members loitering in the door before closing it in their faces. He knew he had no right to do that, she was their leader too, but right now all she needed was the doctor and some space.

Shepard kept struggling to consciousness and moving around, part of her mind still down on the planet he was sure. Chakwas looked at him pleadingly.

"Garrus, I can't sedate her, it would be too dangerous with so much toxin in her system, please hold her down gently so I can work," Garrus gulped and obliged. Shepard was now stripped of even her under armor was lying in just a black bra and black panties on the table, her hands clawing at her side and anywhere else she usually stowed a gun, blood still running in rivulets down her crimson streaked skin. There was _a lot _of blood. Moving to her head he grasped both her wrists and pressed them gently to her sides, talking in a low voice into her ear, reassuring words pouring from his mouth. Letting her know she was home on the Normandy and safe, there wasn't a need to struggle.

At first she kicked and strained against him, the sudden lack of arm movement alarming her, Dr. Chakwas had to back away for a moment, one of the trays of medical equipment by the bedside upset by her wild movements, clanging loudly to the floor. Even feverish and delusional, the woman was still deadly. The muscles in her shoulders and arms bunched as she struggled against Garrus, her erratic movements almost knocked him over and loosed his hold on her. Persisting, he held her down though his heart ached to see the woman struggle so.

Eventually his soothing words seemed to have an impact and she calmed, her eyes rolled wildly back and forth under her eyelids, fluttering open occasionally as he continued talking even long after she'd calmed. Chakwas began working, swiftly grabbing tools and medication, beginning a purge of the spectre's system, hoping to flush the toxin from her blood stream before it caused too much damage. He had long lost track of the words he was saying, only that he kept them coming since they appeared to be producing the desired effect.

A strange look from Dr. Chakwas snapped him back into the moment and he realized he'd reverted to his native tongue. Turian words tumbled from him, but he continued even after this revelation. He had been telling her in turian how much she meant to him, that he didn't think he could deal with losing her again and that she needed to let Chakwas make her better so they could keep roaming the galaxy together.

Now that the danger seemed past his eyes strayed upward but immediately snapped back to her still pale face, if he were capable of blushing he would have been bright red. Chakwas was in the process of healing the bullet wound to her ribs where the damage extensive, it was taking some time. However it was her current state of undress that caused his embarrassment. Shepard looked amazing in a uniform, this however did not prepare him for seeing most of her skin bare to the world. Her body was extremely well formed, just the right amount of muscle definition on practically every part of her. He realized she hadn't been kidding about her scars, she had them everywhere.

It took a lot of effort to resist the urge to gently run his taloned finger down a particularly fascinating one that started just under her ribcage and followed the curve of her body around her right side. Briefly he wondered how long it had taken that particular injury to heal. Minus the scars though, she had a body that would make an asari dancer jealous. Even laying down she had just the right amount of cleavage and the curvaceousness of her hips was even enticing to him, despite the fact that turian females usually had much larger, more angular hips.

Moving his thoughts to safer ground he continued talking into her ear, now taken to just resting his hands on her good shoulder and the bicep of her injured arm.

Finally finished, Chakwas nodded to him and he released the now peacefully sleeping Shepard. Quickly she moped up the copious amounts of blood pooled on the table and coating a good portion of the spectre's skin. At her quiet request he moved the now clean woman to a medical bed, the doctor took a few thick blankets and spread them over her patient, intent on keeping her warm while the fever worked its way out of her system.

"Go get some rest Garrus, she'll be fine for now," the doctor reassured him when he gazed at the sleeping woman uncertainly. "Trust me, perhaps now she'll sleep like I'd been telling her to," Garrus chuckled despite himself.

"Notify me immediately if anything happens?" he asked and she nodded.

"Don't worry, you'll know shortly after she awakes too," Chakwas knew the unspoken chain of command on the ship made Garrus Shepard's second in command, so he had a right to be concerned, but she was also intelligent enough to know a smitten man when she saw one. Turning away to put her equipment up she couldn't help goading him a little. "By the way," she said stopping him in the doorway to look back at her, "she speaks the council race's languages fluently," if he could have Garrus would have paled slightly. Chakwas smiled at him and he nodded, a sinking feeling in his stomach as he headed to his home in the main battery.

=/=

Garrus was in the process of re-syncing the algorithms he'd inputted for the fifth time due to the fact that his mind kept wandering and he kept screwing it up, causing him to need to start all over again. He'd only managed an hour or two of sleep before his restlessness bade him get up and do _something_to keep his mind occupied, though that seemed to be a dismal failure as well. All his thoughts revolved around the woman in the med bay. With a groan he recalled some of the things he'd muttered in her ear while she was seemingly unconscious. All the things he'd said in his native language, thinking that even if she remembered she wouldn't have understood him. Well that was nullified the moment Chakwas revealed her little secret. Now he just had to pray she really was unconscious.

"Garrus," Chakwas' frustrated and somewhat alarmed voice came over the comm, "please come down to the med bay as soon as you can, I have a problem," Garrus didn't bother responding since the bay was a mere ten steps from the battery doors. Leaping from his perch at the open console he rushed to the med bay doors, afraid of what he might find there.

Stopping dead in the doorway, he felt the overpowering need to rub the back of his head in amusement and resisted the urge to laugh. Shepard was arguing rather vehemently with Chakwas, while hopping on one foot and pulling her underarmor on at the same time. Shepard's hair was down around her shoulders and partway down her back in rich, brown black waves, the brown only evidenced in the shine caused by the light and Garrus realized he'd never seen the commander's hair look like that before. He decided he rather liked it before shaking himself out of his stupor to consider the two women before him. Shepard and Chakwas were arguing so loudly with each other they failed to notice his entry. A chuckle escaped him as Chakwas stole her boots, one in each hand, her fists on her waist, chiding the commander while the other woman continued to hop on one foot, struggling to slide her bandaged leg into the stretchy pants. Finally succeeding and covering herself fully he decided to make himself known.

Clearing his throat loudly both women turned deadly glares his way and he wished he hadn't made any sound at all.

"Garrus will you please tell her to get back on the damn med bay bed and cooperate for once!"  
"Garrus! Tell her to calm down! I'm fine and I've got too much to do to lie about all day! I've already wasted too much valuable time!"  
"She won't listen to a thing I say! She needs time to heal and make sure the toxins left no adverse effects!"  
"I swear if she keeps me here any longer I'll tear this room apart!"  
"Garrus, she listens to you! Tell her to do what I say for once!"  
"Garrus if you don't help me convince her to let me go, I swear you're fired!"  
"Garrus! I need to run some tests on her, please help me with her! She's impossible!"  
"Garrus, I've saved your ass more than once! You owe me!"

Holding up his hands against the onslaught, his blue-grey eyes wide he backed toward the door slowly. Shepard took advantage of the doctor's momentary distraction to steal one of her boots back and put it on. Chakwas threw up her hands in defeat, tossing the other boot at the feet of her commander.

"I give up! If you die it's your own damn fault!" scowling the older woman turned to her desk and sat down with a huff while Shepard put on her other boot, raising an annoyed eyebrow at the doctor's back.

Squaring her shoulders and flipping her loose hair over her shoulder she all but stormed out of the med bay, stopping next to Garrus as she went.

"Much help you were," she huffed before passing him and leaving. Garrus sighed and left, heading back to his station.


	10. Making Amends and Evening Wear

Author's Note: My apologies for how long it took for this chapter. Christmas time is much too hectic... and I must admit I've had trouble motivating myself to write. The lack of reviews was slightly depressing. Feedback whether negative or positive always helps. I'm not sure I'll continue writing, I post mostly to receive pointers on how to improve. I can't improve without feedback. Let me know what you don't and do like. Review!

(Chapter Edited)

=/=

Shepard stepped off the Normandy and made a small internal sigh, though outwardly she was the same, stoic, statuesque, cold and determined commander she always appeared to be. Select few people, including one or two on her team saw the real woman beneath the stone exterior. Garrus was one of those few, Chakwas and Joker as well. Tali got to see the softer more womanly side of the spectre. Shepard understood however how important her image was to all of humanity.

As a result, the woman stepping off the most well known ship in the entire galaxy was the very picture of the hardened soldier, her facial scars belying many victorious conflicts, though no other sign of external weakness was to be had. There was no limp in her step or any limitation of movement as she made her way through security. They had registered her as 'alive' the last time she'd come through this way, so security let her pass without trouble. Steeling herself, the great Commander Shepard headed into the bustling crowds of the largest galactic city, home of the Council.

The spectre traveled alone for once, her squad and crew taking a very deserved though short shore leave to see friends, family and pick up any supplies they were lacking. The knowledge that Chakwas wasn't really mad at her didn't change the fact that she still felt bad for treating her the way she had so she came up with an idea to make slight amends.

Nodding as she passed Thane who was on his way to visit his son again she made her way to the upper floors of the Zakera Wards, making a brief stop in the Darkstar Lounge.

Amicably weaving her way through the crowds, her mind wandered, free for once of the burdens of leading her crew. Reviewing past conflicts and crew advancements, it wasn't long before her thoughts wound their way, inevitably, back to a certain, tall, grey-blue eyed turian. The agent turned vigilante seemed constantly foremost in her thoughts of late. Garrus, for all intents and purposes was her closest friend and ally.

What intrigued her the most, though not to the level of disturbing her, was the fact that she wasn't entirely sure, but through gradual self-evaluation, she realized the feeling had grown beyond that. Perhaps quite far beyond that, though it was difficult to determine. The more puzzling thought to the woman was that it was an emotion she was positive dated as far back as their exploits on the first Normandy.

From the moment she first laid eyes on him speaking to Executor Pallin on the steps to the Council audience chamber the spectre had always had a special place in her heart for him. Even through her relationship with Kaidan, the turian had always been the one she went to when she felt down or uncertain about the mission. It had always just... felt right.

The signs were always present, she had simply attempted to ignore them or shove them aside to study later... a 'later' that never came. Increased heart rate, a fluttery feeling in her stomach, a slight tremor at his smallest touch or softer expression. Their bond through combat only served to intensify the emotions; comedic banter, amicable camaraderie and competitive natures serving as an incubator for stronger feelings to develop in relative safety.

There was no denial now; Shepard had intensely strong feelings for Garrus. Emotions the commander was not entirely convinced should be exposed. The turian's friendship was far too valuable to throw away in the event her advances were unwanted. Releasing a sigh she never realized she was holding, the spectre continued on her way.

Soon she was on her way back to the ship, her purchases safely stowed in her pack or being prepared by the shop owners to be dropped off at the Normandy landing site. Boarding the ship she realized just how quiet the vessel was, no engines were running, just life support and a few other systems. Most of the crew had disembarked and only a handful of people remained, both for security reasons and to maintain the ship. The personnel would be switching shifts later with other crew in order to allow everyone a chance to do what they needed to on the Citadel.

Stopping by her cabin to stow her armor and weapons the spectre grabbed a special bottle she'd purchased and made her way down to the Crew Quarters deck. Stepping off the elevator she rounded the corner and almost ran into a very tall figure.

"Garrus, you didn't want to leave the ship at all while we're at the Citadel?" she questioned the turian who looked as startled to see her as she was to see him. Rubbing the back of his head he considered the question.

"Not really, there's no one here I really needed to visit and being on the Citadel and seeing all the corruption and red tape still in place just frustrates me," he shrugged, his blue eyes considering her.

"What about you? No family to visit?" Shepard shook her head, her earlier thoughts considering the turian standing before her surfacing.

"I have no family, they all died on the colonies," Garrus could have kicked himself. "Any friends I made in the Alliance along the way either died or moved on to other things, so there's really no need for me to head out except to grab a few things," Garrus then noticed the bottle in her hand but chose not to comment.

"Well, I had a few modifications I was going to make while the ship was quiet, so I'm going to get back to work on them. You know where to find me if you need me," she nodded at him and he continued on his way. Shepard looked after him for a moment before turning and striding her way across the crew dining area to the medbay.

Chakwas had specifically said she missed the Serrice Ice Brandy she had lost on the original Normandy, regretting never opening it while she'd had the chance. Shepard meant to remedy this and make up for lost time.

Later Garrus was heading back from the lower portion of the ship, several components needed for the long range cannon in one hand when he was met by a somewhat amusing sight. The door to the medbay was open and Shepard appeared to be laying a very unconscious Doctor Chakwas on a bed before turning rather off balance and heading toward the main part of the deck. Stopping in the doorway and giving him a lopsided grin she leaned against the door, obviously extremely tipsy.

"Why Shepard, I didn't know you drank?" Garrus quipped, entirely amused to see a very flushed and drunk spectre leaning on the door for support. Pushing herself away from the door jam she staggered forward into the room slightly, the flush in her cheeks deepening.

"I don't usually, but I owed the good doctor one. Her last bottle got burnt up with me," she made a whistling sound, making her hand look like a plane descending before running it into her other hand and making a really odd explosion sound. "All gone," she grinned at him in a rather goofy manner and he again wondered what kind of woman was capable of joking about what must have been a rather traumatic and painful experience.

"Well you probably should head to bed and sleep it off," he began but she laughed.

"Oh hells no," he cocked his head at her, interested in this uninhibited side of his commander and friend, "I'm much too awake to sleep..." she got a very concentrated look on her face, "although helping you work on technical stuff is probably an entirely bad idea as well... I might blow us up or do something drastic to the firing systems of the ship..." she looked up at him, a very serious expression on her face, "and that would be bad." He had to chuckle.

"Yes, yes Shepard, that would be bad," she nodded and a thought occurred to the turian. There seemed to be no debate whatsoever in her mind that she was going to at the current moment spend time with him. Her entire debate seemed to be centered around 'what' she was doing with him. The notion caused a warm feeling to settle in his stomach. Suddenly she seemed to get some bright idea that lit up her features and he knew trouble was coming.

"I've got it! Let's find a good place, probably one of the clear platforms above engineering and you can teach me turian hand to hand combat!" this idea seemed to excite her way too much, to his chagrin.

Groaning slightly he knew this would only end in bad.

"Shepard," he said with a chuckle, "I fail to see how that is a safer and better idea than helping me with the firing systems of the Normandy..." suddenly a rather irritated looking woman was right in his face, poking his armored chest with one finger.

"Well then, Mr. Smarty-pants, you think of something better to do," she said stubbornly.

"Well I _was_going to get these parts installed..." he began but when Shepard crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at her he sighed again."But how about I teach you a turian card game instead, hm?" he offered, spreading his hands in defeat. Shepard considered him a moment before nodding her consent.

"I suppose that will do, but you will have to show me turian hand to hand at some point, you're not getting out of that one so easily," he nodded nervously before motioning for her to follow him and led the way to the forward battery.

Taking up a cross legged seat on the floor with Garrus settling himself into a similar though differently formed sitting position due to his legs bending different ways from hers, he taught her a card game he and his fellow turians used to play when they weren't drilling, fighting or exercising. Shepard picked up the game more quickly and easily than he thought possible and gave him a run for his money, though they weren't using any sort of currency. The glowing, iridescent cards flashed as they played, both quipping jokes at one another and laughing more than he thought they would. She really was quite companionable when she actually sat down with nothing more to do than play cards, not to mention had quite a bit of alcohol in her system.

It was a shame he thought that she never let anyone close enough to see this side of her. It had taken him how long and how much alcohol to see it? Though he knew why. If he were an enemy he could very easily manipulate this knowledge and power against her. The impenetrable Shepard was a safer face to give everyone. He didn't know if she thought of him the same way, but he truly considered her to be a very close friend of his. Quite possibly one of his only true friends.

"I remember this one time during basic, we were doing cold weather training and squad mate Henley was in charge of reverting the climate control to normal, only he forgot and changed it back hours after we were done. Long enough for the lighter frost to go away, but not the ice on the floor. So we were double timing it to mess and the guys in front went down like bricks when they hit the ice, causing a domino effect. The whole platoon was floundering on our asses. I'd never seen drill _so_ red with anger before," she laughed. Garrus watched her, enraptured, finding it a little difficult to imagine a young, untested, less-hardened Shepard, dressed in a recruit's uniform. She sighed with a smile.

"It's definitely been a long, strange ride, huh?" he drank in her far off expression.

"It certainly has," he responded.

Rubbing her face, quite a bit of her usual Shepard self having settled into place she checked the time, much of the alcohol having seemed to have worn off.

"Thanks for entertaining me, Garrus. It was good to just sit around with nothing pressing to do for once," Garrus leaned back on a supporting hand behind him, considering her over their forgotten cards, his legs unfolded before him, one crossed over the other.

"It was my pleasure, Shepard. It's not often we get to just sit and talk like this, you're always welcome down in my realm," he smiled at her and she grinned back. Standing she stretched and he couldn't help watching her lithe form as she arched back, getting the feeling back in her limbs. With a smile she turned to the door as he began cleaning the cards up and putting them away. Halting at the exit she didn't look back at all, hovering for a moment, her hand on the door frame, he looked at her curiously.

"_Did you mean what you said?" _she asked him in perfect turian, still facing forward, the lighting beyond highlighting her silhouette. Swallowing hard he looked down at the cards in his hands.

"_Yes I did,"_ he answered before tossing the cards in his makeshift room and leaping onto a catwalk, tools in hand and disappearing down the dark passage. Looking over her shoulder a slight bit, a small smile playing at her lips she left the forward battery, the doors hissing shut behind her.

=/=

With a growl Shepard brushed past Garrus as he exited the elevator, slamming the console with her fist, the doors hissing shut behind her leaving a confused turian in her wake. Turning around, he caught sight of a terribly amused Kasumi standing near the commander's private terminals.

"What was that all about?" he questioned, jerking a thumb in the direction of the elevator.

"Oh, I simply informed Shepard of the nature of the mission we're currently undertaking. Apparently…" she paused smiling, her oddly twinkling eyes visible in the shadows of her hood, "she doesn't like evening wear," the thief chuckled a little more as she stepped silently away, disappearing around the corner, leaving the turian more bewildered than before.

Half an hour or so later, Garrus received a short comm message from a very perturbed commander telling him to meet her and Kasumi in the shuttle bay. Losing no time he hustled down past engineering and parked himself in the shuttle bay, knowing in the mood Shepard seemed to be in it was not a good idea to be late. Momentarily the door slid open again producing a Kasumi who looked like the cat that got the mouse, a very amused and pleased expression on her face. Still confused the turian waited more, accepting the Japanese woman's explanation that Shepard would be down soon and that they were heading to some kind of party.

Garrus was not at all prepared for what he saw when the doors slid open. Shepard strode through, her hair was done up differently, dark tresses wound softly at the back of her head so that tendrils fell loose and framed her face and neck, a far cry from the usual tight bun she kept her hair in, but the differences only got more dramatic from there. Her arms were completely bare and she was clad in a tight fitting, part leather part cloth evening dress, completely open at the chest showing off her cleavage with a silver choker at her throat, making her neck appear long and elegant. Soft grey and smoky blue eye shadow brought out the bright blue of her eyes and her lashes were longer, darker and curled appealingly. Shapely legs were visible under the knee length dress and she carried black high heels in her left hand, her pistol belt in her right, her bare feet padding softly on the cold metal floor.

"What?" Shepard snapped at him and he jerked his head, looking the other way.

"Sorry, Shepard…" she glowered at him as Kasumi laughed and they boarded the shuttle, exiting the Normandy into the dark of space, heading for the nearby planet. During the ride Kasumi explained the mission and what Shepard and she were to be doing. Apparently he was simply a chauffeur this time. The party was by invite only and Kasumi could cloak if necessary. Cold knots settled in the turian's stomach. This was like the Morinth mission. The idea of letting Shepard go in there with only Kasumi, a house full of deadly mercenaries and attempt to steal this 'greybox' back made him very nervous. He knew Shepard was capable of handling herself, but he also knew this might be a little deep.

Despite his trepidations, he couldn't help sneaking peeks at the woman in the shuttle with him. She looked absolutely fabulous in that get up, as miserable as she seemed. Elegant clothing was definitely not Shepard's style, but _man_ did she have the body for it. The dress hugged her in all the right places, her hair softening the usual harsh lines of her face, making her seem a lot less warrior-like. Her unusual scars only enhanced her story of being a mercenary for hire. The fact that a whole room of men and women were going to get to see her like this deposited an unreasonable knot of jealousy in his gut.

His internal dispute didn't prevent him from hearing the two women's conversation regarding Shepard's stowed armor and weapons in the base of the 'gift' they were bringing their host. This gave the turian some measure of relief, but he still preferred to be there at her back, keeping her from harm than forced to be a distant observer once again.

Finally they landed and Shepard placed her shoes on her feet and prepared to disembark and fulfill her mission. Kasumi exited the vehicle and made sure the statue was being delivered and passed the scans as planned. As Shepard went to slip out awkwardly, Garrus stopped her with a hand on her elbow. Looking back at him curiously he floundered a bit when faced with those true blue eyes.

"Shepard just… be careful… I hate these missions where you go in alone…" he finally admitted. She smiled at him.

"Don't worry, Garrus, I'll be back before you know it," she punched his shoulder amicably before she slid out of the vehicle and went to close the door, pausing a moment.

"Oh," she bent slightly to look at him, giving him a great view of her cleavage, though he was sure that was unintentional, "and by the way, if you tell any of the crew about this…" she motioned to her dress, "I'll beat you within an inch of your life," she smiled at him sweetly and slammed the door shut, leaving a chuckling Garrus behind to take off. He glanced out the window as Shepard entered the house, her hips swaying appealingly.

"Stay safe, Shepard… you'd better come back to me."


	11. Ambushed! and Joker

(Chapter Edited)

=/=

This was too weird. Shepard was convinced there was more than met the eye. A deactivated Collector vessel, disabled by a turian scout ship leaving no Collector's bodies on board… anywhere? Something wasn't right. Senses on full alert, Shepard motioned Garrus and Thane to follow her and the trio their way through a cathedral ceilinged room housing thousands upon thousands of stasis pods, all meant to be filled by human colonists.

EDI chimed over their comm units informing the team that the terminal was a short distance up the path. Within moments a platform bearing the illuminated controls they were seeking came into sight, the group slowed slightly, monitoring the area for possible threats. Swiftly Selydra activated her omni-tool, beginning the connection link with EDI to the Collector ship and starting to transfer all the data they possibly could.

On board the Normandy Joker was watching the incoming data stream across his console as EDI worked fast to record the information. Static and code errors flashed across the screen before the consoles fritzed out and shut everything down. Shepard touched her comm and checked the console nervously.

"Joker, what happened?"

"I ... I don't know, Commander! Everything just shorted out, but we seem to be back online now."

"Shepard, there is someone else in the system and multiple firewalls have blocked my progress," EDI's voice intoned. "This was a trap and I suggest you defend yourselves, enemies coming your way," Shepard and her squad members were nearly knocked off balance as the platform dislodged itself and began to rise, the whine of the motors deafening.

The platform shook violently again as it stopped moving, the whine of more platform motors now clearly evident as the trio dove behind what little cover there was. Three platforms rose to meet them, two connecting and latching onto their dais while the third moved back and forth behind the others in a patrolling manner.

"Scions!" Shepard shouted as she took cover moments before a devastating blue shockwave slammed into the metal before her. Thane and Garrus easily sniped most of the Collectors who revealed themselves before a Harbinger made its appearance, slamming their cover with its unique black singularity.

Incoming fire was intense, Shepard found it difficult to time returning fire and biotic powers with their relentless onslaught. Breathing hard she crouched behind her cover, letting her shields regenerate as shockwave after shockwave of blue dark energy assailed the metal between her and utter destruction. Peeking around her cover she found Thane to be in a similar predicament, a singularity slammed into his cover, knocking him to his knees, his rifle clattering to the deck before he righted himself. The drell cursed as he retrieved his rifle, leaning back against the waist high wall in exasperation, his shields slowly regenerating.

"Use warp, Thane! It'll break down his ridiculous barriers!" she shouted over the din, ducking her head as gunfire pinged all around her. The heavy sound of warp filled the air as she and Thane traded hiding in cover with throwing a curved warp at the annoying Harbinger, occasionally using an armor piercing round or a blast from her Collector particle beam to help soften him up. Garrus continued to pick off Collector soldiers left over as well as new ones when another platform made its appearance.

A sudden grunt from Garrus had Shepard checking his position just in time to see him stumbled back from an annoying singularity, his shields dropped inordinately fast as the Collectors concentrated fire on a now visible target, his blue turian blood spattered his cover and the deck behind him. There were no more thoughts for her own safety as Shepard dashed from her position, sliding into cover by the now fallen turian, lifting his head and setting it in her lap.

Thane took a few shots covering her while Shepard activated her omni-tool and jacked him full of med-gel.

"You're not allowed to die while I'm still alive," she growled out, relieved when his grey blue eyes fluttered open.

"A comforting thought," he chuckled as he hesitated a moment upon seeing his current location, head firmly on Shepard's thighs. Slowly and reluctantly he sat up and retrieved his rifle. "You died once and that just pissed you off," Selydra punched his shoulder.

"Let's talk about my nine lives after all our enemies are dead," she grinned.

"Agreed," he grinned back, popping off a shot, taking a Collector drone in the head.

Another singularity threw Shepard forward, her shields dropping and her tech armor nearly failing before she regained her cover.

"That fucking thing is pissing me off!" Shepard spat out, slamming it hard with a heavy warp. With all the other Collector minions dead they finally were able to focus fire on the Harbinger, relieved when he dissolved into dust. Now for the scions.

Through careful, strategic fire the team took down the scions with relatively little damage to themselves. Another incoming platform whined to announce its arrival.

"85%. I should have control back in a few moments," EDI intoned over the comm.

"Come on, EDI, speed things up!" Shepard responded.

"I am having to combat whoever is in the system as well as a maze of firewalls, it is not easy, but I will have it accomplished in a few moments. Continue to defend yourselves." Shepard scowled as the platform locked with theirs.

Another Harbinger and scion. This was becoming an amazing day. Thane, Garrus and Shepard stood their ground, covering one another while they utilized biotics and tech powers to combat their enemies, the sheer amount of bullets flying past them astounding the commander.

"I have control," EDI announced triumphantly over the comm. Shepard lowered her assault rifle with a sigh of relief, their enemies lay dead, the platform detached and descended back to their point of origin.

"The Collectors are moving, Shepard, and I traced that distress signal from the turians back to this ship."

"That's not so unusual, it was a trap…" Shepard began.

"Not entirely. Turians encode all their messages, including their distress signals. There is no way the Illusive Man thought this signal was real. He knew it was a trap."

"That bastard sold us out, I knew it," Garrus sneered.

"Considering the sort of man he is, it should not be terribly surprising," Thane responded.

"Did he really, Shepard?" Joker's voice asked over the comm.

"We'll place the blame later, now we need to focus on getting out of here."

"Agreed, Commander. On a side note the Collector ships engines are coming back online and they're powering back up, so I'd suggest you hurry. I'm not losing another Normandy," his voice darkened over the frequency. Her own expression darkened.

"You won't have to, Jeff. I promise you," her voice held a note Garrus couldn't identify but it gave him the shivers.

"I'm gonna hold you to that, Sel," Joker's voice wavered slightly as the team moved out.

Their flight to the Normandy shuttle dock was nothing short of epic. Multiple times their path was blocked and EDI had to override and provide them with an alternate route. One particular such instance almost had the commander falling on her ass in an attempt to stop her headlong sprint. Through the door they were aimed straight for emerged a Praetorian.

"Take cover NOW!" Shepard screamed, her voice rasping slightly with the force of her order. The team scattered and the commander dove just in time to narrowly avoid the brutal blue beam of energy that melted the ground where she'd skidded to a halt.

The young woman sprinted behind some cover, hoping to gain some distance from the menacing, floating monstrosity. Praetorian's main weapon, or seemingly only weapon was a concentrated collector beam, much like the weapon used on the Normandy during its destruction. The one that cut through it like butter.

Shepard's shield alarms blared in her ear loudly as she threw herself behind cover, the Praetorian's beam had caught her for a few nano-seconds before was able to block its visual of her. Breathing hard, she felt like she was in track and field, keeping the damn thing distracted as she vaulted, sprinted and dove all across the room trying desperately to keep solid metal between her and the Collector while Garrus and Thane posted up in safe positions and whittled away at its shields.

In frustration she slammed her tech shield control, cursing the little complaining error beep that told her they weren't ready yet, the moments it took to regenerate power never felt like such an eternity before. And she would be forced to move soon. Her chest heaved as she leaned her head back against the cold metal, her assault rifle in hand as she waited for the right moment to sprint. The beam stopped, her shields weren't ready, but she had no options. She had to move while it was powering its beam up again.

Shepard sprinted across the dangerous open space, praying she'd make it across the room to the outcropping of rocks in time. Her tech shields powered up around her just in time to soak up the damage from the collector beam and overload again, the powerful energy slamming her in the back as she attempted to make the cover, instead falling and rolling behind it, propping herself up slightly as showers of blue energy decimated the rocks around her. Statically over the comm she heard Garrus call her name worriedly, Thane chiming in. Garrus watched her dodge the deadly beam, his heart in his throat as he hammered the praetorian with everything his sniper rifle had.

"If you don't both shut the fuck up and kill that goddamn thing I'm coming back from the afterlife again to shoot you both in the face!" she growled into the comm, still panting heavily. Garrus smirked.

Sweat stung her eyes and her throat was raw, her chest ached and she was low on med-gel. Creeping slowly to remain under cover, Shepard moved up the walkway and around the corner, letting the Praetorian approach her former cover and find her missing. The warps, overloads and concussive rounds finally took their toll on the irritating monster and Shepard heard the triumphant sound of its shields failing. It wasn't long before it disintegrated entirely, leaving an irritated Shepard trying to catch her breath while Joker and EDI screamed in her ear about the Collector ship powering up.

Garrus stared at Shepard with a fair amount of awe. Any other person would have succumbed to failure and died at the sheer firepower of that Praetorian. Shepard had pulled it off and though she was obviously fatigued, she rallied the two of her team and sprinted off in the direction of their shuttle without so much as a complaint.

=/=

Joker looked up from his flight consoles as Shepard entered the cockpit and silently slid into one of the pilot's chairs, turning to face the forward viewport, elbows on her knees, watching the stars. Viewports were a human vessel trait, a relic from space faring stories in the early twentieth century. Romantic ideals of heroic captains traversing the stars far before it was conceivable, feet shoulder width apart, arms akimbo, fearlessly leading their crew into the vast unknown. Alliance and human engineers couldn't quite seem to let the ideal go, despite the structural weakness it caused.

"She's soothing isn't she?" Joker asked, joining her in staring at the passing stars. Softly Shepard lay a hand on Joker's shoulder.

"Glad to have her back, Joker," more of a statement than a question.

"Indeed. The universe wasn't quite right without her," he glanced at her. Shepard was the one person he dropped his asshole façade. Ever since he let slip in a conversation with her about his 'condition' and nothing changed between them he'd had a deep seeded respect for her. She had shrugged as if it didn't matter and left the cockpit, letting him have free reign where he did his best work, unlike every other commander he'd had, who automatically treated him like a breakable loose end.

The first time she saw him after her resurrection, something had snapped within her and their relationship had changed. She was no longer his superior, their bond through life, death and loss had forged them a unique friendship. His was the last face she'd seen before dying and it was the first face she'd recognized. Joker was an integral part of her life and death experience and same with him vice versa. She was 'Sel' now. 'Commander Shepard' wasn't as strong as Sel in his mind.

Sighing the commander sat back, still staring at the ebony void.

"Our chances aren't good," again it was a statement.

"Like that's ever stopped you before, Sel," Joker chuckled before his face grew serious, still staring out into the emptiness.

"You know… I had a dream the other day," Shepard finally looked over at him. "I don't believe in bad omens, but this was… bad," he hesitated. "It's probably nothing but… I dreamed… we made it to the collector base and that… one by one each member of the team died. In various ways they were picked off, carried away by swarms, what have you. Two even died on the Normandy on the way, though the details are hazy. Not due to my piloting mind you," Shepard smirked silently despite herself.

"But… one by one each squad member died, until it was just you and I left. You came running back to the Normandy after you completed our mission, the collector base exploding behind you. A piece of rubble destroyed the walkway to the Normandy causing you to sprint and leap to reach the door, but you didn't make it the whole way. You were hanging by your hands from the door… and I couldn't pull you up. I was too weak," Shepard stared at him.

"You told me… to… to take the information to the Council. To make sure everyone knew. Then you fell…" Joker looked down.

"Jeff," he looked back at her finally, for once his emotions unguarded, his usual asshole face gone, the fear evident in his eyes.

"Shepard this team can't lose you again… I can't lose you again. You've become one of my only friends. The only officer to treat me with respect and not as a liability. But… I am weak. If this were to come true… I know I wouldn't be able to save you…"

"Jeff…" Shepard grabbed his forearm, forcing him to face her. "I don't think this is a premonition or a bad omen at all… I think this is your guilt for my death and the first Normandy manifesting itself," Joker stared at her.

"Shepard… I… if I wasn't then…" he stared at her his eyes filled with guilt and pain. She shook her head with a small smile.

"Joker, it has nothing to do with weakness or inability. You've saved us time and time again at the controls of the Normandy. That's something I couldn't do if my life depended on it," she smiled at him. "You were trying to save the ship we all loved. Your dedication at the helm saved a lot of lives that day. Had it been another person I'd thrown in that pod and not you it still would have happened. The Collector's beam did it, not you," Joker stared at her a moment, the guilt beginning to ebb away as he accepted the fact that she didn't blame him for her death. Obviously he'd been carrying the shame and the assumption she blamed him for quite some time. Possibly since it happened.

"Thanks, Commander. Visions of you blasting away from the pod have haunted my nightmares since then," he looked at her from the corner of his eyes. "Don't go… spreading that around though… I have my 'asshole' reputation to maintain," Shepard grinned.

"Your secret is safe with me, Mr. Moreau," EDI chimed in. Joker turned his head and glared at the blue glowing AI.

"I hate you more and more every day. I hope you know that," he said halfway cheerily to the shipboard personality.

"The feeling is mutual I'm sure, Mr. Moreau." Shepard laughed and exited the flight deck to allow the happy couple time alone.


	12. Jack's Childhood and Bickering

Author's Note: Two short chapters, so I banged them both out and figured I'd submit them at once since I haven't gotten a good update out for a while. Don't forget to R&R!

(Chapter Edited)

=/=

Rain was falling from the inky black sky in torrents. The heavy, moisture laden atmosphere only succeeded in further irritating the already perturbed team. Shepard knelt in the downpour waiting on her squad mates. After a quick recon of the immediate area, the commander had notified Garrus and Jack still currently inside the shuttle that they were heading in. Apparently, Jack was still dragging her feet. For wanting their current location to become a hole in the ground she sure was hesitant to come actually follow through.

Movement to her left told her Garrus had finally exited the craft, now they were just waiting on the convict. The turian quickly explained that she was double checking the bomb, apparently she hadn't anticipated how moist the environment was going to be. Shepard shook her head, water streaming down the sides of her face and off her armor as she continued to wait patiently.

Garrus for his part was having difficulties concentrating. Shepard was soaked, her armor glistened in the heavy rain, her hair darker than normal, strands plastered to her temples, cheeks and neck. She was in a kneeling position, weight on one knee and the other bent supporting her elbow. Methodically her fingers worked over her new Locust assault rifle, a recent acquisition during her mission with Kasumi. Apparently the sentinel had used it irreverently to garner the attention of Donovan Hock during the heist, a moment the turian would have given anything to have witnessed; he chuckled internally.

The sophistication with which Shepard sometimes presented herself never ceased to startle him. Sometimes it was easy to forget that under the hardened, on occasion dirt or blood caked exterior was an articulate, educated and refined woman. The ease with which she convinced the Admiralty Board of Tali's innocence, absent any evidence was particularly impressive.

With a thud Jack exited the small landing craft and Shepard nodded wordlessly, moving to point and taking the small squad into the facility. Locust at the ready in case of native wildlife, the commander moved through the in-processing rooms and adjacent rooms in stoic silence. Jack would occasionally break the stillness with short monologues about their location, including various torturous experiments enacted in each one.

The few varren that attacked were taken care of quickly, their progress through the facility smooth and fairly swift. Ceiling breaks would let in more water and light, their soggy tread illuminated by the soft glow of the soaked jungle outside and the occasional flickering electro lamp still tenuously attached to the wall.

Room after room silently attesting to the horrors inflicted on these children subjects passed them by, each step leaving a more unsettling feeling in Shepard's gut. This was exactly the same stuff she condemned Cerberus for before. Despite the fragmented and partial holo-message regarding the Illusive Man's lack of knowledge of the facilities activities Shepard knew none of this would be possible without funding from the man himself. Enabling. Cerberus claimed to be extremists for humans, sure as hell seemed like a lot of human children suffered here.

A sudden outburst from Jack caught her attention.

"I thought this place was deserted, what shot those varren? Those are fresh kills," the commander examined the bodies of the creatures a moment before nodding.

"Something else is here, stay on alert," the two nodded before they continued onward. Though Shepard's exterior hinted at a fully alert and on task soldier, her mind was quite the opposite. Despite the danger of their current situation, traversing into the unknown, the enemy clearly ahead of them somewhere, she couldn't stop wayward thoughts regarding a certain turian behind her.

Lately he was impossible to dislodge from the forefront of her thoughts. It was bad enough that she'd finally admitted her attraction for him to herself, now she couldn't seem to stop. It was getting worse by the day. There was a constant nagging worry in the back of her mind. Shepard lived a dangerous life and she was currently assigned a suicide mission. What if she lost another crew member… or worse…Garrus?

Her thoughts were interrupted when the doors before her opened revealing a mercenary band, their apparent leader arguing over a comm with someone. Using quick hand signals Shepard commanded Garrus and Jack to seek cover. When their comm conversation ended their intent to kill them seemed evident.

"It doesn't have to be this way, we can end this peacefully…" Shepard started but the krogan laughed.

"It'll end with you dead and salvage for me!" he goaded as the commander dove behind cover, incoming fire pinging all around her. Shepard and Jack harried the mercenaries with biotic powers, Jack's shockwave knocked them around as they reeled in pain from Shepard's reave. The perfect setup to keep the heat and attention off Garrus as he picked them off from his vantage point.

Jack lifted the krogan when he began charging and the team easily finished him off. Whoever was paying these guys obviously didn't choose a very high salary merc group.

Their arrival at Jack's cell revealed an insanity driven and broken minded man leading an expedition to rebuild the facility. Garrus watched in amazement as Shepard convinced Jack that the man was a prisoner of his own mind and that there was no need to kill him. He was harmless.

As they flew away Jack flipped the control for the bomb open and closed restlessly. The commander considered her a moment before banging on the door of the shuttle cockpit to warn the pilot of the incoming explosion before Jack finally triggered the bomb, the shock wave jostling the small craft as it pathed its way back to the Normandy.

=/=

Shepard HAD been sleeping when a sudden announcement from Joker roused her, informing the drowsy commander that Jack and Miranda were fighting on the Crew Quarters deck. Her intervention was apparently necessary immediately. And he wanted pictures. Jackass.

Under normal circumstances Garrus would never have dreamed of entering Shepard's quarters unannounced, but he deemed this important enough to risk her wrath. Bursting into her room once the door slid open he caught sight of a very disheveled commander, hair down around her shoulders, mussy on one side, black tank top untucked from her ship board pants, pulling on her socks and boots, a rather irritated and grouchy expression on her pale face.

"What the hell is going on down there, Garrus?" her question was punctuated by the sound of a biotic warp slamming into what sounded like the ship's hull, the echoes from the force of the blow reverberated through the metal. The turian noticed however that Shepard didn't seem at all concerned that he'd barged into her room the way he did, he tucked the thought away for later.

"Jack approached Miranda with some questions regarding information in the Cerberus files you gave her access too. Apparently the questions didn't sit well at all with Miranda and a fight started," Shepard rolled her eyes.

"Surprise, surprise," she managed to pull her boots on and stood, striding to her desk, smoothing her hair along the way, wrapping it up with a band she picked up there. Snatching her ship board shirt off the back of the chair she pulled it over her head and tucked it in neatly, completing her ensemble. Garrus stared at her somewhat amazed at her rapid transformation from sleepy to soldier. Motioning to the dumbfounded turian, Shepard moved quickly, her long strides eating the ground to the elevator and punched in the Crew Quarters deck.

Exiting the elevator, the two made a bee-line past the mess area to the now singed and wrecked short hallway to Miranda's office. In the elevator Shepard had summoned Samara who now fell into step behind the commander as the three approached the cussing and biotically flaring pair. A nod from Shepard had Samara glowing blue with biotic power, the two women now levitated off the ground in a blue lift stasis field. Shepard crossed her arms over her chest and glared at them.

"I don't care what the hell this is about. What I care about is that two of my team members are acting like children, tearing my ship apart and ruining the congruency of my squad," her eyes held an ice neither had seen directed their way before. "You both will set this aside until after the mission, or so help me by whatever deity out there you believe in I will jettison you out the nearest airlock without hesitation. Are we _clear_?" So strong was Samara's lift field that the two were barely capable of nodding. The commander glared at them both for a moment, taking in their still glowering countenances.

"Jack, I expect you to steer completely clear of Miranda, after today I want no further exchanges between you two, initiated by either person. If I hear even the slightest hint of you starting trouble, you're through. Miranda…" Shepard glared at her especially hard, "you know better than this! For someone who 'claims' to be my second in command, you act like a spoiled little girl who isn't getting her way. I'm sick of it. Shape up or leave my team. I don't need a troublemaker defending my back when we're up against the fight of a lifetime." Shepard glared at the two a moment longer before settling a hand on Samara's shoulder, letting the justicar know that she could stop concentrating.

The two biotics fell to the floor none too gently and immediately stood. Jack glared at the other woman.

"When this is over, you can bet I'm coming for you," she sneered at the Cerberus operative.

"Oh, I'll be waiting," she ground out as the convict stormed from the room. Shepard stared at the genetically engineered woman in disappointment and irritation for a moment before turning away, leaving the woman to her shame. Miranda sat at her desk avoiding eye contact.

Garrus caught up with the fast walking commander.

"Shepard, sorry about… barging in like that…" he hesitated and she shook her head.

"It's no problem, Garrus, you're allowed to interrupt me in my cabin whenever you need. As long as you keep the information of how I looked when you came in to yourself," she glanced up at him from the corner of her eye with one eyebrow quirked and he chuckled.

"At least you clean up well," he quipped back and she snorted.

"Oh of all the races, humans had to be cursed with 'bed-head,'" she chuckled and he grinned.

"I think 'bed-head' is much preferable to the deep voice and feminine physique of a krogan," Shepard outright laughed.

"Yes, I suppose that's true," her eyes twinkled with mirth.


	13. Drunken Admittance & Mess Hall Meals

Author's Note: I apologize for the long absence. Life gets in the way of life sometimes. Don't forget to read and review...

(Chapter Edited)

=/=

Early one evening Garrus was on the CIC deck of the Normandy with Shepard, reviewing the schematics of the Normandy, the commander seeming to be extremely pleased with the rate of improvements the ship had undergone. There were still a few things to be tweaked, but the Normandy was close to ready. Now to get the team ready, finally.

Kelly Chambers interrupted them, politely letting Shepard know she had a message at her private console. Smiling at his latest comment and nodding at the woman she thumped his shoulder and strode to her console, leaving him behind to document the last few changed they'd analyzed.

After quite a few moments and Shepard still hadn't returned, Garrus looked up, his grey-blue eyes seeking the commander's location. She stood at her private terminal, but her expression of levity was completely gone. In its place was a mask hiding the confusion and … hurt…? he saw in her eyes. The rest of the crew would see her as carefully blank, but he knew her better than that. What disturbed him most was he'd never witnessed an expression of hurt like that on her face before. She'd died a horrible death and come back mentally unscathed. What could have upset her so?

As if on cue her eyes rose and met his, their glassy depths unable to hide from him.

"I'm going to review a few things in my cabin for a bit, Garrus, we'll continue this later," she said in a deadpan voice, devoid of all emotion, chilling him to his very core. Nodding slightly he watched as she turned and disappeared through the elevator door, leaving him unsettled and confused. What did she read that cracked the impenetrable Shepard?

Continuing his research he restlessly moved about the CIC, documenting and adjusting, his hands repetitively stilling on his work, Shepard's odd behavior in the foremost of his thoughts. He knew he could crack the encryption on her console, fairly easily in all probability. Such a thing would be an unforgivable breach of her privacy though and he was sure she would never forgive him.

Staring in the direction of the elevator he considered her expressions, her emotion filled eyes drowning out all his other thoughts.

Finally in frustration he set his data pad and tools down, striding to the elevator and punching the controls to take him to her floor. The entire trip his stomach tied itself in knots. What if he was unwelcome? What if she just wanted to be alone? No, she had told him he was welcome to her deck whenever he wanted. That didn't mean he could take her up on it, did it? Whatever, she said it, maybe she'd regret it, but that was her problem. She was his problem and he needed to find out what was wrong and for once help her, not the

other way around. An unreasonable growl bubbled up in his chest, surprising him. His protective nature had kicked in and he wanted above all else to hurt whatever had caused her such visible pain.

Stepping off the elevator, his hand trembling slightly as he went to press the button to alert her to his presence at her door. In mid air he paused, thinking a moment. It was easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Holy hell he'd changed a lot in the past few years. Simply opening the door instead of buzzing he strode into the darkened room. His keen eyes picked up Selydra sitting on her sofa, a lit data pad on the surface of the coffee table before her, her forehead resting in one hand propped up on her knee, a bottle of alcohol gripped in the fairly limp hand resting on her other knee.

"What is it, Garrus?" she asked, her voice unusually sullen.

"This," he responded, leaning against the ceiling support by her office desk.

"What?" still not moving, her eyes transfixed on the data pad in front of her.

"You," he stated. "What did you read that changed your mood to this extreme extent?" Shepard finally reacted, leaning back with a sigh, her face finally leaving the shadow, revealing the fact that she was currently fairly drunk, her flushed cheeks belying her mental state. Settling back against the sofa, her usual assertive posture gone, looking like nothing more than a lonely, tired woman, her piercing blue eyes softened by the alcohol and whatever she'd read.

"And what makes you think I read anything that changed my mood?" she asked futilely, sneering in partial disgust at herself and the alcohol in her hand before taking another drink.

"Shepard…" he responded looking at her seriously before sitting at the other end of the sofa, "do you realize how stupid that question really is?" he considered her as she chuckled humorlessly.

"Yes I suppose so, huh?" she said looking down at the data pad again. "I guess I'm not all I'm cracked up to be, am I?" she asked uncharacteristically. Now he was really concerned.

"Shepard, what's all this about?" he questioned carefully. The response was a data pad tossed into his lap that he caught haphazardly, the unexpected movement surprising him. Glancing at her as she took another drink of what he realized was an old style of earth rum called, ironically, 'Sailor Jerry,' he lifted the data pad and began to read.

On it was displayed a message she'd uploaded from her private console, a message from Alenko. Well no wonder. In the message the biotic talked about how he was sorry for his response on Horizon, but not sorry for what he'd said. He told her that he'd tried moving on, even dating, but had never been able to forget her. He also said he just wanted to move on and her being alive interfered with that. Wow… cold. The turian couldn't help the swell of anger that bubbled up inside him. What a callous jerk. But the message didn't end there.

It continued on to say that he didn't know where the future would go, but he wanted her to stay safe. The next line made Garrus have to stop and re-read it several times. The seemingly innocuous script read that after everything was over, who knew what would happen, heavily implying that they would get back together. How could this bastard tell her he didn't trust her at all, that she was still a traitor in his book, then tell her that her very continued existence interfered with his life _and then_ tell her he might want her back. No wonder she got drunk.

Looking up at his commander he watched her take another swig and let her head drop back against the sofa behind her, the flush in her cheeks much more concentrated than before. All at once it became clear to him. She was the only being in the galaxy that could satisfy his need for a mate. She was everything he wanted and more. Looking at her with a sinking heart he realized it was something that would in all probability go unfulfilled.

"Garrus…" she said softly, "what do you really think our chances are?" the question surprised him, his eyes blinking slowly as he came back into the present moment.

"Well like I said before, you died once and all it did was piss you off… I think we may lose people, but we're much more prepared this time," he responded as confidently as he could pull off, knowing Shepard was at her weakest currently, the thought disturbing him more than he wanted to admit. That realization startled him. How dare he assume that she would always be strong enough for all of them? Wasn't she allowed a moment of weakness? Wasn't she allowed to be the mortal she was? Emotions welled up inside him unchecked. That was the job of a mate, to stand at their back and protect them when they were at their weakest. His chest swelled at the thought that Shepard hadn't sent him away. She was sharing her weakest moment with him here and now. Hope sparked in his chest, small and fragile, but it was there.

Sitting forward and leaning on her knees precariously she let her head droop, her face shadowed again.

"Honestly… that message shouldn't even bother me… but it does..." he watched her carefully. "I let Kaidan go long before I even died," he stared at her in disbelief. "He and I were never meant to be together, it was all just a stupid diversion that I let myself indulge in," she snorted. "Part of me didn't believe _me,_" she said disdainfully. "I didn't believe I could do it. I didn't believe I could succeed. So it didn't matter.

"Then when I died… while the atmosphere burned up my suit and my body…" she stared at her hand in a sort of horrid fascination, he was sure she was recalling those moments, "one of the thoughts that drifted through my mind was… relief. I was free from the pressure. From the Council. From the Alliance. From Kaidan. From the guilt… of losing my unit on Akuze, of those I lost on the Normandy. Of Ash. From every stupid fuck that demanded my help," she tossed the bottle haphazardly onto the table, the amber liquid sloshing through the slender neck onto the clean surface.

"I never really wanted him. Sure I liked him, but I liked all my team," she said, her eyes had drifted to the side, not really seeing the room before her, their glassy appearance telling him she was seeing something entirely different. "So why does that message bother me?" she shook her head. "I don't know. Possessiveness maybe? Disgust at myself for my weakness? Irritation that he won't let go even though I _had_ died?" she rubbed her face in irritation.

"Commander Shepard… first human spectre… savior of the Citadel… heroic soldier… prime example of humanity… war hero…" she shook her head in disgust. "Except for the facts… like being the first human spectre… it's all lies. How could I be those other things when I'm a weak pathetic mess like I am now…?" she leaned forward again and stared at her open palms before her.

"Every time I close my eyes I see their faces. Every one that I let down. Pressley, Williams, the twenty lost on _my_ ship, my N7 unit," Garrus couldn't help the sympathy pang in his chest for her. He'd only lost eleven, she'd lost so many. She was obviously struggling with coping with it.

I'm such a hypocrite. I spout ideals and morals. Meanwhile I'm more shattered inside than they are. I have no right thinking I can help people. Cerberus bringing me back was a curse. 'Resurrection guilt,'" she snorted. He'd never considered that she might regret being brought back from the dead.

"I can't do it anymore… I can't keep up the façade… how can I help others if I can't even help myself? How can I ease the suffering of others when I can't stop my own nightmares? What right do I have…?"

Shepard had finally snapped, that was what he was witnessing. She finally broke down and needed a release. This was her form. He was sure she'd need a hug if she were that kind of person. He knew she wasn't. She needed him to be there, to listen and support her, the way she always supported everyone else.

"You know that's not true, Shepard," he said quietly and she chuckled again humorlessly. "No, seriously. No one else could have pulled off what you did. You know why?" she didn't move or respond. "Because you sacrifice everything of yourself. You give so much to your team without thought of anything in return. Your whole being is wrapped up in support of those around you. That's exactly why you _should_ give advice and help other people. You survived. Your strength carries us on when we're weary. You carry people, it's what you do. You're an inspiration for everyone on this ship to perform to their utmost. No one is here anymore for the money they were offered. If you told each and every one that Cerberus didn't plan on paying them anymore, every single one would stay and follow you through that Omega-4 relay to what might possibly be their last moments.

"Do you know why?" Shepard didn't move. "Because of who you are. The team fell apart after you died. Without your knowledge and guidance no one could take us where we needed to be. So we drifted apart. Each and every member of your team has been helped and touched in a way that is indescribable." He stared at her a moment. "Take me as an example," she looked up slightly, "of any of the crew members, Tali and I are closest to you, yet neither of us can fathom the burden you bear. Despite all that, you continually, through sometimes the threat of possibly losing our friendship, have endeavored to make me a better person, and help me make decisions that I won't regret later. If I had killed Sidonis, I know I would have regretted it. It wouldn't have given me the satisfaction I was yearning for.

"But in mercy, I have it now. Through careful consideration, I understand now why you're motivated the way you are to make the decisions you do. You could have ignored my plight; heavens know we're busy enough that I would have understood if you'd wanted to ignore it until after our hopeful return. Instead you carved out your precious time to help me… a vagrant turian… who isn't even a _good_ turian," she snorted, a good sign.

"Shepard, the galaxy may not know the person under the title, but much of your team does, and every one of us stands firm behind you. The galaxy may not understand the pressure you're under, or the pain you go through on a daily basis. Don't try to tell me it's nothing or shrug off what you've been through… from Akuze, to Virmire, your family on the colonies, friends you've lost in the Alliance, your death at the hands of the Collectors, Alenko, having to work for Cerberus… the ones responsible for Akuze…I could keep going," Shepard turned her head with a sigh her face still shadowed. "Your team is here… we're here to support you when the great Commander Shepard _does_ falter… when the impenetrable spectre _does_ have normal mortal needs and doubts," Shepard looked up, a familiar glower on her face.

"Don't ever call me 'the great Commander Shepard' again or risk losing a limb," she threatened and he chuckled, glad to see some of her spark back. Sighing she leaned back against the sofa again, staring up at the ceiling, though seeming a lot more relaxed and less glum.

"Hey Garrus?" she asked continuing to stare at the ceiling.

"Yes, Shepard?"

"You talk a lot, you should drink something," he chuckled.

"If you think I talk a lot now, then I definitely shouldn't drink," he responded with a smile. Sitting forward, an odd gleam in her eyes she stared at him.

"Oh, now you have to," she smiled, though the expression reminded him more of a predator than a friendly show. The woman nodded an expectant head in the direction of her closet, next to which there were shelves of liquor, one conveniently was acceptable for turians.

"Why, Shepard," he said amicably while standing and retrieving the bottle, examining the label, "I didn't know you entertained many turians in your personal quarters," he smiled and reseated himself, uncorking the bottle.

"Well," she responded snatching up her own bottle and taking a drink, shrugging innocently, "I like to be prepared, what can I say?" Garrus chuckled.

Shepard slumped back against the sofa as Garrus drank, rolling her bottle between her knees absently, staring off into space.

"You'll do nothing but contradict me, but I feel really pathetic right now," she commented dryly before taking another sip. Garrus grunted taking a sip himself before responding.

"Why? Because you know you're being unreasonably hard on yourself, because you're only human, as your race puts it, and can't be expected to be strong 24/7?" Shepard snorted but didn't reply. He chuckled. "Well, I'm here… and you've gotten me to start drinking… so talk, I'm listening," he smiled at her and she raised an eyebrow at him. The turian just smiled again and drank some more.

Standing restlessly she moved to the desk by her bed, setting her bottle down and picked up her scorched N7 helmet, Garrus watching her intently. He had known she'd retrieved it, but he'd never really gotten to see it or realize how badly damaged it was. She sat on the corner of the desk, cradling it gently with one hand and touching some of the scars softly.

"You know… he was never able to use my first name…" Garrus cocked his head and she shook hers, her eyes transfixed. "Kaidan... he could never call me Selydra," she scowled down at the helmet. Sighing she set it down again and stared off into space. "Just one of the many things wrong with the two of us…" his intent eyes regarded her carefully. "Horizon… just really didn't upset me all that much. I knew it was over between us," she stared at her hands.

"I guess what bothered me most was the fact I don't think he ever loved me… I think he was in love with 'Commander Shepard'… not _me_," she didn't move for a few long moments.

"You _are_ 'Commander Shepard,'" he responded carefully and her eyes shifted to him, a dangerous gleam lurking in their depths, "but… his primary mistake is that you're not 'Commander Shepard' only… you're 'Commander Selydra Shepard,'" she found she had to concentrate harder than she thought to suppress the shivers that ran up her spine at hearing him say her name. "He either lost sight of or never bothered to discover what was under the 'Commander,' the woman who cares for every member of her team, who makes sure the Cerberus woman who is pregnant is able to take shore leave at the time her child is born and find a replacement for the new mother," he said knowingly and Shepard cocked her head at him. She hadn't known he'd found out about that.

"You think you're the only one with information sources on this ship?" he said, his eyes twinkling in amusement as he took another swig. Shrugging in defeat, a small smile playing at her flushed lips she picked up her bottle and leisurely made her way back to the sofa.

To his complete shock, she didn't seat herself in her prior seat. Instead the spectre stepped right next to him, plopped down, pivoted until her back was to him then leaned up against his shoulder, letting her head droop back against his shoulder plate, bending her legs at the knees and resting her feet on the sofa in front of her, bottle nestled snugly in her lap.

"So, you think you know the woman under the 'Commander,' Vakarian?" she teased him lightly, though he thought he heard slight trepidation in her voice, causing him to glance down at the brown black head of hair resting against him. Was she nervous about letting someone close to her? Or was it something else?

"I'm glad you're comfortable and by the way you're welcome," he retorted and she snorted, taking another drink. He grinned in response, her closeness like a drug to his senses, lord the woman was addictive. "To answer your question, I think that would take a very long time. You are quite the complicated woman; however, I think I have a better idea than most. So why don't you be a good 'Commander' and debrief me?" he teased her and she laughed, the sound music to his ears.

"What's there to tell…" she hesitated, staring down at the bottle in her lap.

"Bullshit," he shot back, tipping back his drink. Selydra rolled her eyes.

"I was born 4.11.2154. My father was border patrol for our colony on Mindoir; my mother was the linguist for the residents. We were in the Attican Traverse, an area not often patrolled by the Alliance. Growing up my mother made sure I spoke fluently the council race's languages. She said it was important to getting a good career when I got older. That it could land me a job on the Citadel as an ambassador or a councilor even. She had high ambitions…" Selydra paused, considering the liquid in the bottle carefully. She'd never told anyone any of this before, it made things a little difficult on her. Garrus waited patiently.

"I remember," she chuckled lightly, "the other kids used to get so irritated when my mom and I used to talk in turian or salarian. Not many of the others bothered learning them, normal council space being so far away. And for such a small colony, translators were limited in supply. Only the high ranking had them, which was why it was important to have a linguist then," Shepard paused a few moments, collecting her thoughts.

"When I was sixteen… slavers raided Mindoir. A nearby colony that was hit first gave us some prior warning, but not much… enough to get my mother to start herding me to a hiding spot. I screamed and argued. It was a cramped space in the rock, where the building was built into the side of the stone. There was only room for one person. Ignoring me completely she shoved me into the space and jammed the wall back into place, I didn't have the leverage in that small area to dislodge it," he could hear the pain in her voice.

"The vents allowed me to see partially what was going on. Once I knew the attack had begun I fell silent, just watching… as they slaughtered every single adult in the colony. Everyone my age and under were taken as slaves. Most of the hidden ones were found and captured, but not me.

"I don't know how long I was in there. The days and nights began to blend together. After what seemed like an eternity I heard ships landing. By that time I was almost starved and very weak. I remained silent until I saw Alliance uniforms. I began banging on the metal and calling out until I got their attention and they broke me out, rescuing me. Everyone I had known… were all still scattered around," she paused again.

"A few years later I joined the Alliance," her head rolled against his shoulder, her eyes staring unseeing at the opposite wall.

"I'm sorry, I never knew…" Garrus said softly and she shook her head, rolling it back and forth slightly against him.

"Almost no one else does," she took a small sip. "Most of the soldiers who found me didn't remember me years later.

"The rest you know," she said softly. "There's really not much more to me than what's in my file," she smiled silently. "And I know you've read that," he chuckled down at her.

"Now how would I have access to the file of one of the most confidential individuals in the galaxy?" he chided her and she laughed.

"Because I know you, Garrus," he laughed in return. Shepard watched the fluid lazily sloshing back and forth in the bottle before her. With an internal smile she realized Garrus _had_ to have a stronger attachment to her than just friendship. How strong she was scared to death to try and find out.

Garrus for his own part was vastly enjoying this opportunity to unabashedly study Shepard, images of a similar view of her laying on a med bay bed surfacing in his mind, making things rather 'hard' on him. He grimaced inwardly. It was too bad he had so much respect for her, he thought dryly. Otherwise this would be the perfect opportunity to take advantage of her. Though he was sure he would die a rather gruesome and painful death the next day. It would _so_ be worth it, he chuckled to himself.

=/=

Garrus bounded his way out of the forward battery in a much better mood than being up at this hour supposedly with a hangover would warrant. Nothing it seemed though could dampen his mood. Nothing had happened; he had left her cabin after they'd finished their drinks, joking on the way out about scuttlebutt to which she scoffed. 'That's what my sidearm is for, stopping rumors' he had laughed and let the elevator doors shut behind him, whole heartedly regretting not scooping her up and embracing her 'goodnight.'

Stopping in his tracks he had to smile at the sight before him. Shepard was up early as usual, despite how late they'd been up drinking, seeming none the worse for wear and was sitting at the mess table with Mordin, Tali, Thane and a few crew members he recognized but couldn't remember their names. Plopping into a seat he nodded his thanks as the mess sergeant set a plate of turian food before him. Shepard nodded in acknowledgement to his presence without breaking sentence. She seemed to be discussing armor modifications with Mordin.

Oddly enough, the commander appeared to be the only person capable of keeping Mordin's attention long enough with conversation that he didn't steamroll her and dominate the debate himself. Garrus dug into his food ravenously as he watched her and Mordin banter shield strength matrices back and forth, arguing damage reduction over longevity. Shepard's point seemed to be that the shields would have time to regenerate under cover if need be, while her primary concern was having time to launch a counter attack without the shields failing.

Mordin seemed to believe it was more important the shields last longer. Diverting suit power seemed to be out of the question, so Shepard and Mordin were spitting equations back and forth faster than most of the crew could keep up with. The commander shook her head at his latest suggestion.

"Mordin, you're forgetting Tali's suit needs that emergency power, you can't divert that much to keeping the shields up longer without putting her operating systems in danger of failing. If she gets a suit puncture during combat then the bullets whizzing by her will be the least of her worries," Shepard took another bite of her food.

"Ah, point taken, indeed I had forgotten. Will need to reconfigure to quarian suit specifications without compromising shield strength…"

"See, my suggestion takes less power, amps the shield strength twice over without endangering suit power levels or regeneration, and takes into account special suit needs such as Tali's enviro suit and Garrus' ego boost," she continued without breaking stride, launching straight into a debate with Mordin regarding possible configurations on the back of their armor as Garrus nearly choked on his food.

"My god, Shepard did you just crack a joke?" he finally choked out, the crew snickering, surprised by this unexpected side of their Commander.

"Now Garrus, this is serious, why would I do something as obtuse as joke about the safety of my crew," she gave him a stern look, her eyes twinkling in unhidden mirth. The turian faked wiping a tear from beneath one eye, a starry eyed expression on his face.

"Joker would be so proud," he said, imitating the voice of a proud parent earning a fork thrown in his direction, dodging it smoothly as he laughed joining the rest of the crew in their mirth.

"Now Garrus, if you can be serious a moment then you can join our enlightening conversation," Shepard scolded him, a mock stern look on her fair features.

"My apologies, 'great Commander Shepard'," he chuckled earning him a glare from the woman.

"I hope you realize," Mordin said leaning toward Garrus, "that the Commander, though acting aggressively, missed you with her projectile intentionally. If she had wanted to, her aim would have resulted in injury, possible head trauma, bleeding of a nasal orifice, potential facial plate damage, not that there isn't a substantial amount already, even accounting for your considerable reflexes, being turian a renegade and former Citadel officer…" his monologue was interrupted by Garrus' hands held up in defeat.

"Yes, Mordin, I'm well aware of our fearless leader's battle prowess," he said laughing, considering Shepard lightly across the table as she resumed eating, an eyebrow quirked in his direction, her eyes revealing only to him how amused she was.


	14. Echoes of Past and STV Strontium

Author's Note: Thank you for the kind reviews and suggestions, I'm definitely taking them into consideration. :3 Pushed out another chapter as an apology for my last one taking so long. Hope you all like it and remember to R&R!

(Chapter Edited)

=/=

An emergency message from the Illusive Man interrupted Shepard's current overview of Mordin's research reports, the comm light on her console in her cabin illuminating. Sighing, the commander stood and made her way down to the debriefing room, cursing Joker's interpretation of the message as 'important.' Stepping into the holographic projection floor, she waited as the usual grid flowed over her body and the Illusive Man faded into being before her.

His back was turned and he slowly swiveled his chair, a stream of smoke accenting the movement, settling the hand with the cigar on the arm of his chair, the other holding his customary glass.

"This better be important," Shepard crossed her arms.

"I was informed of something recently that I thought you might wish to hear while you can still do something about it," the commander raised an eyebrow at him, letting him know she was listening. "An old friend of yours was abducted recently. My network of information revealed his location," he blew out a lungful of smoke and Shepard stared at him disdainfully.

"What 'friend' might this be?" she inquired.

"Gunnery Sergeant Matthew Sterns."

Shepard stared.

"Send Joker those coordinates NOW." She stalked from the debriefing room like a woman about to rip apart a whole star system. Garrus received a worried comm message from Kelly Chambers who watched Shepard storm through the CIC to the elevator, spitting out vehement commands for Joker to get the ship to the coordinates from the Illusive Man stat. Joker balked, saying it would take them off course for their current objective. Her response was a snarl to 'do it or lose it' before disappearing into the elevator.

The turian made a beeline for Shepard's cabin, not stopping to knock, already feeling the Normandy's mass effect core jettisoning the ship toward their new destination. The information Kelly relayed to him meant they would be there in a little under fifteen minutes.

"Shepard, what's going on?" he asked, stopping in the door way as she snapped her armored chest piece into place, the hissing and clicking of the seals locking her only response. With more force than necessary she shoved her feet into her boots, the sound of the locks filling the air before she retrieved her sentry visor, the blue interface statically illuminating as it adjusted, the digital display strengthening and updating her visuals to the conditions of her suit, methodically checking all the mechanicals.

Without glancing at him or acknowledging his presence she grabbed her weapons, attaching her collector particle beam to her back along with her locust assault rifle and finally chambering her carnifex and holstering it at her hip.

Turning to the door, Garrus stepped in her way, halting her forward movement.

"You and I both know that should I wish to, I can keep you here," he looked down at her sternly, her smoldering blue eyes bored through his chest. "What's going on, Shepard," he questioned softly. For a few long, pregnant moments, nothing moved, neither breathed, neither blinked, it was as if time stopped.

"You remember Mindoir?" her quiet, steely voice finally broke the silence. He nodded the tone of her voice more deadly and dark than he'd ever heard it before. "The first face I saw when the bulkhead was removed was that of Gunnery Sergeant Matthew Sterns. He retired a few years after I joined the Alliance and now he's prisoner on a facility in the Hawking Eta," Garrus stared at her.

"That's a little out of our way," Shepard's eyes finally slid to his face, her expression deadly.

"I… don't… care," she said enunciating each word carefully. "He's an old, retired Alliance soldier who's been captured by a facility apparently known to experiment on their subjects," now Garrus understood. Shepard brushed by him curtly, ignoring him as he followed her to the elevator, sticking right behind her as she made her way through the CIC, briefly talking into his comm, telling Tali to get her quarian ass to the Normandy shuttle bay, that Shepard had an emergency.

The elevator ride was long and silent. The back of her head and shoulders was all that received his worried glances as they descended. This was a touchy thing for her; this man was probably as close a parental figure as she could have had after losing her own parents. Though at odds with his own father, he knew he would rip apart the galaxy to bring vengeance on anyone who hurt him. Briefly he wondered if she would have shared this burden had he not become so close with her lately. She had seemed a little less stressed in the days following their conversation; he hoped it was because he had managed to help her. For now, all he could do was follow her and hope he could help her once again his instincts to protect her as a potential future mate overriding all other priorities.

A few minutes later found Tali already at the shuttle when Shepard and Garrus arrived, the commander ignoring both of them. Joker's voice sounded over the comm as the trio felt the ship's mass effect core decelerate, the ship shifting subtly as they arrived.

The trip to the planet's surface was silent, Shepard had dismissed the usual shuttle driver, taking the controls herself, guiding the craft to a small clearing, a short distance from a sprawling, disturbingly familiar looking facility. Not that any of the team had been there before, but the layout was all too recognizable.

Without a word Shepard departed the craft, her teammates hot on her six, Garrus taking rear, covering their tracks. A few guards made an appearance, but Shepard shocked both her friends by changing from her usual tactics. Storming right up on each of the guards, she got right in their face, surprising her assailants as well, each man stumbling back as she descended on them brutally shooting each in the face with her carnifex before moving to the next. Ignoring the blaring of her barrier warning in her ear, orange tech shields holding out until each man was dead, she moved with brutal efficiency through the exterior compound.

Tali and Garrus stared, having not fired a single shot. This wasn't like Shepard. Her combat style was usually flawless, clean, minimizing damage to herself and her team. The Shepard before them was brutal, relentlessly forcing each man back before taking them, execution style.

The door was blasted open by the commander who immediately disappeared inside, both Garrus and Tali stopped a moment to consider the Cerberus symbol emblazoned on the damaged portal.

"Oh no…" Tali's soft voice intoned before they quickly followed their leader, gunshots from a short distance away telling them she had started without them.

Not once did she use her biotics, each guard the commander ruthlessly hunted, like a predator stalking its prey, confident of victory, and shot each, one bullet to the forehead. Oddly enough, the only ones emitting any cries of mercy were from the scientific staff they came across. The very ones committing the atrocities. The duo following Shepard still had yet to fire their guns, she was so thorough. This was her personal mission.

They passed room after room, small alcove after small alcove, the entire facility stinking of death, obvious reasons for it all around. Of every other Cerberus facility they'd shut down, this was by far the worst. Body parts, some melded with mechanical machinery, mutilated bodies, internal organs in tanks and jars, all human. Why would Cerberus experiment so brutally on the very race they supposedly were trying to protect?

Shepard knew the answer all too well. They weren't protecting. It was never about protecting. It was about domination at any cost. These experiments were designed to attempt the creation of a super soldier. Subject Zero style experiments failed, also proving to be too much of a time sink for not enough gain. They were attempting to amplify biotics and strength, melding it with machine parts, in a small way similar to some of the improvements they made when they brought Shepard herself back.

The commander, out of paranoia regarding Cerberus had taken Mordin aside and confided in the scientist, the salarian happy to examine her and all her 'implants' and the technology. He assured her that nothing installed in her could alter her personality or cause mind control of any kind. They were simple implants to stimulate athletic and biotic output.

This facility seemed to be taking her upgrade implants to a morally desecrated level. Not one of the subjects they came across in Shepard's wild purge of the facility were alive, all displayed signs of restraint, not voluntary submission to experimentation. Mordin would be disgusted.

The deeper they delved into the facility, the more traumatic, cruel and unusual the experiments became. Groans from a nearby alcove caught Shepard's attention once the gunfire stopped. The door opened easily revealing a man strapped to a table, his limbs severed just below the shoulder joint and his legs just below his hips. Track marks from countless needle injections were apparent from his neck to his severed biceps, long incision marks, still an angry red from being sewn together traversed his entire side, showing signs of heavy, invasive core cavity surgery. The bald man was numbered 00567 with a tattoo on his neck, just under his jaw. Discarded machine arms lay in the corner, infected flesh still clinging to where the scientists had attempted to meld the prosthetic limbs to his biceps.

Soft whimpers escaped the delusional man and Shepard removed her glove, laying a hand on his forehead.

"You're safe now. People are coming to get you out of here, just hold on a little longer," Shepard said quietly to him, unsure of if he could even hear or understand her. Rage welled up within her. Room after room produced similar, disfigured and horribly maltreated victims, some still alive, most not.

Her partner's concern grew with each guard she executed. This wasn't like Shepard; she was usually the first to give a chance for mercy, for forgiveness. Then again, this facility was far worse than any they'd seen.

Turning a corner, a door larger than the rest loomed before them. The room revealed an old man, shaved grey hair strewn across the floor, tubes feeding into most of his larger, arterial veins, a newly completed number tattooed in the same spot as the others, 00988. The doctors died quickly, cries of explanation and begs for mercy left unfinished as Shepard dropped them all the same way, their crimson blood pooling beneath their bodies.

With a care and concern that nearly broke Garrus' heart he watched as Shepard threw off her gloves, dropping her weapon and began removing the needles one by one, the withered old man's body pale, his skin paper thin. Briefly, he stirred.

"Sely…" his soft, haggard voice whispered. Shepard stilled his words with a soft hand to his mouth, removing the last of the IV's and grabbing a soft blanket from a cabinet, covering the naked man.

"Quiet, Gunny," she said, scooping him up tenderly and making sure the blanket covered all of him, his frail body now protected from the cold operation table, "I'm getting you out of here." The old man chuckled, his voice cracking with the effort.

"Ah, it's ok, kiddo, it's almost over for me," he said quietly, gazing up at the young woman's face.

"Don't you dare give up on me, Gunny!" she scolded him harshly, setting the small body back down on the surface, her hand touching the side of his wizened face, the grey stubble brushing her palm.

"My girl," he said fondly, looking up at her proudly, "you've come so far… your parents would be proud. Hell I'm damn proud of you. You were the best recruit I ever trained," he smiled.

"Gunny, don't you do this to me," Shepard practically begged, her voice choking slightly. "You were supposed to be retired, what were you doing out here in the Hawking Eta?" she scolded him lightly. He chuckled raspilly again.

"Like you'd ever retire fully either," he chided her.

"I tried once," she retorted, "they brought me back," he chuckled again and looked up at her, his eyes filled with happiness as he took in her appearance.

"You've filled so many with hope, for the future, for all races," he wheezed slightly and shook his head when she tried to still him again. "You saved us all during that attack on the Citadel…" he gasped a few times, "and I know you're destined to do it a few more times before you finally 'retire,'" he smiled at her again.

"No, Gunny," she shook her head, "_you_ saved the galaxy," he gazed at her. "If not for you, for all you taught me, for all you did for me, I wouldn't have joined the Alliance," he grinned.

"Well doesn't that make me a damn hero," his coughs grew phlegmy, his lungs obviously filling with fluid.

"Gunny… Gunny no…" his breaths slowed, Shepard's hand on his face brushing his cheek insistently, as if she could keep the very life inside him from leaving. Her omni-tool with med gel stimulus didn't help, she watched as he slowly faded away in her arms, a small smile on his thin lips.

Finally, his breaths stopped, the movement of phlegm in his lungs ceased, his pulse slowed beneath her fingers and finally faded away all together.

"Gunny…" her voice choked, but he was gone. Her arms tightened around him slightly, the frail body held tight against her chest. Slowly she lay him down on the table, her head bowed. Tenderly one hand brushed over his face shutting his eyes for the last time. Garrus and Tali stood stricken, unsure what to do or say. Neither had any idea their commander had someone this close to her left.

Carefully, almost reverently, Shepard lay the Gunnery Sergeant's body on the table, folding his hands across his chest as if in prayer. Silently she bowed her head, reminding Garrus a lot of Thane when he made an assassination, though he was sure she wasn't praying to Kalahira.

One at a time, each hand dropped to the cold metal surface, her gloveless hands gripped the edge of the operating table, her head still bowed. A few moments later Garrus' keen hearing picked up an odd sound. It took a second before he realized it was the screeching sound of metal being bent, the operating table under Selydra's fingers from the intensity of her grip.

With a sharp turn she let the table go and headed for the door, her silence disturbed Garrus and Tali deeply.

"Tali, grab her gloves and gun and catch up with us," he called back as he ran after his commander, her long strides having already carried her a good distance ahead of him.

"Shepard! Shepard, wait!" he called after her as he sprinted to catch up, overtaking her and stepping in front of her, forcing her to skid to a stop. Unsuccessfully she tried to shift around him, the fury on her face worrying him more than a little.

"Shepard, listen, I know you're upset. You can't do what you want to do. What I know in your heart you want to do more than anything in this galaxy. Cerberus _is_ responsible, but we have something bigger than this, the Collectors," Shepard's face was tilted down; her eyes squeezed shut, fists tightly balled at her sides.

"Cerberus is the monster fueled by the Illusive Man," her voice was darker than he'd ever heard before. Without lifting her face her eyes opened and her blue eyes bored into him from the shadows of her pale face. "He will answer for his crimes… this I promise," her voice was almost a whisper that sent shivers of anxiousness down his spine. Despite their terrible war crimes, the turian couldn't help a pang of sympathy for the Illusive Man and his jaded organization. Shepard was not someone he wished to have hunting him down with murderous intent.

Shepard stepped past him and continued through the facility, the renegade agent tight on her heels. Once outside she stopped, stepping to the side where an outcropping of rocks were and sitting. Bowing her head the spectre placed a hand on each knee, taking deep breaths to slow her racing heartbeat and homicidal intentions.

The human woman knew in her heart that her rage was justified and that Cerberus had to suffer the consequences for their actions or inattention. It didn't matter that the Illusive Man might not have known about the operation or that he attempted to stop it once he knew. The problem became evident when it was _his_ money being used for these experiments. If he couldn't control the expenditure of his own resources then he should not allow the appropriation of those funds at all. Too many examples of facilities like this. Too many brutal experiments done in the name of Cerberus. Too many lost lives for a misguided cause. No more.

Movement in front of her drew her attention from her interior fury. Tali stood before her, holding out her dropped pistol, her gloves in the quarian's other hand.

"You know…" Shepard started, accepting the proffered weapon and holstering it, "I might just do what you said you hoped I was doing when you first boarded." Tali cocked her head at her friend. "Still gonna lend me that grenade?" Shepard considered her as Tali chuckled and handed the commander her gloves watching as she pulled them on one at a time.

"More than happy to oblige," Tali responded. "Though I think it is very important that we wait until this business with the Collectors is over," Shepard nodded reluctantly, her face dark once more.

"I swear to you both, before I return to the grave I will tear the galaxies apart finding the Illusive Man and will shut down Cerberus once and for all." Garrus felt a cold dread lodge in his stomach at seeing Shepard like this, though he knew he'd be by her side to the end, no matter where that took him.

"We'll keep this quiet for now," Garrus began, his unusual voice filled with steely resolve, "but rest assured, Shepard, we will both be with you, no matter where you decide to take us," Shepard looked at him, her eyes unreadable. Tali nodded her agreement. The spectre nodded, wondering what she could possibly have done to deserve such admirable friends.

Shepard disappeared for a few hours after giving Joker some coordinates, doggedly avoiding any questions from the crew as to what was down there and where they were headed, letting Chakwas' small team who extracted the victims stabilize their new patients, the med-bay in lockdown. Thus it was only Joker, Garrus and Tali who were unsurprised by the sight of the Alliance flagship as it came into range, both vessels dropping out of FTL. Shepard boarded the vessel alone to have a private conference with Admiral Hackett himself. It was hours later when Shepard returned, accompanied by a small security force and medics who transferred the victims and immediately retreated to Hackett's ship. Shepard remained close lipped about her meeting, but Garrus could guess that Cerberus' future wasn't a bright one.

Emotionless, cold, brutal. Not once did the commander reveal any of her intentions or feelings during these meetings and transfers. Cerberus… and the Illusive Man… would not see her coming until it was too late.

=/=

The metal floorboard of the STV Strontium Mule exploded outward with a slam and a loud clatter when it landed on the deck nearby, a very femininely shaped boot retreating through the new hole in the floor before Shepard's head poked out. The commander hoisted herself out of their makeshift entryway, Thane and Garrus close behind.

"I don't suppose there was a quieter or stealthier method than that?" Garrus quipped at her, noticing the shouts and approaching footsteps of the Blue Suns residents of the ship as the three took cover and prepared for combat.

"Hush, Garrus, you're cramping my style," Selydra drawled back over her shoulder at him as incoming bullets pinged around them. A merc under the effect of reave collapsed suddenly, a large hole evident in his head as Garrus chuckled, chambering a new heat sink.

"That, dear commander, is exactly the problem. You _have_ no style," Shepard chuckled as Thane made a few headshots and her biotics flashed.

"I take offense to that. Brute force is indeed a style," Thane chuckled as a whole group of Blue Suns collapsed to the floor, writhing in agony, their nervous systems overloaded by the streaming red biotic power running through them.

"As elegant as a club to the head," Thane laughed quietly, blasting the Blue Suns commander's shield with a warp, staggering the man as Garrus sniped him in the head, dropping him.

"Hey, it's all in how you swing it," Shepard bantered back, the team grinning as they made their way further into the ship, stepping over the bodies of their fallen opposition.

Apparently the Blue Suns decided to hole themselves up further in the ship, jamming the doors shut behind them to keep Shepard and her team at bay. Kicking the panel to shatter the lock, Shepard ripped off the now damaged metal plate, allowing her access to the circuit boards beneath. Weapon stowed safely on her back, the woman began reconnecting the circuits that would allow the doors to unlock, her small, deft fingers pulling at the wires and ignoring the small jolts of electricity as they reconnected, the voltage resuming its former paths. With a triumphant click, the last connection was made and the doors hissed as they unlocked, the spectre grabbed her locust and motioned the two after her.

Following the ramps to the second level, the one or two straggling mercenaries they ran across died quickly, the trio continuing around a corner into an open walkway above the console she'd just hacked.

"Heavy weapons!" Shepard shouted diving for cover as rockets slammed into the metal walls, showering shrapnel all around her while she gained her bearings posted up behind some crates. Thane made it behind cover but Garrus got slammed by the industrial crate he was headed behind, the force of the object toppling over shattering the glass railing and sending the turian over the edge to the floor below them.

"Garrus! You ok?" Shepard shouted into her comm relieved to hear him respond instantly.

"Yea, I'm fine," he sounded irritated. "I'm making my way back up," he said as he disappeared through the doors they'd previously hacked.

Sudden movement as a Blue Suns mercenary leapt out of cover caught Thane's attention, though slightly behind and to Shepard's right, out of her line of peripheral.

"Siha!" Thane yelled, warning her of the danger, both turned to incapacitate and take him down. Garrus stopped in his tracks. '_Siha?_' Thane was close enough to Shepard that he had a nickname for her? Unreasonable jealousy bubbled up inside Garrus as he continued up the ramp. With great effort he shoved the feeling aside to study later leaving his mood considerably dampened the remainder of the mission.

A few more jammed doors and fallen mercenaries later had Shepard standing in a side room, the locks of the main bridge door just hacked open, a data-pad in her hand, reading the latest update from the mercenaries. Apparently, there was infighting. One of the sergeants had fallen back and was waiting for her and her team to kill off the captain of the Blue Suns so their share of the cargo would be larger. Shepard snorted, the groups divided only made her job easier.

The alienated groups fell easily, Shepard's prior intel warning her of their ambush, allowing her to post up on the bridge, easily overcoming their pitiful forces, leaving the ship and its cargo theirs. Shepard unlocked the cargo bay, finding the contested payload.

The group gathered the goods, Shepard scooped the gold glowing plunder and pushed it into a bag before turning to leave, their mission complete.


	15. Thane Conversations and Reaper IFF

Author's Note: thank you lightan117 for the review. It's a little disheartening yet hopeful at the same time to get so many favorites and watches and only one review. I'm not sure if that means I'm doing something wrong or what. Feedback greatly helps me improve my writing so anything, criticism is welcome

(Chapter Edited)

=/=

The mess portion of the Crew Quarters deck was relatively quiet, a few lingering crew remaining at the tables to talk a little after mess was cleared away, Thane among them. The drell had taken Shepard's advice to heart, leaving his sequestering tendencies behind and mingling with more of the crew, especially enjoying Tali and Kelly's as well as usually Garrus' company.

Arms full of new metal tubing to replace a few corroded parts on the new Thalix cannon, Garrus strode through the Crew Quarters deck, nodding to the mess sergeant but ignoring Thane completely, an unusual action for him given their considerable commonality. Deciding enough was enough, the assassin intercepted him.

"Garrus, may I have a word with you?" the taller man slowed slightly and only glanced at him out of sheer politeness.

"Not right now, Thane. I have a lot I need to get done," Thane held up a hand insistently.

"Please, Garrus. It's obvious something is bothering you concerning me and I'd rather it be reconciled," Garrus stared at the doors to the battery, so close yet so far.

"There's nothing bothering me, you're obviously mistaken," a small feminine figure shimmered into existence next to them.

"Now, now, Garrus, you don't have to be an observant thief and eavesdropper to see the palpable truth to what Thane's saying," she smirked up at him and he glowered at her.

"Small, freakish woman," he growled and she grinned.

"I do my best," the air shimmered again and she was gone… though he was sure she really wasn't. Sighing heavily he held out a portion of his burden to the green skinned man before him, nodding his head for him to follow.

Garrus worked in silence for a short while, letting Thane simply follow behind, handing him tools and assisting in his endeavor to replace the ruined tubing. Garrus knew he was overreacting, taking things way out of proportion. There was probably no meaning behind it, but it bothered him none-the-less, resulting in the petty behavior he'd been exhibiting. Truth be told, he didn't want to talk to Thane about it at first because he knew it was silly, but it bothered him.

"You called Shepard 'Siha,'" he finally stated more than questioned.

"Yes."

"Why?" all at once Thane realized the intent behind the question and smiled inwardly. He had sought possible attention from Shepard and was gently declined, his assassin's instincts telling him there was someone else. Now he knew who it was, though it should have been obvious. A good choice, he decided.

"Because that is what she is," Garrus gave him an irritated expression over his shoulder but Thane held up a patient palm. "I believe that we can both agree that Shepard is somewhat of a unique individual," Thane began before pausing, his fathomless black eyes seeking out the usual console EDI spied every corner of the ship from, Garrus correctly assessing his concern.

"I disabled it long ago, continue. EDI won't be logging our conversation." Thane nodded in appreciation.

"Ah, a wise decision. I have done the same in my own quarters. But to return to your query," cocking his head slightly he contemplated his words a moment. "There are… numerous deities in my religious beliefs. Some are avengers, some are protectors, some provide guidance, others are there for comfort." Garrus continued working though he listened in rapt attention.

"During my time in service to other contracts and now here with Shepard, I have come to understand it takes a very special person to be what she is," he paused again, obviously laboring to find the correct words for his expression. "She is 'Siha.' One of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector," the turian's hands stilled on his work, finally meeting the drell's eyes, realizing how perfect the description was. "I have not told her what this means," he glanced down, his own embarrassment overcoming his inner tenacity. "I have realized as I have observed her that she desires no closer attachment to me than friendship. I am and always will be eternally grateful of that friendship; she was the first in many years.

"As unique as she is, it is a little difficult not to… desire something deeper, but I respect her decision and will not press for anything more, ever. However, she is and always will be 'Siha' to me. In many ways, she has saved me." In the back of his mind Garrus knew he was staring in a disbelieving and silly manner, he was sure he looked the part of a fool, but he couldn't bring himself to form a coherent response.

Thane was in many ways more of a man than he'd ever be. A realization decided at that moment to overload his brain with the knowledge that he wasn't the only man in Shepard's life. Others wanted her, perhaps as badly as he. Of all her crew, he considered himself the closest to her, but that didn't mean she wanted to _be_ with him.

A sigh escaped him as he sat back on his haunches, considering the reptilian man before him, ticking the tool in his hand nervously with one talon.

"I need to apologize then, Thane. I had no idea what it meant and hearing it the other day…" the assassin shook his head.

"There is no need for apology, Garrus. You are closest to the commander and it is understandable that you would wish an explanation for something as personal sounding as that was. Normally I would not have used the name outside private conversation with her, but seeing her safety at stake it … came out without thought," it was Garrus' turn to shake his head.

"I think… in a way we all hold onto Shepard possessively. As you said, she is entirely unique. Even Joker calls her 'Sel' instead." Garrus admitted and Thane paused, considering his words.

"Joker's situation is… unique… I think. He was with her when she died and he was the first to see her after her resurrection. They shared a painful experience together that none of us can fully understand," Garrus nodded his agreement.

"In my travels I've never met another like her," leaning on his knees he considered the paneling in front of him, his eyes taking on a far off light. "That aside, I have no right to respond so possessively to that kind of repartee with her. I'm an officer on her crew and a trusted squad member, nothing more," Thane smiled slightly, patting the taller man's shoulder, rising to his feet.

"You are indeed more than that, Garrus." With that, the drell disappeared through the doors to the ship's armaments, leaving a confused and slightly hopeful turian behind him.

=/=

This place was creepy. No, Shepard conceded, beyond creepy. The oppressive atmosphere, dank corridors, odd mechanical structures and the fact that they all knew they were inside a dead reaper did a lot to put them on edge. As Shepard's illuminating light mounted on her weapon revealed more blood splatters, she knew what was causing most of the feeling. Stepping over piles of corpses the commander activated yet another research console, the recorded voices echoing weirdly off the alien walls. Log after log depicted the team's descent into indoctrinated madness. Paranoia, memory loss, identity confusion, the beginnings of aggression. The reaper may be dead, but its overpowering though subtle coercive effect persisted through death, reduced from the maddeningly pervasive brainwash of Sovereign to a slow disintegration of intelligent thought.

Despite her squad mates stepping lightly behind her it seemed their footsteps echoed loudly all around them, the sounds reverberating into the dark nothingness beyond. Both the assassin and the renegade kept rifles at the ready, three independent cones of light dancing across the eerie surface of the reaper. Rounding a corner, Shepard's sense of anxiety increased twofold. The Cerberus team may be dead, but they definitely were not the only sentient beings aboard.

A hollow moan and raspy wheezing filled the air and the team leapt back as husks began clawing their way up from the sides of the catwalk, the crazed creatures luminescent blue eyes piercing the darkness. The team backpedaled, gunshots filling the oppressive, towering silence, dropping one by one the indoctrinated former Cerberus team. Slowly the entourage pressed forward, the husks continually appearing clamoring up the sides of the walkway, their bodies disintegrating under the suppressive fire of the three.

Shepard popped her heat sink, her hand glowing with unspent dark energy, preparing to hit the latest grouping of husks with a reave when from around the corner, precise shots were fired in quick succession, taking out three of the husks before the commander could unleash her biotics.

"Sniper!" Garrus shouted, the team took cover against the opposing wall once the husks were dead. The turian quickly posted up on the other side of the opening, exposing himself as little as possible before he and Shepard carefully checked the area ahead.

"I didn't get a look at who it was," Garrus said, disappointment clear in his voice.

"I thought the Cerberus team was dead," Thane stated more than questioned. "Besides, who among them would have had sniper skills such as those exhibited?" Shepard shook her head.

"Whoever it is, they're gone now, and they're fighting the reaper's indoctrinated minions as well. Though this doesn't mean they're friendly yet," Garrus nodded and checked his rifle. "Move out."

The team rounded the corner and made their way down the short set of stairs, a huge cathedral room filled with crates and supplies ahead of them. A loud rasping and dragging sound had the group's rifles snapping ahead, their short lights revealing what they'd feared.

"Scions!" Shepard shouted moments before a blue shockwave slammed its way past her. She took cover behind some low crates watching from her peripheral as Garrus and Thane posted up in safe spots to snipe from.

Garrus' gut tightened as he carefully sniped each advancing enemy, targeting the weak head under the bulbous hump of the Scions as they blasted Shepard's cover with wave after wave of deadly blue shockwaves, the crates creaked and groaned in complaint. Daringly the Commander harried them, providing the distraction the sniper duo needed.

Meticulously they dropped each enemy, the air finally going silent as the last Scion fell. Shepard stared in disgusted fascination as she approached the gruesome altar the brainwashed fodder had emerged from.

"Well this confirms that the 'dragon's teeth' as you humans call them are actually reaper technology," Garrus commented, his grayish blue eyes trained on the towering spikes, several bodies still impaled, dangling like broken dolls.

"The indoctrination must have been strong to make them create a shrine like this," Shepard murmured, activating a log that consisted only of incoherent babbling. "No more," her lips were a thin, determined line as she turned away, prepping her locust, her team trailing behind her. Briefly Shepard hacked the door, the locks hissed open as she triumphantly broke through the security firewall. Stepping into the room beyond, rifle at the ready, the trio scanned the area for hostiles.

Too late they heard the raspy sound of husks emerging behind them. Before Shepard could spin around, the husk's head exploded a high impact round dropping it instantly. The other husks died equally quickly, before the team was even able to react. In suspicion Shepard's eyes scanned the catwalks above the large cargo room, her keen eyesight picking out the startling presence of a geth. The synthetic stood, the bright red and white N7 armor piece attached to its shoulder and chest extremely apparent.

"Shepard Commander," the geth spoke, its robotic voice had a slight echo, as if several voices were speaking in unison. With a nod, the synthetic chambered its sniper rifle and disappeared into the darkness beyond, leaving the team to take care of the rapidly emerging husks.

Shepard's mind was on fire with questions, hypothesis and possibilities. A geth on a derelict reaper, it saved them for all intents and purposes, and then it spoke and obviously had prior knowledge of she herself. An area reave crippled the next wave of husks as her mind swam. The geth weren't supposed to have intelligence of any significance in single units. The more collected together, the smarter they got. Not once, even in the assault on Virmire where Shepard killed more geth than she cared to bother to count, did any of them make anything other than that robotic stuttering sound they all seemed to emit.

Of course they had to have spoken at one time; Tali had told her of conversations with their geth subordinates, especially the ones concerning their first moments of true awareness. However since the Quarian Geth war, it seemed they didn't bother communicating in an understandable manner.

Shepard slammed a husk that got too close in the head with her armored gauntlet, knocking the pitiful creature over before double tapping it in the head. So distracted was she that she failed to see the Scion round the corner, the telltale blue of a biotic shockwave unleashing in her direction. A second Scion appeared behind the first, the maze of boxes and catwalks providing the team cover, but poor visibility for long distances, removing the advantage of a sniper.

"Shepard!" Garrus yelled too late, Shepard's head snapped up as the crates next to her exploded, knocking the Commander to the deck. Disoriented she barely rolled in time to avoid the second oncoming shockwave, shoving herself to her hands and knees, everything slowing around her as a third shockwave slammed into the fuel tank to her left. The explosion threw her across the platform, her body slammed hard with a sickening thud against the crates before dropping limply to the floor.

Garrus attempted to move, but another incoming shockwave pinned him down, Thane in a similar situation on a higher catwalk, attempting to maneuver into a better position to return fire. A glance at the Commander had his heart sinking into his feet. There was no response into the comm when he called her name and a rapidly growing pool of crimson was gathering under her dark head, face turned away from him. Growling in anger and frustration he brought the closest Scion into scope and fired, armor piercing rounds hammering into the weak spots of the lumbering monsters. Thane carefully picked off the husks attempting to clamor up the stairs to their position, his current position well hidden from the ever advancing Scions.

"Thane! Take up a defensive position a little higher, within view, though covered from their shockwaves, I'll attempt to disable their forward movement," he barked into the comm, though slow moving, the maze of crates providing a little more time, if the Scions continued forward motion they would run out of cover. Those biotic shockwaves were too much damage for their shields to survive through. One hit was enough to overload them and a second would prove deadly. Two Scions meant trouble and without Shepard they were down a shooter as well as her considerable biotics.

Following Garrus' instructions instinctually, the assassin positioned himself perfectly above them, the two Scions now able to concentrate on a visible target, giving Garrus the opportunity he needed. Slowly he took down their considerable armor, the occasional sneak shot by Thane helping out. Finally both Scions fell, husks still continuing to attempt to swarm the platform where Shepard still lay motionless. At this point Garrus was frantic. Shepard had been out for quite a few minutes now and that pool of crimson hadn't gotten any smaller, in fact it had doubled in size since he'd looked last. He needed to get to her and administer med gel. Thane picked off another husk.

"Go, Garrus… they seem to be slowing down," Thane intoned into the comm, his raspy reptilian voice belying his own concern for their commanding officer. Garrus didn't need to be told twice. With a speed only a turian could pull off he leapt down to the platform and raced to the woman's side. Activating his omni-tool he carefully administered the needed med gel, gently grasping her shoulder and rolling her onto her back. Shepard's head rolled to the side limply, a deep gash evident across her forehead, down her temple and into her hairline. Other small shrapnel injuries marred her pale face, but none so devastating or deadly looking as the still profusely bleeding one on her forehead. A bloody line split her top and bottom lips on the same side, Garrus wiped away the massive amounts of blood caking the whole left side of her face and neck. Carefully he applied more med gel to her forehead and temple, hoping against hope to see her stir soon.

Thane approached quietly from behind the turian, kneeling to help support and tend to their fallen leader. Just as Garrus was starting to lose hope her dark lashes fluttered lightly against her pale cheeks. A soft sigh and an uncomfortable stir, her brows dropped in obvious discomfort before her blue eyes slit open.

"And here I thought I was going to get to open my eyes and see some afterlife paradise… instead I get to see your ugly mug," Shepard scoffed, grunting in obvious pain and disorientation as she struggled to sit up. Garrus chuckled and held her down forcefully.

"Give it a second, Shepard. Let the med gel kick in and stop some of your bleeding. You got hit pretty hard," Shepard raised a dark eyebrow at him and Thane, who still hovered worriedly over her.

"You two make terrible parents," Garrus dropped his head in amusement and Thane smiled, "now let me up before I shoot one of you." Slowly her two squad mates helped the woman to her feet, steadying her for a moment before she regained her balance and equilibrium. Pulling off a glove she examined her wound with the tip of her fingers.

"Oh, Dr. Chakwas is going to have a field day with this," Shepard groaned, rewarded by another pair of chuckles. "So happy you both find this so amusing," she glowered at them and they both shrugged. "Let's get moving, I want that reaper IFF and to get off this damn ship," with a scowl she moved past her team, the two of them trading amused glances before they fell into step behind their Commander, grumbled mutterings floating back to them concerning her hatred of husks. Though her head appeared to still be fairly badly injured and hadn't quite stopped bleeding yet they knew there was nothing they could say to dissuade her from something if she'd made her mind up. Instead they decided to keep a careful eye on her back to make sure no further harm came to her.

Acquiring the reaper IFF proved much easier than the team had originally thought, though now to get off the ship they needed to disable the mass effect core, an action that would disable the kinetic barrier, thus would allow them to leave, but also send the reaper plummeting into the core of the nearby planet it was orbiting. The doors to the engineering room slid open to reveal the geth sniper they'd run into before at the console just beneath the reactor attempting to do something. A husk got too close while its back was turned and the synthetic crumpled to the ground, the hit obviously shorted something out.

Husks appeared to be crawling out of the shadows all around them, emerging from all sides of the room. Garrus and Thane quickly stowed their sniper rifles, the high powered weapons useless in such close quarters, pulling assault rifles instead, attempting to keep the pressure off Shepard as she hammered the armor and plating on the reactor core. Finally her patience and their vigilance paid off and the core blew, everything powering down and the ensuing explosion creating a distraction from the clamoring husks.

"What about the geth," Thane questioned as the team made ready to leave.

"Tali said they've never managed to take a working one hostage before," Shepard commented quietly as the ship shuddered beneath their feet, already the effects of the mass effect core being offline causing the ship to destabilize.

"You know the risks," Garrus commented, "that's all I'm going to say," he said, his opinion obvious.

"We'll argue about it later, we're taking it for now," Shepard announced abruptly, hauling the synthetic to an upward position, she let Garrus support the other side as they hurried in the direction of the exit, Thane covering their retreat with suppressing fire.

As they exited the reaper, the Normandy came into view at the rendezvous point, Thane and the ship's guns picking off some of the advancing enemy as Garrus and Shepard threw the offline geth through the air to float through the Normandy's airlock, the Commander motioned Garrus to follow before signaling Thane to jump as well. Once both were away she leapt after them, the gravity-less vacuum of space sent her floating easily through the Normandy's door and to safety as the reaper continued to accelerate toward the planet below.

"Well, there doesn't appear to be any permanent damage," Chakwas commented, her medical tool finally shutting down, the soft whirring silencing, "but it may take a few days for the injury to completely disappear," she glanced at her patient. "I'd say you were extremely lucky. For how bad the situation sounded you seem to have come out relatively unscathed. The gash on your head has responded exceptionally well to treatment and I see neither damage on the brain scans nor any unusual neural activity," the doctor leaned against her desk and considered the woman before her.

"I'd encourage you to take it easy the next few days, but I know you have a penchant for completely ignoring my orders so I'll just warn you that you might experience a little disorientation or dizziness when standing, crouching or sitting too quickly over the next few days, so please be aware of how this may hamper your combat abilities." Shepard nodded in acquiescence.

"Thank you, Doctor, always a pleasure," Shepard smiled and Chakwas snorted. "I'll await your next injury/visit to see how your head is doing," Shepard grinned good naturedly and the doctor shooed her away.


	16. Hammerhead and Rice & Research

Author's Note: Thank you so much for all the kind reviews! Your time is appreciated! Little short, but I managed to get this one out relatively timely. Read and review! :3

=/=

"Oh stars, I'm going to be sick," Garrus groaned earning a slight smile from Thane seated next to him, his arm raised, one hand securely gripping the overhead hand hold, his other firmly attached to the center console for extra stability.

"WOOOOOOOOOO! DAMN I LOVE THIS THING!" downshifting for more power, Shepard gunned the motor on her newest toy, the M-44 Hammerhead hover-all-terrain vehicle. Cerberus had notified the commander of research being done on the vehicle when their communication with the science team had become inexplicably terminated. It became imperative that her squad extract the vehicle, despite its experimental nature. Shepard seemed all too eager to put it through its paces.

"It would appear your driving skills have not improved since the Mako was retired," Garrus groaned earning a chuckle from the woman in the driver's seat.

"What's the matter, Garrus? Can't take a little speed?" she laughed again as she pushed the throttle all the way open, the turian's stomach dropping like a rock as she launched it off the cliff before them, bursting the hoverjets briefly to propel them across to the opposite side, the vessel jostling as it landed, continuing to jettison along.

The versatility of the vehicle was amazing and truth be told, Garrus couldn't wait to get it back on the Normandy and under his careful scrutiny and curious tools. Unlike the Mako it was capable of full 360 movement, being unrestrained by axles and wheels. Shepard took full advantage of that versatility, racing the small craft in all directions, the cannon blasting, stabilizing jets firing in the opposite direction to keep the Hammerhead in place. The geth didn't stand a chance against the amazing technology and Shepard's keen aim, even with a cannon and at ridiculous speeds.

Garrus leaned over to his drell companion.

"If you think her driving is atrocious now, try being in a vehicle limited to two axles and four wheels and on a planet with limited gravitational pull. I swear I thought we were going to slide backwards to our deaths several times," Garrus made a forlorn face provoking a smile from Thane.

"And we came out just fine, now didn't we? You should learn to trust me a little more," Shepard snapped back, the humor evident in her voice.

"Oh, so trusting your strategic plans as we go sprinting headlong into oncoming gunfire isn't enough? I have to trust you to gun a vehicle down a ramp with geth on all sides trying to blow us up while you race at reckless speeds into a miniature mass effect portal… oh wait…" Shepard was chuckling. "I didn't have any choice in that one…" he smiled.

"Uh-huh," Shepard jammed the throttle forward again and pulled back harshly, rocketing the small craft off another cliff and hopping it mid air to land safely though with a sharp jostle on the other side.

=/=

"Shepard, I don't think this place is entirely stable…" the turian said quietly as if his very voice vibrations were going to cause the compound to collapse around them.

"Really? Thank you, Captain Obvious," Garrus glowered at her back, Thane stepping past him with a chuckle as they continued further into the abandoned research center. Apparently the team had been researching the recently explosive core when they vanished. From the looks of the facility, Shepard wasn't sure they got out alive.

Debris scattered the metal walkways which she easily stepped over, followed closely by her companions. Various data pads strewn around the command room spoke of a very unstable foundation, the electronics seemingly having an adverse effect on the unstable core.

Unable to access their research due to the offline power, Shepard approached the main terminal like a woman approaching a ticking time bomb. Tapping her omni-tool lightly she prepared a link with EDI to upload any relevant data before flipping the power switch.

At first nothing seemed to happen out of the ordinary, the soft whirring sound of the systems powering up filled the small room, Shepard quickly uplinking her omni-tool with the onboard systems, establishing a good connection and sending the signal to EDI on the Normandy.

A slow rumble began beneath them, the sound soft at first, rapidly increasing in intensity until all three squad members were glancing around in deep concern.

"Shepard, I suggest we get out of here… NOW!" Thane had to shout over the roar of the unstable core crumbling beneath them. Shutting down her tool they all made a mad dash for the door, Shepard taking up the rear, beams collapsing all around, causing the team to need to vault over and duck beneath them, the very floor beneath them rocking, throwing them off balance. Haphazardly leaping from secure foothold to the next they finally made it to the garage where the Hammerhead was, EDI finally intoning in their ears, letting them know most of the planet's core was finally collapsing, making it impossible for the Normandy to close in for a pickup until they reached a safer location.

The engines roared to life as Shepard leapt into the driver's seat and gunned the engine, not waiting for Garrus and Thane to strap in, the turian and drell nearly falling on one another as the small craft rocketed forward, vents of molten magma exploding all around them.

A three fingered, talon tipped hand grasped her seat back as she increased the velocity, the turian barely holding on as the craft sped at reckless speeds around corners, the metal creaking with the strain of remaining intact.

"Shepard… Shepard the lava's rising…Shepard…" Garrus insistently intoned in her ear, his grip tightening on her seat back, the chasm before them rapidly filling in with molten rock.

"So I see, Garrus, thank you," she shot back with a grunt as she slammed the throttle all the way open, the edges of the display screen blurring slightly, the hoverjets kicking into overdrive and overheating as she shot them over the ever increasing flow of lava, landing safely on the other side. The small craft zoomed through the caves before them, taking every elevated route the commander came across, streams of obscenities escaping her.

Abruptly the slope they were on plummeted down, the commander swearing as they barely escaped heat damage from the rapidly rising lava. Down shifting for more power she hopped the vehicle over a few safe spots in the lake that was forming around them, traversing the danger to the relative safety of the other side.

Following the direction Garrus pointed in, Shepard piloted them to a ledge high enough for the Normandy to make a pick up.

=/=

Mealtime had become one of the times of the day Garrus had begun looking forward to. A tradition had begun that found quite a few members of the team gathered around the table in the mess enjoying one another's company and partaking of the evening meal. Even Thane and Jack were becoming regulars though Jack still refused to say much.

Exiting his work station with enthusiasm, the turian scanned the gathered inhabitants of the mess hall, finding Shepard strangely absent, the din of excited chatter indicating her lack of presence possibly hadn't been noted yet.

"Where's Shepard?" the turian asked Tali who happened to be sitting at the end of the table talking with Kelly.

"I'm not sure," the quarian replied looking up at the towering alien. "She came down with a data pad in hand looking extremely distracted. Without talking to anyone she got a bowl of that weird sticky rice stuff she always eats and meandered out of the room, still reading," Tali shrugged and turned back to Kelly.

Garrus contemplated a moment before moving unnoticed to the elevator, his curiosity peaked. A few moments later the small vessel decelerated and the doors hissed open, heralding his arrival at the captain's quarters. Upon no response to his hails at her door he simply entered, thinking maybe she'd gone elsewhere and was determined to find her whereabouts.

Shepard was definitely there. He found her sitting cross legged on her bed, her profile facing him, bowl of rice forgotten in her lap and her fork dangling out of her pursed lips in a very peculiar manner. Her intense scrutiny of the data pad held up to her face made him wonder at first if she'd simply not even heard him at all, but he found that to be untrue a moment later.

"Garruth… thith ith increh-dih-bul," she said her words slurred around the fork still dangling from her mouth. In irritation she removed it and stabbed it into her bowl of rice as if she'd forgotten it was there and its very presence offended her before returning to reading.

"The element zero I brought aboard from our last mission gave Mordin an idea for increasing biotic power output. He took the schematics of the neural implants of every biotic on board and began tweaking them monitoring their biofeedback output capabilities and limitations as well as genetic allowances for biotic sensitivity…" Shepard had already lost him. Biotic talk was mumbo jumbo to him.

Beeps and whirring filled the air as Garrus realized she'd stopped talking mid-sentence and had begun moving files and inputting numbers and calculations on additional data pads spread on the bed to her left, her brow furrowed in concentration. Completely oblivious to his actions, Garrus moved around the bed so he was facing her, pulling out the chair from her desk and sitting down, folding his hands as he leaned forward on his knees, watching her ignore him and her almost untouched food.

"If these test results are right… with enough element zero and time, Mordin can increase the damage and duration of biotic release by…" more beeps as Shepard moved calculations and equations across the illuminated and transparent surfaces, "over 30%... maybe more…" Shepard's brow dropped further as she continued studying.

Still unconscious of his movements, Garrus leaned forward and removed the bowl from her lap, careful not to touch her in any way that could be deemed inappropriate.

"Garrus, this is…" her train of thought was completely interrupted by a forkful of rice nearly stabbed into her face, instead opening her mouth and biting it, avoiding a painful collision.

"Shepard, I'm a tech expert and a sniper. I don't understand all this biotic babble. Circuit boards, cracking programs and headshots are what I do." The human stared at him blankly a moment before chewing her food slowly, finally processing everything, including the fact that he'd just spoon fed her… or fork fed, same difference.

"You biotics confuse me and make me nervous. All that dark energy at your fingertips just doesn't seem natural," he said shaking his head and shoving another forkful in her mouth before she could object. "And you should eat more," he said looking at her sternly and threatening her with another full fork of food which she leaned back, half smiling past the mouthful of rice she was still chewing.

"As much as I appreciate the thought, Garrus," she said chuckling once she swallowed, "I don't need a turian feeding me like a child," he leveled her with a flat expression.

"Yes, you were doing such a stellar job of feeding yourself when I came in," the sentinel chuckled and stole the bowl from him, which he let go of without a fight.

"I was just distracted, I planned on eating it…" she raised an eyebrow at him as she ate her rice, hoping to appease him.

"Oh right, plus that measly amount of food is supposed to sustain your energy levels during our missions? I don't think so, young lady," he said chidingly and Shepard laughed.

"By the stars, Garrus, what are you, my father now?" her eyes gleamed with mirth and he decided he never wanted anyone else, ever.

"Only if you insist on making me," he scolded back and she chuckled, cocking her head at him slightly.

"So, biotics make you nervous?" she questioned innocently, her physique shimmering as dark energy gathered subtly in her body, flowing through her nervous system like water. The feeling was always comforting to her. Even if she lost her weapon, she was still a weapon.

"Only when you do crap like that," he said grumpily and Shepard laughed heartily.


	17. Videos Lost

Author's Note: My apologies for how long it took me to get this chapter out. Thank you everyone for the reviews, favorites and follows :3. I think I'm done editing the other chapters, a lot was added to some chapters, just some minor edits to others. Hopefully it overall improved the story. As always read and review!

=/=

The halls of the Normandy were relatively quiet as Garrus strode from the CIC toward the armory. Despite his large taloned feet he made hardly a noise as he turned the corner, studying the data-pad gripped in one hand. Soft voices drifted to him from around the next corner and gave him pause. Beginning to turn at first something caught his attention and ceased his retreat. Miranda was speaking in hushed tones with Jacob about something called the "Lazarus Project," something he vaguely remembered hearing was the Cerberus project that brought Shepard back. Intrigued he stepped closer.

"I don't agree, Miranda. I can't believe you even considered it. I for one am glad the Illusive Man saw reason in that matter," Jacob said firmly.

"I don't care what you think. Personally I think this mission would have gone a lot smoother thus far if Shepard had been on some sort of leash. As it is, I see her morals completely clashing with the plans the Illusive Man has," she spat back.

"If he thought it would work out that way, don't you think he would have agreed with you and put in some sort of fail safe?" Jacob reasoned with her. A soft sigh.

"I don't know. I just know she's turned out to be exactly what I thought she was going to. Fortunately she doesn't seem to remember any of the trauma of bringing her back… which is good," she said softly in defeat.

"I know what you mean… from what I heard from some of the medical team she kept appearing to surface despite loads of sedatives. I know you guys had a close call at one point where you thought she'd regained conscious. Did the lab get destroyed? Or re-purposed?" Jacob asked in curiosity.

"As far as I know all the files were still intact. That kind of investment doesn't get thrown in the trash or left to rot you know…" she said with a grimace. "I'm just glad Shepard was up to the task and we got out of there alive…"

"You and me both," Jacob agreed. Garrus had heard enough. Quietly as he came he slunk away to the elevator. A project as expensive as that… there must be files or vids somewhere. And he knew just the person who would have access to something like that.

=/=

"Hey, Shepard," the spectre looked over her shoulder at the taller turian. "I have some business I need to attend to, I won't be long," he told her quietly with a wave, disappearing into the crowds of Illium leaving behind the curious glances of Shepard and Tali.

"Is it just me, or was that unusual?" Tali asked placing a hand on her slender hip.

"No, you'd be right. Whatever, he's a big boy," Shepard shrugged, turning back to the merchant console she was considering buying an upgrade from.

Garrus moved like a man with a purpose, deftly weaving his way through the throngs of asari, humans and other races. He knew his time was short and he hoped the information would be readily available. Taking the stairs three at a time, he paused before the door briefly before hailing for entry determinedly. A soft voice within bade him enter and he strode into the room, stopping before the desk that was the center piece of the space.

"Garrus…" Liara looked up from her computer, standing briefly, an unreadable expression on her features. "You come alone…" it was a statement as much as a question. Garrus nodded somberly.

"I need information… as much as you have on a certain subject…" Liara nodded, already seeing where this might be headed before seating herself and motioning for Garrus to do the same.

"Whatever I can do to help you, rest assured, Garrus, it will be done."

"I need to know about the 'Lazarus Project,'" Liara steepled her fingers and considered him a moment.

"I understand why. You don't need to explain that. However… I want to make sure you understand the possible repercussions of attaining this information," she looked at him pointedly, understanding immediately that Shepard and Garrus had become much closer than they had on the first Normandy. He nodded grimly.

"Trust me… I've had a lot of time to think about it," Liara studied him a moment longer then nodded her head.

"First off, I wish you both well. I always knew you would be a better fit than Alenko ever would for her," Garrus opened his mouth to object that they weren't an item but she held up an elegant blue hand. "Spare me, Garrus. It's so painfully obvious. If you haven't begun yet, then you will soon. Of that I'm sure," Garrus' mouth snapped shut with a click. "I can do you one step better even than what you have already asked for," Garrus looked at her quizzically and she smiled slightly. "You think you were the only person to miss our dear Commander as much as you did?" her smile was one of un-reciprocated love and Garrus was at a loss for words.

"Worry not, my friend. I have well gotten over my infatuation and I do truly wish you both well, however I do also know that your time is short so we will wrap this up briefly," reaching into her desk she pulled out two data chips and slid them toward him on the smooth surface, one delicate finger on each. "This," she tapped with her forefinger, "contains video files and logs for the entire 'Lazarus Project' from beginning to completion as well as the final hours of the projects operation. To include the inevitable escape from the facility," she looked at him pointedly pausing a moment.

"This," she tapped the second with her middle finger, "is the video and data log for the massacre of Akuze," the turian's eyes went impossibly wide. "Do not ask me how I acquired either of these, suffice to say, I've had copies of the Akuze incident since I was on board the original Normandy," she looked at the second disk a moment. "I do not believe Shepard even knows this second video exists. I will leave that to your discretion," she said finally removing her fingers. Garrus stared at them a moment before carefully reaching forward and retrieving them.

"What payment…?" he began but Liara held up her hand again.

"If it means Shepard will be happy, that is payment enough," she said with finality. Garrus stared at her a moment before nodding mutely. Standing he turned to take his leave, her soft voice stopped him briefly at the door. "Garrus… take care of her… please," he looked over his shoulder and nodded solemnly and disappeared down the stairs, tucking the data chips away for safe keeping.

Selydra looked up from the table she and Tali were waiting at as Garrus approached, her kicked back posture signaling they'd been waiting a little while.

"Where'd you go, Garrus?" Tali asked curiously, standing and stretching. The turian refused to meet Shepard's gaze, a point Shepard noted right away.

"I just met up with an old friend briefly since it looks like we'll be heading to the Omega Relay sometime fairly soon," he shrugged non-committally, but something didn't sit well with Shepard. Shoving the feeling aside for later she motioned to the two and they made their way through the crowd back to the Normandy.

=/=

Tick…tick…tick... Garrus sat alone in the forward battery staring off into space, his talons nervously dropping each data disk on to the smooth surface before him like poker chips, the sharpened appendage tapping the top of the Akuze disk before picking them up again. Information was power. Cerberus had a leg up over Shepard in that they knew everything that went on to her while she was "dead." But this… this video log of Akuze. Garrus hesitated, his fingers stilling. This was intimately personal to Shepard. She spoke of Akuze like it wasn't a big deal, but seeing her reaction to the thresher maw and her quiet solitude after receiving a message from Toombs, he knew it may be a healed wound, but it was a deep one. One you never forget.

Was it even right to watch it? Through all the news vids and official reports done on the "massacre of Akuze" very little information was ever forthcoming. They were all wiped out, later it was learned by a Cerberus test group of thresher maws, and Shepard and Toombs were the only survivors. Staring at them intently, he willed the silent discs to give him the answers he sought. Viewing the files could be a breach of trust in his opinion. However, if he handed them to Shepard, he would never get to see them. He'd gone as far as to actually seek their existence out, part of him perhaps hoped that nothing existed. Instead he now sat with more than he'd bargained for.

As if coming to a decision to an inward struggle he sat forward, pausing momentarily to consider the discs again before delicately sliding the Lazarus Project OSD from under the Akuze one, leaving it on the surface before him and inserting the other into his computer. Steeling himself he watched briefly as the images began to flash across his holographic screen, audio log accompaniment in deadpan diction as if this were a biology instruction video.

In amazement he watched the excitement of the team, led by Miranda as they finally received the Commander's body. What was left of it. To his amazement she was mostly intact, just a charred husk in comparison to the lithe form she had now. "Meat and tubes," was how Jacob had described it. It hardly seemed possible the charred mass on the operating table was their Commander.

The video skipped forward quite a bit due in part to the individuals recording and due in part to Garrus' prompting. He watched her armor, fused to her 'corpse' removed piece by piece and a slew of injections begin. Scientific curiosity got the better of him as he watched their processes in reviving the young woman. The care, concern and procedure they poured into returning her to how she had been before the Collector attack astounded him. Despite logs depicting Miranda's concern for their expensive investment turning on them and the need for 'fail safes' that should be implanted, the Illusive Man's instructions were clear: Shepard would not be altered. She was a hero the way she had been born and they would return her as thus.

It was easy to pretend the mass of burnt flesh on the table wasn't Shepard until her features began to emerge once more. Flesh healed and hair grew back. More than once he found himself looking away, disturbed at the sight before him on the video. Reconstruction on her face seemed to take the longest and Garrus watched in horrid fascination as they made sure the muscles overlaid correctly, using reference vids, photos and medical reports before letting the skin regrow naturally. Painstakingly slowly he watched her reform on the table over the span of two long years.

A particular sequence caught his eye and he slowed the video speed to normal, zooming in on the operating table Shepard was laid out on, a small white blanket covered very little of her midsection. The commander stirred, immediately garnering the alarmed attention of the medical team. She was still a puzzle work of seams, flesh not fully grown in some areas, the skin that was there was sickly pale with a new born babe pinkish hue in others; her dark hair had grown out just enough to cover her head in a fine blackish fuzz.

Miranda and a man named Wilson who appeared to be her assistant desperately tried to sedate the rapidly awakening woman. Shepard's breathing became labored and erratic, her heartbeat reaching a critical rate. It was much too soon for her to be coming out of her coma. Watching the woman squirm on the table, she reached a hand out which Miranda pushed back to the table gently, the sedatives finally kicked in and brought her back into a normal range, Garrus realized she'd been reaching for Miranda's throat. Shepard had regained conscious enough to attempt to defend herself. Again Garrus wondered at the mental strength of the woman he followed as she lapsed back into an unconscious state on the video before him, the team sighed in deep relief, an argument broke out among them as to how Shepard could possibly have begun to wake up. Garrus snorted. In all their research, they obviously still didn't know her very well.

Finally, they deemed her ready to be clothed in preparation for her eventual reawakening. They had a whole long procedure they planned to follow to wake the Commander up and ensure she was in her right mind and nothing had been altered. Many on the team were aware of the Commander's prowess and though she would suffer acute atrophy on wakefulness, it didn't diminish her lethality. Preparations were being made for a 'safe room' for her to awaken in. A padded cell was more like it. A few more weeks were due to pass before this and the team left a still heavily scarred Shepard to heal on the table one night, dimming the lights as they all exited the premises.

Explosions began to rock the laboratory, the camera fuzzing slightly before clearing again on the unconscious body of Shepard. Alarms began to blare and Miranda's voice called out over the comm, insistently urging Shepard to wake up. For the longest time the Commander did not stir and Garrus watched, his breath caught in his throat. He knew of course that she got out ok, otherwise she wouldn't be here now, but it was still nerve-wracking.

After what seemed like an eternity the Commander stirred slightly, the overhead camera looking straight down on her form. A very annoyed expression creased her face; one hand raised and gripped her jaw as if she'd been punched firmly across the face, her expression deepened as more pain made itself evident throughout her body. Over the comm Miranda was apologizing that her wounds were not yet healed but that she needed to hurry if she wanted to get out alive.

Slowly Shepard seemed to take stock of the situation, an odd expression crossing her incision mapped features as the realization set in that she was alive. Forcing herself to a sitting position, she gripped her ribcage and grunted before sliding off the table, the hard line of her features revealing how much pain she was actually in. Despite it all, Shepard made her way across the room and suited up in some armor they had fitted for her and armed herself, before limping lightly to the exit and off camera.

Sitting back as the screen went blank he considered these revelations. It really didn't give him any information he didn't already know, simply a confirmation that yes indeed, Shepard is whole and untainted. The realization gave him more relief than he'd anticipated. Now his eyes fell on the second OSD sitting innocently on the desk before him.

Sighing lightly he slid it into the drive. He'd come this far, no reason to back out now. "TOP SECRET" flashed in bold letters across the screen and he smirked, settling down to watch as the video began, slight static marred the otherwise dark holo-vid screen. It appeared to be a large military camp. Suddenly a young woman and several young men appeared on the camera waving excitedly.

"Hi Mom! Hi Dad!" several voices chorused, their youthful faces full of vigor and vitality, their uniforms none the worse for wear, but it was obvious they'd been on assignment for quite some time. The video continued for quite some time, clearly a soldier made video with the intent to send home to family, the entire camp beginning to bunk down for the night. Garrus' keen eyes could detect no sign of Shepard thus far, but then she'd always been the quiet sort.

Briefly the camera went dark as the apparent user had shut it off finally. Momentarily images began to flash wildly riddled with static and screams. The video cleared as the camera man was running, making it apparent that it was a camera attached to his helmet. From the way he was moving and asking what was going on, it was evident he didn't know the video had been turned on.

Officers were screaming to arm themselves, the young man looked up, screaming in horror as a thresher maw slammed it's head into the ground, the dizzying perspective of the camera changing as he fell over, his legs out in front of him, watching in horror with two sets of eyes as the officer he'd been speaking with was almost neatly seared in half by the clenching jaws of the creature. A sucking sound and then a sickening thud sounded right next to the camera, the young man make retching noises as he looked down at the bloody set of legs with no torso. The man was screaming indiscriminately as he turned and ran back toward the mobile huts they'd set up for the night, soldiers unloaded their rifles into the thresher maws with everything they had as the two beasts ripped through the camp.

The camera fell briefly on a young woman partly trapped beneath an overturned hut, her leg caught by the corner. The young man did nothing to help her, instead arming himself, but the turian would recognize that shape anywhere. That had been a much younger, slender Shepard. Several gunshots sounded nearby and the man looked down to see Shepard free herself, the now swiss cheese metal released her leg easily.

Moments later the spot she had vacated was drenched in thresher acid, the meal hissed and screeched in protest. Bodies littered the ground, blood was everywhere as the last few soldiers attempted to make a stand. Nearby one worm thrust up through the ground, grabbing a man that Garrus now recognized as Toombs and dragged him kicking and screaming beneath the surface. The man watched in horrid fascination as two more were gutted by the slamming, spined heads of the worms, the two creatures striking and spitting alternately. Shepard in the peripheral of the camera threw herself around, literally, her quick moves barely escaping certain death as they struck again and again, occasionally knocking her to the ground as they caught her with their spines.

Momentarily distracted watching her, the camera man was caught by surprise, the thresher maw lunged forward and seized his body in its jaws, easily snapping him and silencing his screams. The camera, still attached to his head, bounced several times as it finally came to a still, conveniently pointed at Shepard as she was harried by the worms. Almost all other sounds of combat stilled as the second worm made quick work of the rest of the team, the first bashing, striking and trying to close its considerable maw around some part of Shepard.

Disappearing into the darkness beyond the light of the camp, the woman retreated, her rifle fire illuminating the darkness as she ran, the maws continued after her. Rewinding the video he stilled it and enhanced on a frame of Shepard. The young soldier was covered in wounds, a deep gash ran through her left eyebrow and over her left eye into her cheek, another split her lips on the right side. Blood matted her hair and ran down her neck, her armor pierced in several spots, rivulets of crimson ignored in favor of attempting to stay alive. Her expression was what caught his attention most. The ferocious snarl she leveled her enemy with was impressive. He'd yet to see quite so emotional a reaction from her in person with the exception of storming the Cerberus facility in the Hawking Eta. Even then it had been a controlled rage… one dictated by rage, but controlled nonetheless. Although as he considered her softer features, she was quite a bit younger here. The gaunt of her cheeks hadn't quiet hollowed out yet and her features held a softness that humans seemed to carry from their teen years into early adulthood.

Leaning back, he stared at the image without really seeing it, a sudden thought occurring to him. The early part of the video had shown a rather large group. Around 50 judging from the size of their makeshift garrison. His impression from the reports of the Akuze massacre had been that it was a small group, a platoon at most. Shepard hadn't just lost her teammates… she'd been the sole survivor of her entire unit!

Remembering what Liara had said, he punched up a command on his console and was rewarded with the appearance of a few data files popping up. Easily sifting through them he had access to what appeared to be almost every piece of information the Alliance military had on the unit massacred on Akuze. The file included a report from Alliance Command revealing that they didn't believe it to be an accidental attack, but there was no forthcoming conclusion to a very small and limited investigation they had done and the matter was dropped. He stared at the files in irritation, reading through the list of over 50 marines who had died on what was supposed to be routine ops. They _knew_ it wasn't an accident, but they didn't bother looking into it further. The bastards. Cerberus has to have had an inside agent in the Alliance to shut down the investigation.

Here it was, the moment of truth. What to do with this information and these videos? Piercing blue eyes stared through the still image of Shepard, lost in thought. There really was no way of predicting how Shepard would react first of all to the existence of the videos and secondly to him having viewed them. They did present a clearer picture of the woman behind the Commander mask. She wasn't always strong, impenetrable Shepard. The young woman who survived Akuze was a subordinate. A foot soldier. Just someone with an extremely strong will to live and the luck of the universe itself.

Glancing at his security cams, he noted a lack of Shepard's apparent presence across the ship. Considering a moment, he realized it would be a terrible breach of trust in their friendship if he _didn't_ give her the vids.

"EDI," he said curtly activating the system, allowing the AI vocal contact with him, "where is the Commander currently?"

"Commander Shepard is in her personal quarters," the disembodied voice intoned.

"Is she busy?" he asked, tapping a talon against his plated chin.

"Impossible to determine," the AI said briefly, the turian looked up curiously, "there is too much noise in the Commander's quarters to decipher her actions," EDI said logging out, the comm going silent. Too much noise? Garrus stood, swiping the OSD's and making his way up to the loft of the ship, rolling over in his head what she might possibly be doing that caused so much noise that EDI was unable to figure out if she were busy.

_Noise_ was a very good term for what was rhythmically emanating from the Captain's cabin. As the door hissed open, the sound drown out by the music assaulting his ears he grimaced slightly and entered, his eyes scanning her small room for the Commander herself. She wasn't immediately apparent so he took a few steps further in, now standing between her office and fish tank, the holographic panel on the wall displaying a video of some kind, though his angle was sufficient as to make it impossible to determine what it was. Moving into her office he tilted his head so he could see better.

In a 2D format that must have dated back centuries, a _music video_ was playing on the normally holographic console, images of the band members and other odd situations flashing across in what he was sure was described as an _artistic_ style to those that enjoyed that sort of thing. The sounds, such as they were, mostly consisted of screaming rather than singing, the figures on the screen grungy looking, covered in tattoos, hair hanging in their faces, or completely bald, tattered clothing he assumed must have been the height of fashion back then. Stars above how did they tolerate such low level technology? He stared at the screen intently, the image completely flat, bereft of the layering most imagery came in. And the_ music_… despite himself he found himself feeling a bit exhilarated, the beat and pure anger in the song a far cry from most of the current day sounds.

His mission was still unaccomplished though and he scanned the small abode further, finally finding the Commander on the level below, in her usual tank top and under armor pants, a data pad under her face as she did pushups. After quite some time she shifted, altering the position of her hands flicking the data pad to the next column as the song changed, the lull between the harsh sounds too short to allow him to interrupt her exercise. Fascinated he watched her continue her motions, occasionally changing the positioning of her hands to work out different muscles, the tendons cording and flexing with each movement.

Stepping back to sit down, something reflecting in the bathroom window caught his attention and he stepped briefly in the open door. Her mirror was cracked, a spider web of fractures emanated from what looked like the impact of a fist, judging by the size and the dried blood in the central cracks. Staring at it a moment he decided he would as her when he got a chance.

Sitting in her office chair, he was afforded a great view of the holo screen and watched the videos as they flickered by, each song similar to the last yet greatly different from one another. He never knew Shepard liked angry music. Made sense though when he thought about it. She was so reserved all the time.

After some time the woman finally stood, retrieving her data pad from the floor, still reading it intently. Looking up in surprise to find someone in her office she quirked an eyebrow at the unexpected visitor and touched the panel, shutting down the _noise_.

"Why Garrus, you didn't have to subject yourself to my ridiculous taste in music just to speak with me, you could have kicked me and let me know you were there," she teased him, grabbing a towel from the sofa and mopping off her face and neck.

"Interrupting your workout session and depriving you of the opportunity to listen to classical music? I think not, dear Commander," he said, his mandibles twitching. She grinned.

"Yea, yea… early twenty first century human music doesn't do it for ya, huh?" she tossed her data pad onto the sofa and padded into the bathroom, leaving the door open so they could keep talking, the water in the sink came on out of his vision.

"I hadn't thought such relics still existed," he teased, glancing at the light pouring from the bathroom. "Speaking of your bathroom, I was wondering how your mirror broke," the water stopped and her movement ceased, she was silent for a while.

'It was the first opportunity I'd had to see my face since waking up. There were incision marks everywhere… the glow of my cybernetics could be seen through the 'cracks' in my skin," he remembered seeing something similar when she'd rescued him. "It… really upset me. It wasn't… me… staring back at me… it was some Cerberus freak creation… it was too much to handle too soon. I should've listened to Chakwas and not looked so soon," he felt even guiltier for acquiring the OSD's.

"I… actually came here to give you something, Shepard," he said, the seriousness of his voice making her glance out the door at him, an unreadable expression on her face.

He stood and moved toward the door, leaving the OSD's on her desk.

"I acquired these from an acquaintance who wasn't sure if you even wanted them, but I thought it a breach of trust if you didn't know they existed when I did…" Shepard glanced at the two data chips briefly then at the retreating back of her friend as he rounded the corner and left her room.

=/=

A few hours passed and Garrus had yet to hear from the Commander at all since he'd left her room abruptly. He'd made a wreck of the poor battery, cleaned it up, then wrecked it again in his nervous state. The comm lit up just as he was putting the last of his tools away for the second time, his head swiveled in that direction in nervous anticipation.

"Garrus, meet me in my stateroom at your earliest convenience," the comm went silent without time for him to give reply. _Crap._

Garrus stepped off the elevator, his stomach tied in knots. She had to be pissed. The door slid open at his approach and he stepped within, his eyes adjusting momentarily to the familiar gloom of her loft. Shepard was sitting at her desk, an image was zoomed in and enhanced of Toomb's face as he was being dragged underground, his terrorized features taking up the whole screen. Not quite what he was expecting.

"Shepard… I…"

"I had forgotten how young we both were," she said softly, "it seems like a lifetime ago," Garrus looked down at the still young woman in dismay. This hadn't been his intention in giving these to her.

"Shepard, I didn't give these to you so you could beat yourself up over something that wasn't your fault…" the turian said quietly, crouching down next to her chair as she stared blankly at the screen. Silence filled the void a few heartbeats.

"I know," she sighed leaning back, looking up at the ceiling. Leaning forward he punched a few commands on the computer, pulling up a different frame.

"Now this one…" the still of Shepard's youthful, snarling features brightened the room, "should be put in a hall of fame somewhere for 'galaxy's scariest,'" he teased, pleased to see her grimace slightly then grin.

"Eek, now there's a picture you wouldn't wanna show your prospective boyfriend or fiancé, huh?" she grinned and stretched. He tried desperately to keep his emotions from showing on his face, but there were so many things he wanted so badly to reply to that with.

She considered him a moment, making him wonder if he'd betrayed himself, his stomach doing flip flops at the beautiful blue eyes trained on him, almost ethereal in how pure blue they were.

"Tell Liara thank you for me," she smiled softly and he twitched back slightly.

"How did you…?" Shepard grinned. He paused for a moment, looking at her tentatively. "So… you're not mad at me for viewing them?" he asked quietly to Shepard's back as she had turned away to put away her data-pads and reports.

"No, not really. Of course I wouldn't want the information that the discs contain spread around…" he opened his mouth, "but I trust you not to say anything." She stopped and considered the wall before her for a moment. "I am however curious…" she turned and leaned against her desk, crossing her arms and looking down at the still crouching turian. "Why did you get them to begin with?" Her face held no malice, just open curiosity and perhaps a slight hint of nervousness.

"I overheard a conversation between Miranda and Jacob a few days ago regarding the Lazarus Project and her remorse at the Illusive Man's apparent aversion to putting an electronic tether in you," she grimaced and smiled.

"Yes, she told me as much after my first meeting with the Illusive Man," he shook his head briefly.

"I just… wanted to be sure it wasn't just talk. If there was any indication that you had been tampered with… that the Illusive Man had somehow snuck something in under the radar…" his expression soured, clearly stating more than words could his opinion on that subject and what may happen to the illustrious head of Cerberus _had _Shepard been altered. She laughed brightly, his stomach flip flopping as he watched her.

"Thank you, Garrus. Although it does weird me out a little that you got to see my insides before I even did," she grinned at his remorseful expression, waving him off before he could rebuttal. "I'm just joking, no need to be all serious about it," she smiled.


	18. Overlord and Teamwork

Author's Note: So sorry about the long time between updates... I say that a lot, don't I? I write between classes when I can, I'll try to update more often. R&R!

* * *

The Cerberus message was irritatingly unclear as to their mission on this project; suffice to say it had to do with a rogue VI and a destroyed facility. Or something. Shepard hated walking into a situation blind. Landing in the shuttle they were greeted by teleprompter, Shepard snickered to herself over the comparison, telling them they needed to destroy the dish linking the facility with the rest of the galaxy before the VI uploaded itself to the extranet, infecting the entire galaxy. Hermes station was apparently the uplink point and there was no way to manually shut down transmissions. The dish had to be destroyed.

Shepard rolled her eyes in irritation as mechs and geth rose to meet them. It could never be simple or easy, could it? Garrus chuckled as an obviously perturbed Shepard led the team across the scaffolding in search of the supports for the dish. The man over their comm identified himself as Archer, Shepard listened with only half an ear, her assault rifle and biotics flashed, the swarms of geth and mechs more of a priority than listening to the man's annoying voice. Noting the generators, she overloaded and destroyed each one, Grunt and Garrus followed closely behind, skirting the platform as they sought out and broke each one.

The platform shuddered violently as Shepard destroyed the last one, the irritating man's voice choosing that particular moment to chime in over the comm and tell the team that destroying the support consoles would bring down the whole dish… and its platform.

"You've gotta be kidding me. MOVE!" Shepard screamed into her comm as the platform shuddered again violently, metal screeching in their ears as the supports gave way, the whole apparatus beginning to shift downward. The team sprinted for all they were worth toward the scaffolding, Shepard leaped first over the growing chasm between the dais and relative safety, not bothering to look back, trusting her team was there right behind her. Unfortunately for her, the trust she placed in them was sound… as was their weight as they came crashing down on her, Garrus landed solidly on top of her first on the narrow walkway, then both their lungs forcefully deprived of whatever air they had as Grunt topped their pile.

Shepard had landed at an awkward angle on the platform, Garrus' successive collision with her forcing her to the deck on her side, landing with him face down on top of her, then Grunt face down on top of them both.

"Grunt…" Shepard wheezed, her face flushed from her close proximity to the turian as well as her distinct lack of air, "get your fat ass off me before I shoot you in the face," she threatened, her only reply a throaty laugh from the krogan.

"Mmm… human and turian sandwich, yummy," he said, his usual gravelly voice filled with amusement. Garrus for his part was trying really hard not to concentrate on the slender body trapped beneath his. "Hmm… the commander trapped neatly beneath the turian. What rumors could I possibly start due to this situation…" the krogan murmured to himself, loud enough for both of them to hear. Shepard growled ferally, her sidearm clicking and whirring as it unlocked.

"Don't think I won't fill your face with holes, krogan," Shepard threatened as she shifted under Garrus, the teasing note in her voice showing through clearly.

"Calm down there, woman," Grunt laughed easily as he crawled off the pair. "You know I could give a quarian's ass about rumors on the ship," Garrus took his proffered hand and finally released the Commander from her weighted prison, in turn offering his hand to her, which she accepted, holstering her sidearm as she stood, leveling Grunt with a smirk.

"Glad you saw it my way," the two chuckled as they turned and headed into the facility.

=/=

That screaming, digitally garbled voice was really getting on her nerves. Dr. Gavin Archer had informed her team upon their arrival at the silent Cerberus facility that a rogue VI, an experiment intending to fuse a human intelligence with a VI program had resulted in the Overlord taking over the facility and killing all within. A total of three facilities had been purged to her knowledge. In the Hammerhead they had gone to Vulcan station and regained control, manually overriding the first set of locks on the VI core that would allow her access, hopefully to destroy the monstrosity. Traversing the station however, on every screen or wall panel they had been assaulted with the green holographic face of the Overlord and its screaming voice.

Following the Doctor's instructions they headed for the next facility, Prometheus. Over the comm, the good doctor decided to inform them, just as Shepard launched the small craft off the cliff overlooking the next station that it housed a large portion of a geth drop ship, and that the rogue VI had quite possibly taken over and planned to utilize the ship's cannon to defend itself. Against them. Fuck.

"Shepard… Shepard that cannon is powering up," Garrus said, his voice took on a higher pitch than she'd heard it have before; a red projected grid overlaid the ground the Hammerhead landed on. Gunning the engines hard, poor Garrus and Grunt slammed hard against the back as the vehicle rocketed forward, Shepard just barely managed to pilot the craft to the edge of the blast field before the cannon fired. The cannon was intended to take out other space faring ships. Not small land craft. If even the edge of a blast hit them they were done for.

Large generators stood by, feeding the impenetrable kinetic barrier around the cannon, their own kinetic barriers shimmering in the bright daylight. Red overlay the ground around them.

"Move, Shepard, move!" Garrus shouted as the Commander gunned the motors again, racing for the edge of the blast zone with everything the small craft had, just barely scooting out of range, the explosion rocked it dangerously. Spinning in place immediately Shepard pounded the shields around the closest generator intent on taking it down as quickly as possible. It took a few moments for the cannon to power up again and she planned on taking full advantage of that time. Zooming desperately between blasts, the whole team sat on the edge of their seats as Shepard one by one dropped the generators, the shield visibly weakening around the cannon with each one. Garrus watched her work, dread lodged in his gut. If she made even the slightest mistake…

Thankfully she didn't and the cannon became vulnerable. Still skirting the blasts, Shepard pounded it with the Hammerhead's cannon, rewarded finally with a large explosion as the circuitry finally gave way and the cannon went silent.

As Shepard led her team through the facility, the distinct feeling of wrongness began to grow in her gut and take hold of her mind. Log after log resounded through the otherwise silent halls of the research lab, speaking of work with the dormant geth, moving to personal issues with other team members and finally talking about the rogue VI. Apparently it had done to them what it was now doing to her team. They descended stairs or rounded a corner to find the door before them shutting and locking, leaving a different way open to them. It was herding them.

The garbled speech of the VI started to take on a more articulate form, though she still couldn't understand it. The voice evolved adopting a sadder, more pleading tone and Shepard knew all was not right in the facility and Archer was not telling them something.

Manually overriding the lock and exiting the facility, Shepard wheedled the information out of Archer that the test subject was his brother David. An autistic young man, extremely mathematically minded who created a breakthrough in geth communication just by being himself. According to Archer, they only merged his conscience with the VI in an attempt to peacefully communicate and possibly control the geth, thus preventing another war like the Quarian Geth war. Shepard wasn't buying it.

Finally entering Atlas station, the team moved along the corridors the VI left open for them, eventually emptying into a room where the elevator down was the only form of progression. Shepard messed with the controls, the elevator obviously not working properly. Punching in random sequences until she stumbled upon the right one, the elevator ascended to their floor, the Commander warned the team to take cover, unsure of what the open doors would bring. Sure enough, the elevator was filled with geth, a damned geth prime stepped into the open as well.

"Garrus this is all your fault," she growled into her comm, pelting the prime's shields with warp and her locust.

"What? What did I do?" he squawked back, setting up his sniper positioning.

"I don't know, but you seem like a good person to blame right now," Shepard spat back, Grunt chuckled over his end of the comm.

"Why don't you blame Tali then? At least she's not here to get upset about it," he grumbled back, amusement clear in his voice as he picked off the geth troops with precise sniper fire.

"How dare you blame poor Tali," Shepard quipped, quirking a smile as the prime's shields shorted out, allowing her access to overload its delicate circuit boards. "What did she ever do to you?" Shepard feigned indignance on Tali's behalf.

"But of course you're quick to blame me for no apparent reason," he growled into the comm, "and I didn't even do anything," he sighted down his scope, carefully picked out the main neurological line for the geth prime and shot it, the heavy armament overloaded immediately and shorted out, falling in a heap on the floor.

Shepard stood with a grin and approached the elevator.

"Yea, but it's fun to watch you squirm," she grinned at him and he rolled his eyes. The team entered the elevator and almost immediately regretted it. Instead of descending smoothly it jerked to a stop, sparks flew everywhere as it jolted up slightly, knocking the team within around. With a grinding sound that worried the Commander it began to descend again before jerking several times, the groaning of the metal resounding loudly in their ears. Suddenly the elevator plummeted, the disorienting feeling of weightlessness as they fell heavy in their stomachs. Fortunately for them it wasn't a long way down and the elevator slammed to the bottom floor, knocking them all to the ground, jarring their joints a considerable amount.

Shepard rose to her feet as the door slid open halfway, bitching under her breath that she was going to kill Archer herself for all the trouble he put them through. The elevator doors slid open enough to allow her slender frame passage, but the much larger turian and krogan were trapped inside. Levering herself in the opening, she pushed with her back and her foot against the doors until, with the shriek of resistant metal they finally slid all the way open.

"WARNING: Unsafe deceleration detected. Use of elevator not advised."

"No shit, Sherlock," Shepard grumped.

Proceeding further into the compound, doors opening and closing, herding them in a certain direction, Shepard realized when David's face appeared on the console, she could understand a few of his words. She definitely made out 'please' and 'stop.' Whatever was going on, she didn't think David was a willing participant. As their passage was once again blocked a door unlocked to their left. His broken image wailed something about 'too many voices' before once again growing silent.

Shepard cautiously stepped into the room, an intricate set of holographic paneling ahead of her. From the looks of it, activating the panel would shut off all access the VI had to any outer systems, including the outside world and the extranet.

"Shepard, something doesn't feel right… be careful," Garrus said from behind her, rifle at the ready. Shepard nodded her acknowledgement and activated her omni-tool, gazing intently at the console.

Immediately she realized her mistake, but it was too late to pull away. Upon contact with her omni-tool something hacked into her systems, overriding her tech and downloaded into her implants. The foreign sensation threw her into momentary spasms, Garrus and Grunt backed away slowly as she shimmered with a strange green light. Shepard's mind exploded in searing white, the pain unimaginable. Finally the ringing in her ears began to subside and the feed into her neural implants slowed, her pulse playing a fast, steady rhythm against the chaos in her head. Her convulsions stopped and she turned, shocking Garrus when he looked at her. Shepard's eyes shone bright glowing green through her sentry visor, her whole body shimmered green similarly to the AI controlled geth.

"Shepard are… are you ok?" Garrus asked cautiously taking a step toward her.

Staggering to the door, as if in a drunken haze, Shepard's knees buckled, vaguely aware of dropping to all fours, reeling wildly. As she acclimated to the overpowering sensations she steeled herself and forced herself back to her feet. Disorienting gridlines wavered through her vision, giving her world the appearance of holographic framework. She moved in a daze through the door, staring all around, her mind still trying to comprehend what was happening to her. Garrus and Grunt moved to follow their commander when the door shut in their faces, the locks hissing into place. The turian and krogan slammed the door, assaulting it with gunfire and their biotic and tech skills to no avail. They were trapped in the small room. Garrus beat the door with his fist, staring angrily through the door. _You'd better be all right, Shepard._

With the eyes of the VI, Shepard continued through the compound, now understanding David clearly, the occasional log updating the holes in the story. David had been attached to the VI without his consent and it had driven him mad. His screams for release and for the voices to quiet resounded in her head as she progressed, killing the generators so the insane VI couldn't upload himself into the Normandy databanks.

His hold over her implants broken, she approached the shell of a man before her, the torturous procedure he'd undergone churned her gut. He looked like a cyber crucifix victim, hanging with arms spread, wires attached all over him, his eyes forced open.

"Shepard, it's not what it looks like. David agreed to this, all this is needed to help prevent another war with the geth," Shepard stalked up to him, anger evident in her rigid features. Without a word she pistol whipped him, his gun fell to the floor from now limp hands. She grabbed him by his hair, the man bleating pathetically as she dragged him across the space, forcing him to his feet and shoving his face forward, forcing him to see what he'd done.

"He _wanted_ this? He _asked_ for this? It sounds to me like he wants it to stop. Like he's in immeasurable pain. How could you do this to your brother?" she threw him to the floor. "An autistic brother, who doesn't understand," he dragged himself to his feet, an excuse or exclamation on the edge of his lips. "A brother you were SUPPOSED to protect!" she backhanded him, sending him back to the floor.

"His suffering is for humanity!" he insisted, holding his abused face and not bothering to get up, looking at her pleadingly from the floor.

"What's the point in saving humanity," she knelt by him and he flinched away," if you're committing this monstrosity to save it? You're worse than what we're saving humanity from!" she turned away disgusted.

"I never had the chance to have a sibling. You have one with an incredible gift and this is what you do to him?" David repeated over and over, like a mantra, a sad, mournful repetition: "too many voices… make it stop… please… too many voices…" Shepard's heart broke as she stared at the poor young man's streaming eyes. His mournful voice repeated the calming numbers he always quoted.

"If David dies… then what I've done is unforgivable. Let me take him. I'll take care of him. Make sure he's treated right…" Shepard's side arm clicked on with a whirr.

"You're not taking him anywhere. You'll never be allowed near him again if I have anything to do with it," Archer stared at the gun in his face in desperation.

"Where will you take him?"

"Far from you."

The Normandy picked the team up and Shepard made sure he was submitted to the Jon Grissom Academy, an Alliance run program, well out of reach of Cerberus and Archer's clutches.

=/=

Sitting at the comm table she considered the group before her. Mordin had just finished outlining the upgrades he had planned as well as the materials and time it would take to accomplish his goals. The ship itself was ready, the last of the armor plating had been finished to Joker, EDI and Shepard's specification and Garrus had given the 'thumbs up' on the armaments. The long range scanners had been more than doubled and the ship was virtually in top shape. Modifications were in progress for each member's armor in order to better protect them against the collector swarms attacks though the salarian scientist insisted that prolonged exposure to the nano machines would prove a deadly experience.

The team seemed to be working together quite a bit better than they had been before. During meetings such as this arguments usually broke out. The fight between Jack and Miranda and subsequent threatening by Shepard had seemed to have taken hold. The women virtually ignored one another's existence. Prior meetings had consequently ended in major arguments between crew members, usually resulting in Jacob being hit for interfering, Tali threatening someone with her shotgun and Shepard breaking up the fight. Today things were much different.

Shepard kicked back as Miranda and Jacob went over their own upgrades to the ship after Mordin was finished. Jack then uncharacteristically illustrated her biotic upgrades and gave tips to those looking to boost the power in their own biotics. Samara agreed and gave her own tips on how to upgrade biotic output. Garrus went over the adjustments to the Normandy armaments as well as their personal arms, showing each team member what had been adjusted on their weapons as well as how to compensate while firing and reloading.

Joker spoke briefly about safe zones and the kind of dangers they could possibly run into on the other side of the Omega 4 relay. He outlined where in the ship was the safest and most dangerous and the different things they would need to keep track of. EDI chimed in with a few comments of her own on the subject. Tali stepped forward and briefly outlined the changes she'd made to the core and how that effected everyone on board, letting Joker know the differences he'd see in the controls to which he nodded with a thumbs up.

"Alright, crew," Shepard finally stood and put her hands on the comm table before her. "It looks like we're almost as ready as we ever will be. Check your gear over, it'll be a few more days, but we're making our last preparations before heading into the Omega relay. If you have any last things you need to do, make sure they get done now. Joker," he looked up.

"Yea, boss?"

"Begin installing the Reaper IFF. Take your time, EDI you too, and make sure it's done safely. I don't want anything happening to our new Normandy," Joker looked nervous but he nodded. EDI made a small few comments about how the ship would need to mostly be offline and that if they needed to land anywhere to take a shuttle.

Dismissing the team, Shepard headed to her quarters to go over the last of her paperwork.


	19. Blowing off Steam and Abducted

Author's Note: Don't forget to review!

Mass Effect & contents (c) Bioware Corp.

* * *

A few hours later found a restless Shepard roaming the ship. The entire crew seemed to be wholly wrapped up in their own preparations, sending messages, watching vids from home, checking over their gear. Making her way down to the Crew Quarters level she found her feet leading her toward the forward battery. Shepard had already spoken with most of the rest of the team, gauged their mental state and found them to be nervous but ready to follow her into anything.

The doors to the battery slid open and she found Garrus at his usual console, testing numbers or algorithms or whatever it was he did.

"Shepard."

"Garrus, you got a minute?" the turian turned his head, surprised at the conversational tone of her voice.

"I always have time for you, Shepard, I was just checking over my calculations anyways, nothing that can't wait until later," the Commander took a seat on a nearby bulkhead while he leaned back against the console. Since she seemed to need companionship without anything in particular on her mind, he started the conversation up.

"You know, I don't know how you humans deal with the stress in a time before a huge battle like this. We deal with it very differently on turian ships."

"How so?" she folded her hands, resting them against her chin, one elbow on each knee.

"Well, turian discipline is a lot more violent for one. We tend to let off stress in a very physical manner. For this reason turian ships are set up with large exercise rooms and combat sims where we are allowed to work out, relieve stress and even fight before a large battle."

"Wait they let you guys beat on each other before a battle?" Garrus shook his head.

"It's not like it sounds, no one is hurt usually and there's always someone overseeing the rounds. No one puts the mission at risk with a pointless injury. Typically it's a good way to get grudges out of the way and settle disputes amicably. I remember before boarding a batarian pirate vessel, very risky operation, this one recon scout and I were at each other's throats almost the entire time. Nerves mostly. So the night before we settled it in the ring," Shepard's interest looked piqued.

"So who won?"

"It was a draw, she and I were the top hand to hand combat experts on the ship. It was brutal. After nine rounds they had to call it a draw. There were a lot of unhappy betters in the training room that day, but we were pretty evenly matched. I had reach, she had flexibility," he shrugged. Smiling, Shepard stood and put her hands on her hips.

"Well, I could use some stress relief, what do you say?" Garrus looked at her with wide grey-blue eyes.

"I'd never really thought you were the type for sparring…" Shepard shrugged.

"It would mostly be in good fun, as I really wouldn't recommend someone overseeing a fight on this ship, but throwing you around sounds like great stress relief to me," she grinned and he couldn't help himself.

"Yea, sure, I don't see why not…" though he seemed unsure, Shepard slapped his shoulder amicably and grinned.

"Great! There's a good spot down in cargo hold 2, meet me down there in an hour?" Garrus nodded and she left, the turian stood there for a while staring at the spot she'd vacated. What was he thinking? Fighting Shepard? His stomach did flip flops at the thought of actually grappling with the woman.

=/=

An hour later Shepard was down in the cargo hold, her stretchy black under armor pants and N7 shirt on, warming up a little. A few minutes later she heard the door open and Garrus strode in, clad only in his own under armor; seeing the turian without his armor was a little strange, but Garrus was still quite a bit larger than her, his alien features now more imposing looking.

"Shepard, are you sure this is a good idea?" he asked, a very dubious expression on his face, Shepard nodded vigorously.

"Of course it is. You two obviously did just fine, sure I don't have the thick skin of a turian, but I'm very flexible," she grinned and he couldn't help remembering how that fight had ended, he swallowed hard. "Besides, I owe it to you after you goaded all that information out of me while I was drunk, along with those videos you picked up" she teased him, bouncing up and down in a limber fighting stance and he couldn't help smiling.

"I admit to nothing," he grinned back.

"You'd better. That Lazarus video didn't exactly exhibit my best side," she grinned and he blanched slightly, remembering certain parts where she'd lain completely nude on the table as they'd worked on her. Shepard didn't bother laying out padding, the hard floor suited her just fine, better grip in her mind. Garrus reluctantly fell into a limber stance opposite her and the fight began. For the first few heartbeats the opponents just circled one another, studying the others stance and looking for openings or weaknesses. The two of them realized that though they'd seen one another in countless combat situations, it was never hand to hand with the exception of the occasional butt stroke.

Shepard was the first to move, closing the distance and throwing a few punches, all of which he blocked easily. The assaults continued, remaining in relatively close quarters, trading exceedingly fast punches and kicks, blocking what ones they could, both grunting when a strike would land. The pace increased incrementally at first, the two concentrating at the top of their capabilities, neither quite able to land a significant punch or kick. Finally Shepard caught an opening and completely shocked the turian by ramming her shoulder right into his chest, toppling the taller alien.

Grappling her quickly as to not let her get the upper hand, he attempted to roll on top of her, trying to pin her arms but she was quicker; her hands were gone before he'd finished reaching for her and her much smaller stature allowed her to slip around, almost escaping before he managed to grip her shoulder and slam her into the floor. Twisting around, she kneed his ribcage and slithered out the other side, trying to get behind him. His arms were too long, he wrapped said appendage around her ribcage and dragged her back down, her legs straining against him to prevent that happening. If he managed to get his full weight on top of her, the fight was over.

In a last ditch effort she slammed her feet against the ground and toppled the grappling pair over, with Garrus now on his back and Shepard on top of him. This wouldn't work, she was much too much smaller than him for this position to be of any advantage for her. Leaping nimbly away, she crouched on the deck and sprang back at him, taking the turian attempting to sit up by surprise, knocking him on his side. Slinking to the side she managed to get an arm around his neck, but his body was pressed against the deck, she couldn't get both legs around him and achieve a submission press. Wrapping her one leg around his ribs she slammed into him attempting to force him down, but he was much stronger, pushing off the deck, she now wrapped both legs around him, but he shifted, warning her that he meant to fall backward. Releasing him so she wouldn't be crushed he still managed to slam her side against the floor, breaking her leg hold on him.

Their grappling continued for well over an hour, both beginning to breathe hard, but neither willing to give up as they fought for an advantage over the other. Elbows and knees connected, submissions were attempted and failed on both sides. Arousal hung heavy in the air as they struggled for domination, the occasional growl escaping one or the other. He at first had been shocked when she'd growled back at him, unsure if she knew the possible turian meaning behind such a thing, but quickly swiped the thought away, thoroughly enjoying bending the Commander into impossible positions and having her squirm out.

Finally, the duo's breathing labored, he had her elbow locked and her knee was wrapped around his neck they paused a moment.

"How... did you two... end your fight... you and that scout" Shepard panted out, sweat running down her brow.

"We... didn't. It... was a draw..." he panted back attempting to take advantage of their momentary pause and yanked her hard, spinning the smaller woman, and she grabbed his biceps to stall whatever submission attempt he was doing. Holding one another's biceps, now face to face, he glowered at her, the deep thrumming in his chest vibrating against her sternum, almost feeling like purring.

"Well you had to end it somehow..." she panted and he nodded.

"We did, the judge _called_it a draw... we... had a tiebreaker... in her room later..." he nodded with a goofy turian style grin, "my reach, her flexibility..." he repeated continuing to pant and Shepard had to grin at that, her stomach suddenly tightening in fear and anticipation. It was now or never.

"Well this was great for blowing off stress, but we could do _that _too," he looked at her his mind gone completely blank, unsure if he'd heard her right, "my room, your reach... my flexibility..." she grinned at his slack jaw expression and she took advantage of his momentary laxness to push off him, escaping and landing nimbly on her feet a short distance away. Garrus sat up, rubbing his head in a little embarrassment and confusion, his world turned completely upside down.

"You... you want to... what? Do you mean that?" he gazed at her, his blue eyes belying the confusion in his head and Shepard nodded at him with a seductive smile, though internally she was terrified, her focus hung on his every word and response.

"Unless," she stood, unfolding her lithe body, "that would make you uncomfortable...?" Garrus shook himself from his stupor, there was _no_way he wanted her thinking that.

"No, no not at all, it's just, a human and a turian, I... I'm not even sure if it would work, but we could look into it. I mean... there's no one I respect more in the galaxy than you and if we could find a way to make it work then... yea, definitely," he sat looking up at her feeling like a witless youth as she smiled. He couldn't believe this was happening. Shepard… wanted to _be_ with _him?_

"Alright, well..." she gave him a small, coy and maybe shy smile, "I will let you determine when you're ready to... relieve stress," she smiled, looking down and brushing stray hairs away from her face and he couldn't help the flip flop his gut did at the sight of her.

Backing away slowly before pivoting and sauntering from the room, her hips rolling enticingly, she left Garrus to his own devices, which for the moment consisted of him sitting on the cargo bay floor in a sexually frustrated state.

=/=

Shepard's triumphant glee concerning Garrus' response was quickly though momentarily swept to the side as she worked. The spectre stood, clean from her shower a few hours ago, omni-tool illuminating her features as she reviewed each and every aspect of the ship and her crew's defenses and armaments. Deft fingers made quick and precise movements on the console and her holographic tool as she calculated resources and tested data ported to the wall unit courtesy of Mordin.

Quirking an internal smile though externally nothing changed, the Commander reviewed in her head the conversation that took place with the salarian scientist earlier regarding her relations with a certain tall, grey-blue eyed turian. The overly intelligent man had correctly assessed the situation and launched straight into the heart of the matter: Safe Sex. Turian and human biology are vastly different and Mordin supplied information as well as materials that would aid the pair in whatever endeavor they chose to pursue. Good ole doc Mordin.

"Commander," EDI's voice sounded from the nearby panel, "the inquiry you made concerning the location of additional platinum has been concluded. There is a large supply on a nearby planet; however with the Normandy in its current state, it would be prudent to take a shuttle to the surface to gather the material manually. With as many systems offline during the installation of the Reaper IFF, it would not be intellectually sound to move the ship until systems are once more secure." Shepard considered the console before her.

"Understood, EDI. Send a message down to the docking bay to have a shuttle prepared for our departure. I'm taking the team down to expedite the process. It'd be good to get everyone off ship one last time as well," Shepard shut down her omni-tool.

"Very well, Commander," the woman ignored the elevators in favor of bounding her way through the service routes up to the captain's loft to retrieve her armor. Once there, she punched up her comm to produce sound across the Normandy.

"Shepard here, I want the entire team to prepare and assemble in the docking bay effective immediately. Armor and full armaments required," punching the comm off, Shepard turned and prepared her own armor and equipment to disembark.

=/=

Slamming her fist against the console, she was surprised and disturbed at the empty echo that followed. They took them. Every damn crew member. The collectors honed in right on their position when the Reaper IFF was activated, conveniently while the entire team was planet side. The only crew to avoid capture was Joker who managed to utilize service tunnels despite his condition and convert control to EDI. The AI piloted the Normandy to safety before returning control to a distraught Joker. Re-acquiring the team, they high tailed it out of the system before the Collectors came around for another try.

Tali placed a calming hand on the spectre's shoulder and she relaxed slightly.

"We'll get them back, Shepard," the Commander bowed her head for a moment. When her head came back up, the team caught a steely gleam in her eyes that made each one glad they were on her side.

"EDI, make damn sure that Reaper IFF won't do this again and get that damn thing online and working. The moment it's ready we're going through that relay and taking my crew back or dying trying," her fist slammed the console again and Mordin idly wondered which would break first, the material or Shepard's fist. Probably the material, he nodded to himself.

"I will not go out silently," she growled before turning away and stalking off, the hardened expressions of her team echoing her sentiments.


	20. A Night to Remember

Author's Note: WARNING! ADULT CONTENT: if you don't like sex scenes, don't read this chapter, because that's really all it is. Thank you all for reading and for those of you that reviewed and followed this story. At least until ME3 comes out this one will be considered complete. Perhaps later I'll consider adding chapters, but for now, I've lost inspiration to create more content. For now I simply wanted to give some closure to those who might still be following it and hoping for an intimate scene. Thanks again!

* * *

Later that night Shepard sat in her quarters, staring with unseeing eyes as her fish floated on the gentle manufactured current, their elegant and colorful fins undulating in the cool blue water.

Sighing in uncharacteristic frustration and unrest, the spectre stood and stripped, hoping a hot shower would calm her thoughts and tightly wound muscles.

As the hot spray ran over her, she ducked her head into the stream, letting the water plaster her hair to her neck and shoulders, relishing the feeling of it running down her face and body. Resting a hand against the cool wall tile, the young woman simply let her thoughts and worries drift down the drain like the water. So much was riding on her every action. How many women her age carried such burdens? What would it be like to be a 'normal' woman. Have a family. Maybe a pet. Live in a little home on a colony somewhere. Carry on with every day mundane life, not a care in the world past whether any children she had were doing well in their education, or what she was going to cook for dinner that night.

Lifting her head with a bitter chuckle the seasoned veteran knew that was not for her. Not her. She'd never be satisfied in such a life. It wasn't that she was anything spectacular and that she was above such an existence, it was that she didn't fit in that setting. Just like one of those women wouldn't fit in hers. She was Shepard, nothing more, nothing less.

Her talks with Garrus had made her realize she was good at what she did. She was a natural leader. And her heart was too big to allow the atrocities currently threatening the galaxy to go un-challenged. Though she might die trying and with no recognition from the Council or the whole damn galaxy, she would still try. Because that's what she did. She was nervous, hell she was scared to death, but she had accepted death long ago. It had happened once already after all.

But her crew… her eyes opened, water streaming off her lashes as she watched it drip off her arm, felt it running down her face. She couldn't let her crew down. They deserved to live on. Whatever it took… they would all return… of that she promised herself.

Then there was Garrus. Her heart leapt into her throat. Even if he came to her for one night only. She was positive their friendship would endure, if anything merging into a 'friends with benefits' role. Yes, she loved him. If he didn't reciprocate then it was nothing new and nothing lost really. He would still be there for her, of that she was sure.

Shutting the water off and wrapping herself in a towel, she dried her pale skin, contemplating her train of thought idly. Activating the door control and exiting the bathroom, she was surprised to find a turian standing in her office area; his head swiveled to take in the sight of her standing virtually naked, outlined by the harsh bathroom light behind her. He was dressed in a casual shirt and pants, no gloves for once, his deadly taloned hands exposed.

Shepard smiled at him as he stared at her, apparently frozen on the spot, all his well rehearsed speeches about wanting their moment to be 'right' and 'perfect' completely gone out the window. He hadn't even been sure tonight should be the night until that moment. The door slid shut behind the spectre and in the same moment the towel fell to the floor, his pants almost immediately grew suffocatingly tight, his arousal pressing against the plates on his abdomen, begging for release. A hunter's gleam shimmered in her deep blue eyes and the turian in him rose to meet it, stalking across the space between them in one smooth movement, neatly pinning the smaller woman against the bathroom door, lifting her off the floor slightly.

A purring growl bubbled up in his chest as her arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, her hands trailing down his neck, curious fingers running along his fringe and touching the mandibles on his face. The contact sent jolts of arousal through him, his growls becoming more feral. Shepard smiled up at him, his thigh pressing neatly between hers, parting her legs, her feet a short distance from the floor. One arm snaked firmly around her waist, the other propped against the door as he nuzzled into her neck, breathing deeply of her scent, her soft skin like silk against his plates.

He shuddered slightly as Shepard's ministrations continued, almost chuckling when her hands dropped impatiently to the hem of his shirt, the garment ripping in their haste to pull it off. Eagerly her hands explored the entirety of his chest while he burrowed his face into her neck and collar bones, his tongue flicked out to taste her skin, her head dropped back, a groan escaped her soft lips. He was amazingly warm to the touch, his broad chest and abdomen was covered by leathery skin a brownish silver color in areas, armor like plates along the sides of his ribcage and his back, his chest sporting smaller ones.

Writhing hard against him, Shepard realized she'd never met a more masculine figure, enjoying every inch of his considerable chest while he ran his claws in feather light touches up and down her bare skin, eliciting moans and shivers from the woman.

Garrus had slept with an asari before, but Shepard's skin seemed so much softer and suppler, deceivingly covering hard, corded muscles beneath that rippled and flexed as she moved, the sheer power of the woman in his arms cementing without a doubt in his mind that she was the only one he would accept as a mate. If she wouldn't take him, then so be it, but he knew she'd ruined him forever.

Garrus pressed her hard against the wall, grinding his hips against her before growling in irritation, letting her down slightly so he could remove his pants. Shepard watched in fascination as he finally revealed himself, his erection, much larger than she had been expecting was no longer sheathed beneath the protective plates that turians were covered with. With a growl at her obvious approval, he gathered her up in his arms, once again pinned her against the wall, his left arm hooked her knee and lifted her up, his eyes slid halfway shut at the return growl she gave him. If only she had any idea what that did to him.

He knew he should seduce her more, lay her out and treat her body with the respect and time she deserved, but his instincts could not be denied and she seemed in agreement from the way she clung to him, waiting impatiently as he poised himself at her opening. It was a joining of warriors long in the waiting and neither could stop the intense longing for release at one another's hands. There would be time later for the careful exploration and worship of one another's bodies, but right then all thoughts were consumed by need.

In one swift movement he sheathed himself in her, pausing while she adjusted to his size, the fingernails dug into his shoulder plates an indication that he might be a little large for her, but she didn't cry out, a soft moan was all she managed. Momentarily she began shifting on him, indicating she was more than ready for him to move, her writhing sending delicious ripples through his body.

Spirits she was tight, her slick walls clamped down around him, the sheer heat of their joining almost unbearable. Somewhere in the back of his mind a concern about chafing arose, but as he shifted inside her, white hot pleasure overloaded his mind, he found it hard to maintain the thought, or any coherent thought at all for that matter.

Picking up a slow, steady rhythm at first, he lifted her higher, her knee now over his shoulder as he began to pound into her, a purring sound reverberating in his chest as she clung to him, soft mewling moans growing louder, her head tilted back against the door, eyes slid shut. Slowly his strokes increased until he could barely hold her against the wall anymore, using it as a support as he impaled her over and over again, her pants and moans filling his ears like music. His hand on her hip grasped her like in a vice, he could feel his talons break her skin, but she didn't seem to notice or care, her grip on him solid, unwilling to let him go.

Pleasure coursed through her body, riding on a current of ecstasy, the need for release coiling deep in her abdomen. Clawing at his shoulders, her fingers found the creases in his plates as she tilted her hips to his rhythm, such as it were, his powerful thrusts holding her firmly against the cool surface her back was pressed to. He was so warm around her and inside her she thought she was going to burst.

A thought entered his mind, overpowering his need for release; his pace slowed a little, both their breaths coming in pants. Shifting eagerly, wondering why he slowed, she rolled her hips, encouraging him to pick up his pace again. He groaned softly shutting his eyes and dropping his forehead to her shoulder, praying he could get this out without her driving him over the edge.

"Wait… S-Shepard… Selydra…" he panted, her eyes opening to meet his, clearly at a loss for words at his use of her name. "I … I just..." he groaned as she shifted again, "hang on a sec," he pleaded, the growl in his voice earning a smile from her, "I need to get this out before my brains turn to mush…Selydra, I… I love you." She stared at him, blue eyes wide. "I need you. Whenever I'm not around you I don't know what to do with myself… when you were gone those two years … I …" she shushed him with soft lips against his face, her mouth playing gently with his mandibles eliciting a soft purr from his throat.

"I love you too, Garrus," she said softly. "I think I always have," he felt like his chest was going to burst. That was all he needed. Resuming with renewed vigor, he pounded her hard and fast, her groans of his name rising to a crescendo as he pushed her over the edge, all her pent up frustration and longing releasing in a mind shattering orgasm, the turian followed close behind, slamming into her hard a few times as he spilled himself inside her, feral growls rolling out of him, his face buried in the nook of her shoulder.

After a few eternal moments standing there as they were he scooped her up, still connected to him at the hips, one arm cradling her waist, the other running up her bare back into her hair, his three fingered hand buried deep in her dark tresses, relishing the soft, foreign feeling of her hair. Carefully he carried her like this to the bed, their hips finally separating as he lay her out below him, crawling up the bed and laying down beside her.

She smiled up at him as he gazed at her. She knew she was going to be bruised in quite a few areas, her hip was still bleeding, she could feel it, and chafing was already beginning to show on the inside of her thighs, but she had never felt more wonderful in her entire life. The consequences of sex with a turian was something she was well aware of long before she decided to tempt fate by asking him, Mordin's 'instructional guides' helped fill in the gaps in her knowledge. Not that she cared. She wouldn't trade her position right now for the world.

Garrus lay propped up above her, his head resting against one hand, his other running idly through her hair as he looked down at her.

"You know…" he began quietly, her head tilting at him curiously, "this means you're stuck with me. You can't just tell a turian stuff like that and then expect him to go away," he teased her and she smiled up at him.

"Well it's a good thing then, that way I don't have to shoot you," she grinned and he snorted, his eyes twinkling down at her. Never in his whole lifetime had he thought this moment would be possible. If it weren't for how amazing he felt he would probably have thought it all a dream.

Unexpectedly flipping him on his back, he stared up at her as she straddled his hips; her lips leaving hot trails of arousal down his mandibles, face and fringe his mind began to get hazy. _Definitely not a dream_, he thought contentedly.


End file.
